By Sara M
Foreman searches for redemption this week -- or at least a different way of treating patients so they don't end up dead -- and his first patient is Matty, the younger brother of a kid with cancer who needs Matty's bone marrow in the five days or he'll die. Unfortunately, Matty gets an infection right before the transplant is to take place, rendering his bone marrow useless unless House and team can figure out what's wrong and cure him. They decide the best way to do this is to make Matty worse so his infection will be easier to identify. Sure enough, Matty gets worse. But they can't identify the infection, and Foreman chickens out and tells the parents about a partial donor match he found in the registry. The parents decide to go with the partial donor match even though the chances of the cancer kid rejecting that match and dying in horrible agony are pretty high. The cancer kid gets the bone marrow and his body starts rejecting it. Figuring he's going to die anyway, House wants to give him Matty's infection. The infection will flourish in the cancer kid's non-existent immune system, and hopefully that will be enough to let them identify the infection in time to save Matty. Otherwise, both brothers will die. The parents refuse to agree to a procedure that is certain to kill their cancer kid, who they totally love more than Matty and it's so obvious, forcing Foreman to get over himself and go back to the medicine he used to do. With Wilson's help, he figures out what's wrong with Matty -- a fungal infection caused by chicken crap in his backyard dirt, just when you thought it was safe to play outside -- and then ties the kid down and sucks out his bone marrow until he gets enough to give to his brother. Matty screams in the agony of having bone marrow removed with no sedation, and we have to watch. But in the end, Foreman saves Matty and his brother. He's not happy that he had to "turn into" House to do it, though, so he quits. Meanwhile, House spends the episode trying to kill his new dog accidentally on purpose. In one week, he manages to give the dog a limp and a Vicodin addiction. House also gets a new cane with flames on it and a tiny speaker that apparently blares AC/DC wherever he goes. And he'll need that speaker, since karma stole his stereo. It takes a special show to feature characters who torture dogs and children and make you actually like them. This is still that show.
A ten-year-old boy, who we'll later find out is named Matty, gets ready to see his fourteen-year-old brother, Nick, in a clean (as in, germ-free, although I'd assume it's neat as well) room at PPTH. Nick is in there because he has cancer and his bone marrow has been irradiated away in preparation for a donation from his younger brother. Nick is looking pretty sick indeed, his face pale and all of his hair gone. I wonder if the actor had to shave off his eyebrows for this role. That's scary -- they don't always grow back! But danger is on the horizon, as we see that Wilson is in the room, too. Whenever Wilson's around, trouble follows. Usually caused by his ineptitude. He guides Matty to his own hospital room and prepares him for the marrow donation, expositing that baseball player Matty had to miss some of his games in order to make sure he wouldn't be exposed to anything that would compromise the health of his marrow. Just as Wilson is finished saying all this, Matty sneezes in a moment that's very similar to the time in the Scooby-Doo cartoons when Shaggy and Scooby are hiding from some ghost and then Shaggy is about to sneeze and give away their position. He struggles to contain the sneeze, and then, just when it looks like the urge to sneeze has passed, he sneezes, right when The Old Caretaker in a ghost costume is walking by! This usually touches off a chase through several rooms in a long hallway, Velma inevitably loses her glasses, and Daphne and Fred have no character development, all of which is occasionally accompanied by a groovy song. I think it's safe to say none of those things will happen in this episode. Which is a shame.
Speaking of lovable dogs, House gets a rude awakening from his new pet Hector, who is a cute little West Highland White Terrier (I think...if it's not, then it looks a lot like one). Hector barks House awake and proudly shows off all of House's stuff he's chewed up -- including House's cane. Ha ha ha!
At PPTH, Wilson informs the crew that they have to diagnose and treat Matty and clear up his bone marrow in the five days or his brother dies. Cameron thinks that they should give up on Matty and look for another marrow donor, but Wilson says that the kid is black, and therefore it will be almost impossible to get a match. House agrees; he can't get his black employee to match being at work on time.
