House
EP. TITLE AIR/PUB'L GRADE AUTHOR 4-12Recap
Mazeltohno
Don't Ever Change - Mazel tov? House has to deal with an ailing Hasidic Jewish woman who he of course thinks is lying. Surprise!
2008.02.042008.02.11 B
Sara M
4-11That's Cold
Frozen - Love is in the air, as House treats a South Pole-bound Mira Sorvino via webcam and his heart grows three sizes. Wilson freezes House out of his romantic life, refusing to reveal the identity of his new girlfriend. Meanwhile, the Cottages are stuck down in ER trying to ruin Cameron's life until either House gets his cable back or they learn a lesson.
2008.02.022008.02.10 B+
Sara M
4-10It's A Lot of Stuff We've Seen Before
It's A Wonderful Lie - What do you do when you have to churn out as many episodes as possible before a writers' strike? You take stuff from several episodes and mash it all together in this semi-coherent, semi-interesting episode about a woman who never lies to daughter except the one time it counts. Then she gets breast cancer in her knee.
2008.01.282008.02.04 D-
Sara M
4-9Games Over
Games - Cuddy forces House to choose his Cottages and everyone says "games" a lot. In the end, House gets to hire three Cottages instead of two, thanks to a combination of Cuddy's gullibility and strict enforcement of PPTH's token female staffing rule; Wilson gets sued for giving a terminal cancer patient good news; and the show repeats a diagnosis when the patient ends up having crazy measles.
2007.11.262007.12.03 B-
Sara M
4-8The Illusionist
You Don't Want To Know - House makes his magician patient think he's dying and one of his employees think she inherited the fatal degenerative disease that killed her mother, all in the name of curiosity.
2007.11.192007.11.26 B
Sara M
4-7Ugly Girls Need Not Apply
Ugly - This week, we discover that House only hires women who are hot and then is too distracted by their hotness to do his job properly. PS loves his wife so much that he cheated on her with his hot nurse. But don't worry, patient of the week with giant head deformity: it's what's inside that counts. Sure.
2007.11.122007.11.19 B
Sara M
4-6Doctors Without Boundaries
Whatever It Takes - House is whisked off to the CIA to cure an agent and make lewd sexual advances. Foreman is left in charge of the Numbers, who refuse to respect his authority. Random Guy finally gets a personality, unfortunately for his patient and the medical community in general.
2007.11.052007.11.12 C+
Sara M
4-5Who's the Fairest One of All?
Mirror, Mirror - No one is in this episode, where the writers make up a form of amnesia and insult the viewers' intelligence, Cuddy forces House to employ Foreman again, and the opportunity to learn something about the Numbers is pretty much wasted.
2007.10.292007.11.05 D
Sara M
4-4Irene Sees Dead People
Guardian Angels - A patient hallucinates up a bunch of dead people, but the Numbers are too busy fighting which each other and digging up actual dead people to be of much assistance. Speaking of ass, Cameron butts into House's business and cares way more about whom he'll hire than she should.
2007.10.222007.10.29 B+
Sara M
4-3Everybody Dies
97 Seconds - House kills his patient of the week, his patient of the week's dog, his Clinic patient, and himself. Foreman manages to save his patient's life, but can't save his job. He should have no problem finding employment at PPTH, as it's the bottom of the hospital barrel at this point.
2007.10.082007.10.15 D+
Sara M
4-2New Kids On The Block
The Right Stuff - House whittles his forty fellow candidates down while treating a NASA pilot who doesn't want any tests that will ruin her chances of flying into outer space. Meanwhile, the former Cottages walk around PPTH in slow motion.
2007.10.012007.10.08 B-
Sara M
4-1Maturity Hour
Alone - While a team-less House bungles his way through a case to prove that he doesn't need new Cottages, Wilson and Cuddy steal things and send out silent-treatment order memos to prove that he does.
2007.09.242007.10.01 B-
Sara M
3-24Everybody Leaves
Human Error - A Cuban couple risk their lives to see House, and he treats the wife so well that her heart stops for a day, then it randomly restarts. He's able to solve the case, but he can't keep Foreman and Cameron from quitting, nor can he stop himself from firing Chase. He can't even make himself care, so how can we?
