A traveling rodeo comes to New Jersey, and Lane, a bullrider, comes to PPTH after spacing out and getting trampled by an opportunistic bull. Diagnosing him is tough, since his job has left him full of broken bones held together by un-scannable metal plates, rods and pins. Meanwhile, House is reacting to his breakup with Cuddy by staying at a really nice hotel and filling himself up with Vicodin and alcohol in between sessions with pricey hookers, and thus isn't always available when the Cottages need him. Wilson isn't available for any of his cancer patients, either, as he spends the episode fretting over House and running back and forth between House's hotel and Cuddy's office trying to find a way to make things better. House ultimately grows bored with the hookers and the Vicodin and reports to PPTH briefly to diagnose Lane with some kind of infection, but even that doesn't give him a rush, so he goes back to the hotel and jumps off his balcony as Wilson, just a minute too late, looks on and screams. But, of course, House is not jumping to his death but into a pool, which seems to give him whatever he was looking for at that moment. Basically, it's House's 15th downward spiral, and it's almost boring enough at this point to make you want to jump off a balcony into a pool.
Now that House and Cuddy have broken up, we can begin an episode with the soon-to-be patient instead of in Cuddy's bed. Hooray! In dramatic slow motion, a man prepares to ride a bull at the New Jersey rodeo. It's pretty cool. The rider and the bull are both released from the gate, and bounce around in alternating regular time and very very slow motion shots as the rider mentally counts off the seconds while telling himself what to do and how to stay on. After eight seconds, he jumps off and celebrates to an enthusiastic crowd. He tosses his helmet away prematurely, as it turns out, as the bull takes advantage of the opportunity to nail him and trample all over his body. The clowns get the bull back in the gate and ask the rider if he's okay. He says he is, aside from a bloody nose and having no idea what just happened.
House opens the door to his posh hotel room and tells Wilson that he's fine before Wilson even has a chance to ask the question House knows he's going to. He figures Cuddy told Wilson everything, and Wilson says she did, although she left out the part where House didn't just stop at one Vicodin, but took a whole bunch more and is still taking them. Like two, right now. House tosses the bottle into a bowl full of cash, and Wilson exposits that House also cleaned out his bank account and checked into this hotel, so clearly, he is not fine. House agrees that he isn't, but says Wilson doesn't need to worry about him. He assures Wilson that he will be fine very "soon." Also, he's only taking Vicodin because his leg hurts. Shockingly, Wilson isn't buying that, pointing out that House was off Vicodin for a year and a half despite any leg pain. House says it doesn't matter if his pain is mental or physical or both; he figures between the Vicodin and the five-star service at this hotel, he'll be able to get over Cuddy in a few days and back in an acceptable level of misery once again. He just hopes it doesn't cost him too much. Room service arrives with a deluxe breakfast for two delivered by Carnell, the hotel's only employee. House tests him by informing him he's planning to kill Wilson after they have sex. "I'll cancel the maid service," Carnell says brightly. House loves Carnell, and gives him a nice big tip. House treats himself to a strawberry and tells Wilson to eat while he can, as company will be arriving soon.
Cut to Wilson and House getting massages and Wilson saying that House may have this whole post-dumping misery thing figured out after all. He suggests that House "talk to someone" about his problems, too, and House says he's already taken care of that. Wilson assumes House means he'll be seeing his therapist again and is impressed and thrilled with House's maturity -- until he remembers that House's therapist has his own show on TNT now and so won't be guest-starring on House anymore, so House must have meant a hooker instead of a therapist.
Meanwhile, the Cottages have been left with the case of Lane the professional bullrider and his body, scans of which show the results of years of abuse. There are pins and plates all over him. That means no MRI (OF DOOOM!!) and probably no X-rays, either. Taub is just annoyed that House is faking sick because Cuddy dumped him, which is news to Martha. She's very upset on House's behalf. "Don't do that. Don't get sucked in," Taub warns. Martha says she can't help but feel bad for the guy who has made her life nothing but miserable. I don't understand her. Taub says he feels bad for House, but also expects him to act like an adult and come to work instead of holing himself up somewhere with alcohol, Vicodin, and hookers. Foreman and Chase have known House long enough not to expect this, and Chase has known Foreman long enough to know he only agreed to take this case on while House is gone for the chance to seize control temporarily. Martha innocently asks what Taub meant when he said House was taking Vicodin, and Chase makes fun of her for having no friends and thus never hearing through the PPTH grapevine that her boss is a drug addict. Martha, of course, does not like hearing of House's ethical violations one bit.
Foreman ignores her and decides to go back to Lane, who has various bull-stomping injuries, partial hearing loss, low fever, muscle weakness, and neurological problems. Foreman thinks the first two can be explained by the bull attack, while Martha wonders if the hearing loss is actually one of his symptoms and Lane has an inner ear problem. They'd love to scan his head and prove Martha's theory, but, of course, they can't as Lane's skull is basically one big metal plate. Martha suggests getting around that by testing Lane's balance. Foreman says that sounds like a plan, and sends the Cottages off to do it. Chase decides to be a dick and test Foreman's authority by asking what happens if someone disagrees with him. Foreman just stares at him, and Chase says he agrees with Foreman and sends Taub and Martha off.