Actually, Foreman is at PPTH, just not in the meeting room. He's in the chapel. I guess that's like a time-out chair for adults when they do something wrong. Like kill a woman. By the way, I don't trust Foreman's issues carrying over from the last episode since last season when he almost freaking died and had a risky brain biopsy and the only fallout was one episode where Foreman was cheerful and couldn't tell his left foot from his right. House makes everything better by bursting in and saying that Wilson is about to kill a kid the same way Foreman did. What are the odds? At PPTH, they're actually pretty good. Meanwhile, everyone else in the chapel quickly leaves. Now bored with his case, House changes the subject and asks Wilson how old Hector is, and Wilson answers that Hector is seventeen. I hope that Wilson and Bonnie got Hector as an adult dog on their honeymoon; otherwise, that would make Wilson a very young second-time groom. Unless Wilson's actually seventy but just looks younger. He certainly acts like it sometimes. House grumps that Hector should be dead of old age by now. Really? I never had a cat or dog for a pet growing up since my dad was allergic to them, but everyone who lived on my street who had cats or dogs had them for about twenty years. I think Patches the Cat lived to be twenty-two, and Max the German Shepherd was twenty-one. The only pet who didn't live that long was Muffy, but that was only because she was hit by a car and then ran under my dad's car in the driveway and died under it, thereby totally framing my dad for her murder and causing bad relations between us and the rest of the street.
Anyway, Foreman decides to be a doctor again and tells House to stop wasting time talking about a dog and start testing Matty for everything they can. House says that their patient isn't sick enough yet for them to be able to do that; he doesn't have enough germs to show up on the tests, and he isn't sick enough for them to get an idea of what's wrong with him so they can figure out which tests to do. House figures that their only choice if they want to figure out what's wrong with and cure Matty in time to save his brother is to make him sicker. Well, I am impressed -- it usually takes this show a good thirty minutes before we hit the "make you sicker to make you better" mark, but this time it's only been like five minutes. Foreman doesn't think intentionally making a child sick is a good idea, and would rather check Matty's house for "sources of infection," which he says is a "safer choice." Not if he gets caught breaking into Matty's house, it isn't! But Foreman's all about safety now that it's too late for Lupe. Much to Cameron and Chase's apparent surprise, House grants Foreman's wish to check the house.
Wilson goes to get Matty's parents' consent, explaining that they'll be removing Matty's white blood cells and doing other unpleasant things to weaken his immune system and make him sicker. House makes his usual asshole comments, but it somehow works. Better than Wilson's wishy-washy "this is your family, it needs to be your decision" crap does, anyway.
And House disapproves of Wilson's behavior as soon as they leave the parents. House thinks that Wilson should order his patients and their families around and twist their arms into agreeing to the decision he feels is correct. Wilson says that his patients are with him for a lot longer than House's, so they need to trust him. You mean like they trusted Wilson to destroy Nick's immune system? Yeah, that's worked out well so far. House only thinks getting a patient's trust is useful if you can use it to order him around and twist his arm into agreeing to the decision you feel is correct.
Foreman and Chase check out Matty and Nick's backyard. Chase obviously doesn't think this is doing any good, so he steps up on Matty's makeshift pitcher's mound and starts throwing baseballs at a backstop while he asks Foreman how he's doing with the whole dead-patient thing. Foreman says that Lupe's grandparents weren't "close" to her, so it's unlikely that there will be a lawsuit. Lupe's grandparents may not have been close to Lupe, but I'd bet they're well-acquainted with money and getting a lot of it, so don't be so sure about that, Foreman. Chase says that's good for Foreman because it should make it easier for him to put it all behind him. Foreman asks if Chase has put his dead patient behind him yet. "No," Chase says softly, tossing a baseball to Foreman. But Foreman's too troubled about the fact that he can't remember what Lupe was wearing when she was admitted to throw it. I remember one thing she was wearing -- the BRA OF DEATH DEATH DEAAATH. What's Victoria's Secret? Staphylococcus aureus. Foreman doesn't think he should be able to forget Lupe that easily. Maybe inappropriate forgetfulness runs in his family. Chase says that he only wishes he could forget his mistake. Foreman says that Chase's mistake was an understandable human error; Foreman's was a calculated decision. "I acted like...House," he says. And then he throws the baseball like a girl, not even hitting the backstop. When an Australian with pretty blond hair can throw a baseball better than you, Foreman, you know you're troubled. Chase and Foreman go back to checking the yard out. While Foreman wonders whether there are toxins in the dirt of the pitcher's mound, Chase finds a random water pump behind some bushes. I know I'm often finding old water pumps in strange places, so that's not unusual whatsoever.