2007.05.282007.06.02 D+
Sara M
3-23Jerked Around
The Jerk - House sends the staff on a wild goose chase to solve the mystery of Who Sabotaged Foreman's Job Interview, while, with somewhat less enthusiasm, they also try to figure out why the most horrible boy in the world -- whose personality bears a remarkable resemblance to House's -- is having severe head pains and multiple organ failure. Also, Foreman is still quitting.
2007.05.142007.05.19 B+
Sara M
3-22Folger's Crystals
Resignation - Wilson secretly replaces House's regular coffee with anti-depressants. House secretly replaces Wilson's regular coffee with speed. The patient of the week secretly replaces Tylenol gel caps with kitchen cleanser. A clinic patient secretly replaces soy tofu nut burgers with cheeseburgers. And Foreman secretly replaces the stuff I liked about his character with annoying self-righteousness.
2007.05.072007.05.13 C+
Sara M
3-21The Yips
Family - After killing a patient last week, Foreman struggles to make necessary decisions with possible fatal consequences, which House likens to a case of "the yips," a sports-performance-anxiety-related condition. House gives him four days to get over it while he struggles with his own case of the yips -- in this case, a yippy little dog who keeps chewing up his stuff.
2007.04.302007.05.07 C+
Sara M
3-20Huge Ego, Sorry
House Training - House is too busy plotting against Wilson and Cuddy's budding friendship and stealing Wilson's dog to stop Foreman from killing a patient.
2007.04.232007.04.24 B-
Sara M
3-19Everyone Has Hormones Except Cameron
Act Your Age - Even little kids have them this week, as a brother and sister are admitted for various health problems stemming from a mysterious hormonal imbalance. Wilson asks Cuddy out to the theater, prompting a jealous response from House, who then asks Cuddy out for himself. Chase tries to get Cameron back, but she still maintains that she doesn't have feelings for him.
2007.04.162007.04.22 B+
Sara M
3-18Flakes On A Plane
Airborne - Cuddy is convinced that a passenger on a flight with her and House has meningitis, and she manages to make herself and the rest of the plane's passengers almost die from meningitis they don't even have. Fortunately, House quickly diagnoses them all with mass hysteria and with being total hypochondriac babies before diagnosing the original sick passenger with sucking at SCUBA diving. Meanwhile, some lady and her prostitute come to PPTH and are subjected to the incompetence of its staff when House isn't around to bail them out.
2007.04.092007.04.15 B-
Sara M
3-17Fatal Disposition
Fetal Position - A pregnant woman is determined to save the baby that's killing her. House tries to kill the baby anyway, while Cuddy loses her objectivity, ruins the patient's lungs, threatens to kill House, and somehow manages to save everyone.
2007.04.022007.04.09 B
Sara M
3-16Pissed Off
Top Secret - House goes days without peeing thanks to his Vicodin usage. In the meantime, he treats the man of his dreams. (No, not Wilson.)
2007.03.262007.04.01 C
Sara M
3-15What Would You Say?
Half-Wit - House has terminal brain cancer, and the Cottages are too bereft to treat the patient of the week, a guy whose brain damage turned him into a musical savant played by Dave Matthews.
2007.03.052007.03.12 B+
Sara M
3-14Harvest
Insensitive - A girl who can't feel pain shows up in the PPTH ER, and House can't wait to steal her spinal nerves for his own selfish ends. Then she ends up actually being sick, so he has to work, too. It turns out that she has a huge tapeworm in her gut that's stealing all her nutrients, thus giving her various vitamin deficiencies. With all this going on, you'd think House wouldn't have the time to ruin Cuddy's promising blind date. He does.
2007.02.122007.02.18 B+
Sara M
3-13Scared Lovers Try Positions They Can't Handle
Needle In A Haystack - That's Cameron's mnemonic device for remembering the wrist bones, and it's also what puts Stevie into PPTH's clutches this week. Meanwhile, House fights to reclaim his parking space from a woman in a wheelchair.