Matty undergoes being made really cold. He complains to his mother that he's freezing, but she doesn't care. Meanwhile, Nick's every need is no doubt being taken care of. Chase and Foreman enter to ask Matty if he's ever taken a drink from the water pump. Matty says he has, and that the water was "really gross"...but that was all the way back last summer, so it's not relevant now. Matty reports that his arm is sore, but Chase and Foreman think it's just a muscle strain from pitching practice. Matty has another problem to report, but he wants his mother to leave the room before he does it. And, presumably, the female nurse throwing ice water on him will have to leave, too.
Foreman tells House what's up: Matty has "acute scrotum." House, of course, makes the necessary joke about cute scrotums, then says big balls (acute scrotum is described as a painful swelling of the scrotum "or its contents," which doesn't sound like fun at all) are a good symptom because relatively few infections cause them. House pauses to give the male audience time to breathe a collective sigh of relief, then tells Foreman to get cracking with a bunch of tests. Foreman asks if Chase and Cameron can do them instead while he checks the marrow donor registry for an alternate donor in case their plan fails and Matty can't donate the bone marrow. Surprisingly, House agrees.
Cameron and Chase do the tests, although not without whining from Cameron about how House is giving Foreman a break and waah waah wahhhh it's not fair. Chase changes the subject to the fact that today is Tuesday, which means he's telling her that he likes her and wants them to be together. "Thank you. I'd forgotten," Cameron replies coldly. Oh, go die alone, Cameron. How can you resist that? And even if you can, why resist so angrily? I guess I wouldn't mind it so much if she hadn't been so cruel to him the first time he said he had feelings for her. It's not like she was ever nice to him about it and is only now being mean because she's sick of his persistence. The thought of Chase having feelings for her has always made Cameron ridiculously angry. Chase goes back to work, but Cameron would rather yell at him for being adorable than help save a child's life. So, while Chase wonders if they should be looking for an infection that caused something that caused the scrotum issue as opposed to searching for an infection that caused the scrotum issue, Cameron keeps bringing his Tuesday reminder thing up. Then Chase notes that the CK-MB levels in Matty's blood are up, indicating a possible heart infection.
Sure enough, they find an infectious growth in Matty's heart. Cameron says that it'll take a month of antibiotics to clear it up. Nick doesn't have nearly that long.
But House is pleased with this new bit of news, as he figures they can just remove Matty's infected mitral valve, grab his bone marrow, and "marinate" it in the appropriate antibiotics, and then it'll be all ready to go for Nick. When Wilson entertains the suggestion of performing unnecessary open-heart surgery on a child, Foreman announces his intention to tell on House to Cuddy. House tells him to go right ahead. I'm surprised that Cameron isn't already there.
Wilson and Foreman go before Cuddy and argue their case while House sits on a couch and reads magazines. Foreman doesn't think they're acting in Matty's best interests, while Wilson thinks that saving Nick is more important than that, because no one likes Matty and they all love Nick. Cuddy stupidly asks House if he has anything to add to the discussion, so he says, "Wilson's right, Foreman's wrong, and your shirt is way too revealing for the office." Although really, considering some other shirts she's worn, this one isn't too bad. I think the root of the problem lies in the magazine House is perusing: Sewing Notions. Maybe Cuddy sews all her shirts herself, but she either isn't a very good or patient seamstress so she always ends up with those half-shirts and half-blazers that are way too tight. Cuddy asks Foreman what he thinks they should do, and he says they should have Child Services appoint a guardian who can act in Matty's best interests without the conflict of interest his parents have. "No," Cuddy immediately says. She tells Wilson to ask the parents what they want to do and not let House bully them into a certain decision. Yeah, right. Foreman and Wilson leave, and Cuddy asks House why he wasted her time with this exercise when he must have known she would turn down Foreman's suggestion, because even Cuddy apparently hates Matty. House says he's trying to cut Foreman "some slack." Cuddy is surprised by this apparent kindness from House. He says he thinks Foreman has a case of the "yips," which I've heard of in reference to golfing. You make one mistake, miss one easy putt, and then you can't sink any easy putts because you've psyched yourself out and your arm will actually jerk while you're putting and make you miss the shot. You suck for years until you only get better because there's nothing left to lose. Obviously, you can't afford to get that bad if you're in the business of saving people's lives. House is generously going to give Foreman four days to recover. After that, "he's fired."
Wilson talks to the parents. He tells them that a mitral valve replacement will mean that Matty can't play contact sports like baseball and will be on blood thinners for the rest of his life. But their darling Nick will survive, and that's all that matters. Mom asks if a different donor match is possible, and House says it's just as possible that said donor will ride into PPTH on a unicorn. Distressed as Mom is, she still shoots House the perfect "what is your fucking problem?" look that House gets at least once an episode. As the dad sees it, their choice is to either "cripple one son or kill the other." House gets all hot and bothered and says that not being able to play baseball doesn't make you a cripple. You have to lose leg muscle and be an asshole to fully realize that dream, I guess. And it's not like Matty just can't play baseball; he will be missing a part of his heart for the rest of his life. The dad asks Wilson what they should do. This time, Wilson makes a decision and tells him to "protect your family as a whole. You should do the surgery." What about what Matty wants? Or Nick? Yes, they're children and don't have any legal right to make the decision, but they should at least be consulted about it.
House is thrilled with Wilson for making a decision for the family. Wilson isn't quite so happy; he thinks he bullied the family and didn't let them make their own decision. House thinks that Wilson only wants the family to make the hard decisions because it lessens his own guilt if the wrong one is made. Wilson says that by House's logic, "a sociopath would make the best patient advocate in the world." House is like, "Have you met me?"
Cameron comes to take Matty to surgery. He's visiting with Nick, who thanks him, as if that's enough. What Matty is doing at least worth a thank-you card , so I hope he'll go to work on one once the cancer is gone. Matty says that Nick would do the same thing for him. I'm glad someone would, as it's clear that Matty's parents won't do shit for him. Case in point: on his way out, Matty asks his parents if he'll be better in time to pitch in the playoffs. "Maybe season," Mom says. Wow. They didn't tell him that he wouldn't be able play baseball anymore. They suck. I mean, did they really think Matty would refuse to have the surgery done because he'd rather play baseball than save his brother's life? Please. Let's give a ten-year-old a little more credit. And do they really think Matty won't have a problem with the fact that his parents sent him off to surgery without telling him the entire truth? Ah, well, they'll be plenty sorry for it now, as they have the misfortune of having Cameron in earshot after Matty leaves and they talk about how they didn't tell Matty about the baseball thing because the mom didn't think he'd agree to the surgery if he knew. Shockingly, Cameron puts her two cents in (even though no one asked for it) and says that they did the right thing by keeping that information from their son, so there will be no lecture forthcoming from her. Cameron, you disappoint me. Mom goes to check on the son she obviously loves more.
The surgeons prepare to change Matty's life as he knows it without forewarning him. Since we aren't even halfway into the episode yet and Wilson, the Angel Of Death, is lurking around the operating room, I have a very bad feeling about this.