2007.02.052007.02.11 B
Sara M
3-12One Day, One Womb
One Day, One Room - House is forced to do Clinic duty, and his rape-victim patient forms an unfortunate emotional attachment to him, which can't be good for anyone. Especially when it turns out that she's pregnant and wants to keep her baby. Cameron gets stuck watching a terminal cancer patient die. Foreman and Chase wonder what happened to their screentime.
2007.01.292007.02.04 C
Sara M
3-11Broken Arc Syndrome
Words And Deeds - House leaves a young male patient suffering from menopause and broken heart syndrome in the care of the Cottages while he deals with rehab and court, and they manage to get strangled and erase all of their patient's memories unnecessarily. But it's all good because Cuddy lies in court to get the case against House dismissed and Tritter is now just a bad memory.
2007.01.082007.01.14 D+
Sara M
3-10A Little Of This, A Little Of That
Merry Little Christmas - House treats a dwarf with multiple organ failure while Cuddy cuts off his Vicodin supply to force him to take the deal Wilson and Tritter worked out for him. It's a Christmas episode that manages to be both funny and sad, almost over-the-top melodramatic and intense, and anything but heartwarming.
2006.12.112006.12.16 C+
Sara M
3-9House The Magician
Finding Judas - Watch as he makes his allies disappear and tries to saw a little girl in half!
2006.11.272006.12.04 B
Sara M
3-8Passive-Aggressive
Whac-A-Mole - An eighteen-year-old stuck raising his siblings comes down with a nice variety of diseases. The patient isn't too concerned about finding a cure for his condition, though, because being sick gives him a guilt-free way to get out of parenting his siblings. Meanwhile, Tritter makes Wilson's life more and more miserable, and Wilson just takes it.
2006.11.202006.11.26 B-
Sara M
3-7Suspended Disbelief
Son Of Coma Guy - There's a lot of impossibilities here: House manages to wake up a man in a vegetative state for one day, which the guy would rather spend eating hoagies in Atlantic City than helping save his son's life. Meanwhile, Tritter invades various PPTH locations to interrogate the Cottages and freezes Wilson's bank account for absolutely no reason.
2006.11.132006.11.19 B-
Sara M
3-6Vogler II: Electric Vog-a-loo
Que Será Será - There's a new fat guy at PPTH, but he's just the patient, not the antagonist. That title belongs to Detective Tritter, who continues his insane quest for ass thermometer justice.
2006.11.062006.11.12 C
Sara M
3-5Awkward
Fools For Love - While House tries to find out whether Wilson is dating a new nurse, a young happily married couple come in with similar baffling symptoms. Since this show hates love, their happiness will be destroyed in the worst way possible. Also, House leaves a thermometer in a Clinic patient's butt and makes another enemy.
2006.10.302006.11.05 B-
Sara M
3-5"You Get To Basically Be An Ass On Paper And Channel Your Twelve-Year-Old Self"
The Garrett Lerner Interview - House co-executive producer Garrett Lerner tells us how he and his twelve-year-old self help to make House the sarcastic ass we can't help loving.
2006.10.262006.10.26 A
Sara M
3-4You Are What You Eat
Lines In The Sand - An autistic boy with the tendency to eat animal poop-filled sand is the Patient of the Week. The teenager from last week with the scary crush on House is back, but it turns out that she just ingested some fungi that made her into a fun girl. And Cameron apparently ate some Nosy-Os, as she eschews work in favor of figuring out why House wants his old bloodstained carpet back.
2006.09.252006.10.01 C+
Sara M
3-3Life Is Not A Cabaret
Informed Consent - House tackles the issue of doctor-assisted suicide when a patient, played by Joel Grey, asks House to kill him, even though he doesn't have a terminal diagnosis. Or any diagnosis. But who cares about that, when we can focus on Cameron learning a lesson and developing as a person and a doctor. By killing her patient.
2006.09.182006.09.24 C+
Sara M
3-2Paranormal And Paraplegics
Cane & Able - Wilson and Cuddy conspire to keep the truth from House that he cured a man who was wheelchair-bound for eight years, while House investigates a boy who claims he was abducted by aliens and has the bleeding ass to prove it.
2006.09.112006.09.17 B
Sara M
3-1Meaningless
Meaning - House got shot last season, and all we got was this lousy episode where his thigh muscle magically regrows and he tries to help his patients instead of hurting them and winds up doing both in between jogs and skateboarding sessions.
2006.09.042006.09.10 D+
Sara M
2-24Ballbuster
No Reason - House is shot and wakes up in the ICU with a healed leg and an increasingly loose grasp on reality, taking the audience with him. By the end, no one knows what, if anything, in this episode is real. We really hope, for House's sake, that the Patient of the Week's exploding body parts are not.
2006.05.222006.05.28 B
Sara M
2-23Hurricrap Katrina
Who's Your Daddy? - House cashes in on real tragedy with a Patient of the Week who lost everything in the disaster, earning her House's undying hatred and distrust. He does such a good job of treating her that she craps out of her mouth and her lungs turn into Swiss cheese.
2006.05.152006.05.21
Sara M
2-22Take Your Vitamins
Forever - Not only will they make you big and strong, but they'll also prevent you from going insane and trying to murder your own baby. Chase can't afford vitamins, though, because Daddy wrote him out of the will and now he's so poor he has to work in NICU. And Foreman is back from the brink of death with a happy new life-loving attitude that pisses everyone off.
2006.05.082006.05.14 B-
Sara M
2-21Black Matter, White Matter
Euphoria, Part II - Foreman is on the fast track to death unless House can figure out what's wrong with him. Myriad things are tried, but none of them work, leaving the physicians with only one choice: a white matter brain biopsy that may well leave Foreman worse off than the disease. House doesn't want to do it, but it's not his choice: it's Cameron's.
2006.05.022006.05.07 B+
Sara M
2-20Staff Infection
Euphoria, Part I - We all knew it had to happen sooner or later, and it was sooner: one of House's staff catches a disease from a Patient of the Week. Foreman's the unlucky one, but he isn't the unluckiest one. That honor would go to the Patient of the Week, who dies before House and the team can find a cure.
2006.05.012006.05.05 C+
Sara M
2-19House Vs. God
House Vs. God - We can't improve on that episode title, which is obviously the best of all time. House's latest patient is a teenaged faith healer, who manages to "heal" one of Wilson's terminal cases. House would rather figure out how this happened and let the woman know that her cancer is still as bad as it ever was than believe that God is a better doctor than he is.
2006.04.242006.04.30 B-
Sara M
2-18The Sandman Cometh
Sleeping Dogs Lie - But not to Hannah, who's been awake for ten days and will die if she doesn't sleep by the eleventh. Fortunately, Cameron is around to send us all into dreamland with her moral outrage over everything.
2006.04.172006.04.23 B+
Sara M
2-17Moby Sick
All In - When a boy has the same symptoms as a patient of House's who died before he could diagnose her twelve years ago, he goes into obsessed Captain Ahab mode and will stop at nothing to track down his White Whale disease during a Black Tie event.
2006.04.102006.04.16 B
Sara M
2-16Sex Kills, Again
Safe - For the fiftieth time on this show, someone has sex and almost dies. This time, it's a girl with ridiculously dangerous allergies and an "overprotective" mother who doesn't seem to do all that much to deserve her reputation. House and Wilson live together and engage in a prank war, although it's really just House pulling the pranks and they all backfire on him anyway, leaving his dishes undone and his couch filled with pee.
2006.04.032006.04.09 C+
Sara M
2-15AU, Stop Poisoning Me With Gold
Clueless - Having hit many obstacles in this week's medical caper, House suggests looking deep inside a woman to see if she's poisoning her husband to death. And if that's the only way House can think of to score a little honey, he's officially been shacking up with a dude for too long.
2006.03.272006.03.30 B
Djb
2-14This Show Is Written By Puritans
Sex Kills - Everyone cheats on his or her spouse and pays for that sin with some bad-cheese-related heart failure, gonorrhea-related fatal car accidents, and, worst of all, having to move in with House. The only person who isn't having sex is a guy who really, really wants to have sex with his hot mom.