Who watches curling on television? House does, although he's understandably fallen asleep from boredom when his phone rings and wakes him up. It's Wilson, who says they didn't remove Matty's mitral valve during the operation after all; they did a biopsy on the heart growth first and found out that it wasn't infectious tissue. I still don't understand why no one on this show can properly identify a mass. They are always thinking it's one thing when it's actually something else. How can they have the technology and ability and know-how to operate on a fetus while it's inside the womb and still not know if a spot on an MRI is cancer or pus? "Oh, god," House says. He's not horrified at the thought of almost ruining Matty's life for no reason, though: he's just realized that Hector got into his Vicodin and is lying on the floor looking dead. I guess it's a good thing Wilson didn't take that dog in after all, since we all know he would have left Hector there to die. House pokes the dog with his cane and is clearly disappointed to find him alive but strung out on Vicodin. My friends' dog ate part of a Sudafed once and was in doggy ICU for days. Hector must have quite a tolerance there.
House returns to work and asks for a differential diagnosis on fibrous tissue growth in the heart. Cameron comes up with an autoimmune disorder, which pleases Wilson greatly, as it would mean Matty's bone marrow was healthy and donatable. You know who probably won't be as pleased? Matty. But no one cares about him. House starts giving orders to test the most likely autoimmune disorders until Foreman interrupts, saying he doesn't think they should rule out an infection just yet. House doesn't want to deal with that, because an autoimmune disorder would mean a good outcome for Nick. Foreman finds it hard to believe that the family has one son with cancer and another with an autoimmune disorder. House says that "it sucks for them" is not a good argument. Foreman wants to check out a close match he found in the bone marrow registry. It's not an exact match like Matty is, but Foreman thinks it'll be close enough. House doesn't want to risk giving precious Nick graft-versus-host disease, and he overrules Foreman and tells the Cottages to go look for an autoimmune disease.
Cameron goes to work taking blood from Matty to test, and Matty sure is looking healthy after having an open-heart procedure done. She tells the parents, who are starting to lose faith in PPTH (finally), that the tests will only take a few hours to do. Meanwhile, Nick has bruises all over his arms.
House and Wilson make their way out of PPTH. House invites Wilson out to the movies, but Wilson is more concerned with his suspicions that Hector's overdose wasn't accidental. House denies this, and karma bites him in the ass when his cane snaps and he falls on the floor. Wilson delightedly says that it wasn't his fault this time, and House says it's the dog's. He chews everything, and House thinks he's had a "good, long life" and it's his time to go. That seems to be the way Matty's parents feel about Matty, too. Cameron's House-is-hurt-alert has gone off, and she rushes to the scene and asks if he's okay. House says that he tripped over Wilson's self-righteousness as Chase offers him a hand up, which he refuses to take. Why does Chase even try anymore? Cameron reports that the autoimmune tests were negative, and Nick's capillaries are starting to leak blood. If that happens in his brain, he'll die. Cameron thinks it's time to check out the close match Foreman found. House still refuses.
But Foreman's already telling Matty's parents about the donor and they are very happy with the news.
After the commercial, Wilson and House are recommending against the partial match donor to the parents, who must be so confused by now. House says that the pain Nick will endure from graft-versus-host disease will be horrible. The parents say that they understand that, but they'd rather have their son be in pain than dead. Unless it's Matty, in which case they'd prefer both. They ask Wilson how long they're supposed to wait for House to figure out and cure whatever's wrong with Matty, since Nick's brain could start bleeding any second. Wilson has to admit that he doesn't know how long it will take them, and the dad insists on the partial-match transplant. Oh, and giving Matty antibiotics to make him healthy again. If they have the time.
Afterwards, Wilson grumps that Foreman screwed them with Matty's parents. To his surprise, House actually blames Wilson for not using the parents' trust in him to manipulate them. "Foreman did what he thought was right. You, on the other hand, sucked out!" House yells at Wilson. "When the decision really mattered, you didn't have the guts to tell them what to do. If that kid dies, it's because Foreman was wrong AND because you're a coward." Wow, that came out of nowhere. Wilson can't believe it. He stands there with his jaw hanging open, fighting back tears, while House walks away.