2006.03.062006.03.12 C+
Sara M
2-13Skin Is Deep, Balls Are Deeper
Skin Deep - House suffers from leg pain as he tries to treat a young female supermodel who's not very super or very female after all.
2006.02.192006.02.25 B+
Sara M
2-12ATV And LSD
Distractions - When he isn't getting revenge on a med-school classmate by giving himself the Worst Migraine Ever, doing LSD, and calling a hooker over to his apartment, House treats a kid with a brain disorder that gives him orgasms and fiery ATV crashes.
2006.02.132006.02.19 C
Sara M
2-11Need To Go
Need To Know - Stacy and House finally have sex, and then he dumps her for good. Hooray! The patient of the week would rather give herself all kinds of medical problems than tell her extremely stupid husband the truth. She gets cured, but doesn't learn her lesson.
2006.02.062006.02.12 C+
Sara M
2-10Failure To Scintillate
Failure To Communicate - A series of rather ridiculous plot contrivances bring us a reporter who's lost the ability to speak or write, House stranded at an airport with Stacy and her insatiable hunger for curry, the Cottages running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to figure out what's wrong with their patients and missing the most obvious of clues, and Wilson and Cuddy not having much to do at all.
2006.01.092006.01.16 C-
Sara M
2-9Decepticon
Deception - Patient Anica is more than meets the eye: her symptoms indicate Cushing's, but there's no cortisol-secreting tumor in sight. Cameron tries to transform into someone cool and smart, with good results, while Foreman tries to transform into an administrator, with bad results. Optimus Prime does not appear in this episode.
2005.12.122005.12.18 B
Sara M
2-8Unhappy Accident
The Mistake - Chase and House have to go in front of a peer review committee to determine whether Chase made a mistake that ultimately led to a woman's death, and we all go on a journey through the organ black market, living donor transplants, awesome continuity, elementary school talent shows, and, of course, seemingly endless discussions about Stacy and House's non-relationship.
2005.11.282005.12.04 B
Sara M
2-7Hunting For Ratings
Hunting - If you like House the Jerk, then you'll love the manipulative bastard he truly becomes in this episode as he attacks his patient's father with his cane (and with a few allegations that the guy's dead wife was sleeping around), and uses the information from Stacy's purloined therapy files to make himself look charming and thoughtful to either get her fired or win her back or both! As an added bonus, you also get to watch the similarly unlikable actions taken by his meth-using and co-worker-on-drugs-doing staff! And if you like Cuddy or Foreman, you'll be disappointed. Again.
2005.11.212005.11.27 C
Sara M
2-6Cheaters Never Win (Except For Sometimes)
Spin - When House and his team treat a cyclist who admits to illegally enhancing his biking performance, their own cheating ways come to light: Wilson cheats on his wives, House cheats to get secret information about Stacy, and Cameron thought about cheating once, but was too saintly to actually go through with it, making her especially resentful of those who do and get away with it. Oddly, she has no problem leaking confidential patient information to the press and framing the morgue for it.
2005.11.142005.11.20 B+
Sara M
2-5Shock And Aww
Daddy's Boy - A Princeton almost-grad has shock-like symptoms, sphincter paralysis, and a dead mother his well-meaning father lied about. House tries to avoid seeing his visiting parents, because he hates his truth-telling military father. His mother, on the other hand, is surprisingly sweet and nice and tells House he's perfect.
2005.11.072005.11.13 B
Sara M
2-4That Isn't The Question
TB Or Not TB - Because we know Dr. Sebastian "Africa-Saver" Charles has TB. We just don't know what's really killing him, why House hates people who do nice things, or whether Cameron will ever be attracted to a man who isn't about to die.
2005.10.312005.11.06 C
Sara M
2-3All The King's Houses
Humpty Dumpty - Cuddy's hot Latino handyman falls off her roof, and his fingers turn black, bringing House and his team onto the case, along with a whole lotta "did they or didn't they?" questions about Cuddy and House's history. By the end, the handyman loses a hand before House figures out what's wrong with him, but we never figure out whether House and Cuddy did it.