The Magic Schoolbus Cam shows up for the bone marrow transplant sequence. Foreman is the one performing the operation, which makes perfect sense, since he's a neurologist.
House comes home and finds his front door open. "Oh, goodness! I left my door open! My poor dog must've run away and been hit by a car or a truck or a train!" And then, because he apparently live in Looney Tunes land, he adds, "Or an anvil!" I love that House felt the need to say all this out loud, just in case anyone was there to hear him. But I'm even more in love with the fact that Hector is still there, eating something of House's that probably cost a ton. House's stereo, on the other hand, is not in love with Hector. Ha ha ha! That's what you get for trying to kill a cute dog instead of trying to, like, train it. It would've been pretty great, though, if House had come back and everything in his apartment was gone except the dog. He got off pretty easy losing just the stereo. House slams the door shut using that horrible geriatric cane with the little feet on the bottom that he's been reduced to using since his regular cane broke. House walks to the bathroom and closes the door behind him. We hear Hector whine from being hit in the face with a door. House smiles. I guess since he didn't intend to hit the dog that time, House isn't a totally irredeemable animal abuser.
Cameron goes to check on Matty, who finds it odd that they don't know what's wrong with him, but he'll be fine. They do know what's wrong with Nick, and he's going to die. And Matty can't even go in to see Nick on what he's sure is his brother's deathbed, no matter how many times Cameron tries to convince him that Nick will be okay. I wouldn't believe her either. Hell, I wouldn't believe anyone at a hospital that thought that making me sicker was a great idea and then almost took one of my heart valves out for no reason. Matty complains that his ear is itching. Cameron checks it out and finds blood dripping out of it. Well, that's just great.
House meets Wilson in some kind of weird antique shop. House is careful to stick a Holmes-esque pipe in his mouth for a second just to get all the Holmes-is-House people scribbling furiously in their notebooks. Wilson asks House why House said to meet him here. House says that he wants a new cane, and he thinks that Wilson should pay for it, since it was his dog who chewed up the old one. Wilson reminds House that House yelled at him and called him a coward and hurt his widdle feewings. And you know why he did that, Wilson? Because he can. He can say mean things to you and make you feel like shit, and then when he wants a favor from you, you do it. Every. Time. It's only when Wilson is pretending to head out of the shop that House apologizes, and only because he wants the free cane. Wilson chooses to believe that House is sincere, though. House takes a call from Cameron saying that Matty is bleeding out of his ears, then goes back to shopping. Because why try to help Matty when there are items to purchase? House tells Wilson that he buys his canes here because they have "bitchin' choices." A clerk finally decides to do his job and comes out to the floor to show House the very bitchin'est of canes. The first one has a skull on it. House rejects it, saying it's "a little too 'Marilyn Manson in a retirement home.'" Isn't Marilyn Manson already in a retirement home? House likes the second choice until he finds out it's made of bull penises. "Penis canes are murder," House says, handing it back. Okay, why isn't that on a T-shirt right now? While House waits for the cute clerk to bring him a third choice, he tells Wilson that Matty might be the one who dies now if they can't figure out what's wrong with him. But who cares about Matty when AC/DC chords greet the third cane, which House pronounces is properly bitchin'?
Oh my god, they did not. They did! The AC/DC continues into the scene, were we get a slow motion shot of House and Wilson's feet as they exit the elevator and House shows off his hot new cane, which has little flames on the base. Really, it's not even that bitchin'. But that montage certainly was! He enters the meeting room, and all the Cottages react to the new cane. It's ridiculously overdone. I love it so. It really doesn't matter what this episode does now: kill the kids, kill the dogs, whatever. That scene will redeem anything.
When Cameron finishes stating the obvious ("Flames," she says, looking at House's cane), Chase reports that Nick is not doing well at all. The drugs aren't treating the graft-versus-host disease. Foreman says that he thinks he did the right thing. House doesn't care about Nick the Goner anymore and moves on to someone they can help. Chase says that they took Matty off the meds, but his blood count is still tanking. Cameron says that Matty's blood will "literally" turn into water if they can't stop his blood count from lowering. There are sad faces all around. House says that they won't be able to diagnose Matty's infection in time now that he's been given antibiotics. And if they can't diagnose it, then they can't cure it. So it's curtains for Matty as well as Nick. Which kid you do think will get the bigger tombstone from his parents? But House gets an idea: they can expose Nick to Matty's infection. Nick will die, of course, but not before the infection quickly spreads through his immune system-less body. Quickly enough, House hopes, that they'll be able to identify the infection and save Matty from it. This...is a terrible idea. But even Foreman can't think of any other way.
So now Wilson has to tell the parents the new plan. If I were them, I just wouldn't let Wilson into the room anymore. They quickly figure out that they're being asked to kill one son to save the other, and they're not happy. Wilson and House have to inform them that Nick has no chance, since the graft-versus-host disease isn't responding to treatment. It's really better to let Nick die, then, as I saw this happen on an episode of Star Trek: The Generation when Commander Riker had to host some parasite diplomat until its official host body arrived on the ship to take over. Before that was done, he had sex with Dr. Crusher. That's the kind of pain you never want to have to face. The parents still have hope that Nick will recover. House says that they can either have one dead son or two. "You should let us do this," Wilson says. Of all the things to start taking a stand on, deliberately infecting a kid with no immune system is quite a bold one. But now the parents are taking a stand, too. They won't give up on Nick. Because they love Nick. And they hate Matty. And more likely, because no parents could willingly do something that would kill their child, even if that child is going to die anyway.
House returns to the meeting room, where Foreman has hope that they can still save Matty. They'll just test for every infection and hope that they find it before time runs out. That sounds like a good plan to me -- why haven't they been doing that all this time? You can't test for an infection while you're sitting in the meeting room. Hop to it, guys! House says that the odds don't support them randomly finding the one infection out of thousands that could be killing Matty, but Foreman says it's better than standing around the meeting room doing nothing. The Cottages and Wilson agree, and they follow Foreman out. House takes a Vicodin and then stares directly at the camera. Don't look at me, man. I didn't think making Matty sick was a good idea in the first place.
House enters Nick's room, where he finds the kid moaning in pain with his dad at his side. Dad says Nick has "maxed out" on his pain meds, so House writes a prescription for more and sends Dad off to get it. Dad doesn't know any better than to leave House alone with his kid, so he goes. With him conveniently out of the way, House takes a seat by Nick and tells him that he's dying, no matter what. Of all the people to tell you you're dying, House has got to be the worst. Except for Season One Cameron, who won't tell you at all. House rubs it in that Nick is going to die without driving, drinking, or fucking. But, House says, Nick's life doesn't have to be meaningless. As he says in a close-up shot of House's mouth (WTF? I don't need to be that close), Nick can save his brother's life.
Wilson and Foreman run tests. Wilson moans that House said he was timid. Just so Foreman doesn't feel superior, Wilson adds that House is going to fire Foreman. How does Wilson know that? Did Cuddy tell him? She's the only one we've seen House tell. That wasn't cool of her. Or maybe Wilson just knows from experience that House will fire employees who waste time thinking of ways to save their patients that don't require a doubly unnecessary heart surgery. Foreman says that right now, he's not sure if he wants to be fired or not. Wilson says that if he cares, he'll fight to keep his job. If he doesn't, he'll quit. Duh, Wilson. And then Wilson points out something that I thought was odd from a while ago: what was a water pump doing in the New Jersey suburbs?