2005.09.262005.10.02 B
Sara M
2-2Crossing The Line
Autopsy - House crosses the line from likable curmudgeon to mean SOB. Cameron crosses the line from annoyingly over-emotional and useless character to confident and capable doctor. Chase straddles the line between sweet guy and creepy pedophile. And patient Andie goes back and forth between life and death.
2005.09.192005.09.25 C+
Sara M
2-1Doin' It And Doin' It And Doin' It Well
Acceptance - LL Cool J guest stars as a Death Row inmate with a Mysterious Illness. House cures him because he does his job well, even if it does involve getting wasted and hacking into the hospital computer's mainframe. Cameron refuses to tell her patient that she has terminal lung cancer, because she doesn't do her job well at all. Also, Foreman is black.
2005.09.122005.09.18 C+
Sara M
1-22We'll Never Have Paris
Honeymoon - At Stacy's request, House treats Stacy's husband, whose Mystery Disease is so mysterious that no one, including the husband himself, thinks there's actually anything wrong with him. And yet, he's subjected to a barrage of expensive and painful tests and surgeries, because Stacy always gets what Stacy wants. House, on the other hand, can only try sometimes and get what he needs. And that is drugs.
2005.05.232005.09.06 B
Sara M
1-21Something For Everyone
Three Stories - House gives a diagnostic-medicine lecture about three patients with leg pain that manages to include Carmen Electra, young ladies playing volleyball, lots of Cuddy being awesome, a shot of House's bare chest, and a cute puppy. Everyone should walk away happy. Unless, of course, your significant other had your thigh muscles cut up against your express wishes. Then you'll have to limp. Sadly.
2005.05.162005.08.31 A
Sara M
1-20Hurts So Good
Love Hurts - House tends to two couples whose relationships may be fraught with physical pain, including vaginal tearing and strangulation-induced strokes, but they still manage to look like more fun that House and Cameron's date, which, hopefully, won't be repeated.
2005.05.092005.08.28 C+
Sara M
1-19Moral Morales
Kids - Ladies, there'll be hell to pay if you don't act right! 'Cause if you have underaged, unmarried sex or wear the wrong clothes or shoes to work, you'll either get pregnant and almost die, be a source of amusement for male co-workers, or your shallow, insecure ass won't get hired! Good thing we have Upstanding Citizen Cameron in this world to show us how to blackmail your boss into taking you out on a date.
2005.05.022005.08.25 B-
Sara M
1-18Cameron-Free is the Way to Be!
Babies & Bathwater - Cameron does not appear in this episode, meaning that Wilson and Cuddy get lots of stuff to do, and it's Vogler's swan song. It's truly great TV. Sara M doesn't think that's a coincidence.
2005.04.182005.08.23 A
Sara M
1-17Know Your Role
Role Model - Vogler's is still the irredeemable Bad Guy. Cameron's is still the girl who can't deal with her schoolgirl crush like a normal person. The A-plot patient, a senator and presidential hopeful who refuses to believe he has AIDS even after testing positive for it, is to show House that winning isn't everything. And the B-plot patient's is to show us all how multitasking can help us make the most of our nights.
2005.04.112005.08.18 C-
Sara M
1-16A Bevy Of Heavy
Heavy - A girl whose heaviness precludes her from having any friends has a heart attack, and then her skin starts to die. Was it caused by diet pills and Cameron's bumbling, or something else? Does a proud, if heavy clinic patient have natural curves, or something else? And could those "Vogler is evil!" anvils be any heavier?
2005.03.282005.08.14 D+
Sara M
1-15Brothers In Harms
Mob Rules - A mobster threatens House and slaps Chase when his brother's secret homosexuality puts him in a coma. Down in the Clinic, another set of brothers make return visits because the older brother can't watch his baby brother well enough to prevent him from sticking things up his nose. And Vogler tries to fire House, but Cuddy bargains him down to letting one of the Cottages go.
2005.03.212005.08.10 C
Sara M
1-14Women Have No Control
Control - Especially if their names begin with "C." Cuddy, Cameron, and Patient of the Week Carly all try to maintain, or in Cameron's case, create, their positions of power. And all of them are toppled by men, or in Carly's case, a bulimia-caused heart failure. Also, Chase screws up an angiogram due to the presence of a female. Why do we even let women have jobs?