While Matty suffers all alone in his room, Nick tells his parents that he wants to die to save Matty. Obviously, his parents don't want this to happen. "It's time for me to go, Dad. You gotta let me go," he says. The parents fall apart. They love Nick so much more than Matty. Nick says if he saves Matty, they won't be alone. Yeah, they'll be stuck with the kid they hate like House is stuck with that dog.
Cuddy's leading Nick out of the clean room when Foreman rushes up and tells them to get him back in there; he's figured out what's wrong with Matty. He has histoplasmosis, a fungal infection from the chicken shit that he came into contact with when he was making a pitcher's mound in the backyard. You see, the neighborhood that Matty and Nick live in used to be a farm, as apparently indicated by the water pump. I guess we didn't see the sign on it that said "SPECIAL FARMER WATER PUMP FOR FARMS." The dirt Matty dug through was probably where a chicken coop used to be. And the fungus lived forever in there, waiting to be unearthed so it could kill some innocent child in an unfortunate series of events. Wow, even chicken shit hates Matty. Foreman says they can now treat Matty and he'll be fine. No one cares about Matty, though, and the parents immediately ask if they can clean Matty's marrow in time to give it to Nick. Cuddy has to tell them that the infection is attacking Matty's marrow, so there's no way Matty will have enough in him marrow in time to save Nick. Stupid dirty New Jersey. Honestly, between that cat lady who got poisoned from ancient shared pipes and Matty almost dying from old farm crap, I'm starting to think the homes of New Jersey are just full of secret hidden deathtraps.
Foreman treats Matty, who's all alone because his parents are with Nick. Foreman has a plan, though. He asks Matty if he's willing to risk his life for Nick the way Nick was going to for him. Of course, Matty says yes. Foreman says that he can't sedate Matty because he's "too sick," although not too sick enough to have his bone marrow removed in the first place. Foreman ties Matty down, and Matty's face of horror is pretty spot-on. If your doctor is tying you down before a procedure, you know things are going to be rough. Foreman sticks the giant-ass needle into Matty's leg bone and starts sucking out the marrow. Matty screams in pain and begs Foreman to stop, but Foreman says he's going to need "a lot more" from as many of Matty's bones as he can get. Oh my god. Even Liz Friedman, the writer of this episode, hates Matty.
Wilson reports to House's office and says that, magically, both Matty and Nick are recovering. I'm surprised Wilson didn't ride in on a unicorn to deliver such miraculous news. He's pretty sure that the parents are fine with Foreman torturing Matty since they hate Matty and want him to suffer and now they have their precious Nick back, too! House seems pleased with Foreman, and Wilson thinks House should tell Foreman that. House will not. He says Foreman's an adult and doesn't need the praise. Wilson asks if Hector's been murdered yet. House says he hasn't, and we see that Hector is in the office. Chewing on Wilson's microscope. Which I'm sure he just happened to find. Wilson says that Bonnie was able to stage a coup at her condo's homeowners' association meeting, and pets are now allowed in her complex. I am very angry that we had to see a child getting tortured instead of seeing that coup. House now has a chance to get rid of Hector, who is nursing a sore leg. "Accidents happen," House explains. How do you even continue speaking to a man who harms a seventeen-year-old dog? But Wilson does, because he's a sucker. House tosses Hector a Vicodin, and Wilson leaves with the dog. House heads out into the hall and watches them leave. Amazingly, they got the dog to turn his head and look back at House and...emote, almost. And even after that, I can't believe House doesn't call out to Wilson and get Hector back. Boooo!
Nick and Matty look much healthier and alive. Foreman watches them. House walks up and says he "did good." Foreman says he did what House would have done. He tortured a child. He knows what he did was "right," but he also hates that that was more important to him than listening to Matty scream in pain. Foreman doesn't want to be like House as a doctor or a human being. He'd rather save fewer people if it means he'll kill fewer, too. Yeah, like Foreman is ever saving people. Isn't it almost always Chase who saves the patients this season? Anyway, Foreman quits. It's not too late to go back for the dog, House.