2005.03.142005.08.07 C
Sara M
1-13Right And Wrong
Cursed - House plays Chase and his father against each other to satisfy his curiosity about their relationship, and also because he might -- just might -- care. Both Chase men end up being right and wrong about their diagnoses of a young boy whose hero-worship of his dad is about to crumble like a leper's face -- a metaphor that is also both right and wrong.
2005.02.282005.08.04 B+
Sara M
1-12Water Sports
Sports Medicine - A baseball player's arm breaks due to his having unusually thin bones because of a Mysterious Disease. It looks like the only cure for what ails him is a kidney transplant that will also mean the death of his unborn child. Fortunately, he pees on House and that makes everyone happy.
2005.02.212005.08.01 B-
Sara M
1-10Herstories
Histories - Two women have questionable medical histories due to eating disorder-related amnesia or guilt-related homelessness. Foreman makes his personal feelings about the homeless known to all, while Wilson makes his known only to House.
2005.02.072005.07.29 B+
Sara M
1-9Tenacious G
DNR - Nor ALS diagnosis, nor signed DNR, nor restraining order can keep House from giving a trumpet player an unsolicited second opinion.
2005.01.312005.07.23 B
Sara M
1-8Oedipus Complex
Poison - The dynamic relationships of mothers and sons weave throughout this episode's A and B cases, the former being a dying teen whose mother clashes with everyone on staff, and the latter being an insufferable adult who dismisses his elderly mother's newfound love of Ashton Kutcher, and then House, as nothing to worry about when she actually has syphilitic brain damage.
2005.01.242005.07.17 B-
Sara M
1-7Low Fidelity
Fidelity - A wife has African Sleeping Sickness, but the only way she could have gotten it was if she or her seemingly devoted husband cheated. The doctors can't treat her until the guilty party fesses up, but no one's talking, except Cameron and her Issues.
2004.12.272005.07.13 C+
Sara M
1-6Pennies From Hell
The Socratic Method - If you aren't convinced that copper is the work of the devil after this episode, you never will be. The mother of Friedman from Joan of Arcadia is schizophrenic and bleeds a lot. By finding out that she has liver cancer, House is able to determine that she's not crazy -- she just has too much copper in her body. There's some stuff about Socrates too, but you'd be better off reading the original.
2004.12.202005.07.10 C+
Couch Baron
1-5Lord, Have Mercy!
Damned If You Do - Because after a nun has been through several treatments from House, she surely needs it. A horribly bewigged Elizabeth Mitchell plays a nun who comes to House to cure her mysterious allergic reaction. He does, via dipping her toes in the river Styx several times. But he just can't kill her on Christmas. Joy to the world!
2004.12.132005.07.05 B
Couch Baron
1-4Maybe Dead Baby
Maternity - House sentences a baby to death in order to find out what is infecting five others, and yet Cameron and her Issues manage to come off the worst.
2004.12.062005.07.01 B+
Sara M
1-3The Simplest Explanation...
Occam's Razor - ...is don't trust your pharmacist, because he'll try to kill you. House will too, but at least he'll save your life in the end.
2004.11.292005.06.26 B-
Sara M
1-2Re: Lax
Paternity - A high-school lacrosse player's night terrors and double vision indicates that he has Multiple Sclerosis. So, of course, he doesn't.
2004.11.222005.06.19 B
Sara M
1-1Cane And Able
Pilot - Meet Dr. House, a cane-wielding infectious-disease doctor who refuses to do his job and eats Vicodins like candy. If you're a patient, he won't see you. But if you're a hot girl, a black criminal, or an over-privileged white guy, he'll let you work for him. And if you're Robert Sean Leonard, he might even be a little bit nice to you.
2004.11.152005.06.13 B
Sara M
1-11No Pain, No Gain
Detox - When Cuddy dares him to go off the Vicodin for a week, and dangles a month of no clinic duty in front of him as incentive, House detoxes -- and biffs a diagnosis. Or does he? Because he says he's fine. Also, it's an Election/Mean Girls reunion.
2005.02.142005.06.08 B-
Sars