Wilson speaks for many of us, me included, when he yells at Cuddy for breaking up with House for reasons that she was well aware of before she started dating him: his addiction and his assholishness. I mean, I'm not saying that Cuddy shouldn't have broken up with House, because she totally should have. He's a terrible boyfriend and should never be around her child. But Cuddy knew all of that when she decided to break off her engagement to Lucas and start seeing House and said she was okay with it, so the fact that she ultimately wasn't is really lame of her. To her credit, Cuddy actually admits this, saying that she was wrong when she told House she didn't need him to change. Wilson thinks she made a hasty decision when she was under a lot of emotional stress, what with just finding out that she didn't have terminal cancer and all. Cuddy says he's right, but she's done a lot of thinking since then and reached the same conclusion. Wilson says Cuddy should appreciate that House made poor decisions under a lot of emotional stress, too, and therefore deserves another chance. Cuddy says he does, but she's not going to give it to him. She needs to be with someone who she knows will be there for her if something goes wrong. And House isn't that person, and never will be. Wilson says she should have realized that before she started dating House and whatever happens to House after this is her fault. Wilson figures there's nothing left he can say, so he turns to leave, then decides to make Cuddy feel just a little bit worse by telling her that House is back on Vicodin, so Cuddy should probably keep an eye on his new patient.
House will not, it seems, be setting foot in PPTH this week, so he talks to the Cottages over the speaker phone. He calls them all morons for even thinking Lane's problem was his inner ear, especially since the balance test proved that they were wrong. A woman with passing knowledge of English who happens to be in the bathtub with House agrees that his employees are morons. As House nibbles on her toes, he says Martha's inner ear theory was good enough, but her idea of how to test for it was stupid. A champion bullrider is going to do well on a balance test even if he has inner ear problems. He suggests they up the ante for Lane, then leaves them with a message for Cuddy: "spying is for cowards." There's no need to go to her office to pass that along, as Cuddy turns out to be standing right there listening in a most cowardly fashion. "Keep me posted," she asks after House hangs up. Both Foreman and Chase say they will. Haven't we already seen Chase have issues with Foreman being sort of in charge of him in a past episode, and then we also saw those issues get resolved? Why is this happening again?
Lane wonders why he's being subjected to a second balance test. Taub says Lane is far too athletic for a test for normal people, even with the injuries he sustained in his bull accident. Lane objects to the term "accident," saying the bull did it on purpose, but that's okay because both the bull and Lane were just doing their jobs. Taub wonders if perhaps Lane hasn't considered trying a different job, one that doesn't break all of his bones. Lane says he loves what he does, so it's worth the pain. Martha blushes. I'm sure this will work out well. With that, Lane is given a pair of fancy-looking glasses and balances on one foot on PPTH's fancy little electronic balance board thing, staying upright despite the extreme movements under him. "He's amazing," Martha gushes. After a few seconds of that, Taub says Lane's balance is clearly not affected, so they can move on to the diagnosis. The Cottages huddle up and talk, deciding there must be something wrong with Lane's brain but having no idea how to prove that without being able to scan it. Lane pipes up to add that they might want to fix the hospital's rusty pipes while they're at it, as the cup of water they gave him is brown. Foreman says the pipes are fine; Lane's mouth is bleeding.
House lies in bed naked and zoning out. His phone rings, and Hooker #2 hands it to him. It's the Cottages, and House criticizes them for taking so long to get back to him with the test results. Foreman gets all defensive, saying it takes time to think of and put together a brand new diagnostic test. If that's the case, then I really want to know where they found that balance board thing, and what it does if it wasn't designed for that test. He adds that Lane passed the test but now has bloody sputum. Chase interrupts him to say that he thinks Lane has a tumor in his salivary gland and they should do a biopsy. House figures out that Chase and Foreman are embroiled in a stupid power struggle. Foreman says someone has to step up and be in charge, while Taub suggests that House get over himself and come into work and do his job, which sounds good to me, only for House to accuse Taub of being jealous that no one cared when his marriage ended, including Taub. Taub angrily denies this, but House just interrupts him to tell Chase to stop messing with Foreman (Chase giggles) and Foreman to stop thinking he's in charge when House is just a phone call away. He tells Foreman to put a scope in Lane's GI tract to look for bleeds and biopsy his salivary gland. Martha just wants to know if they should be worried about House and if maybe he should refrain from doing any doctor work until he's not on Vicodin. The male Cottages just shake their heads in embarrassment for Martha and/or fear about how House will respond to this. In the end, House just assures Martha that he is not on Vicodin, which he says while in the process of taking another Vicodin. He hangs up on them to play with his hooker.
Taub and Martha run a scope through Lane's GI tract. Martha is worried about House and his ability to be a good doctor while high, but Taub says there's no reason to step in unless House's judgment seems to be impaired. Right now, though, he's coming up with good ideas that his Cottages hadn't thought of, so Taub says they should just shut up and do whatever House tells them to. Taub then goes from being totally unconcerned with House's personal issues to very interested in Martha's, asking her why she has a crush on Lane. Martha awkwardly denies it, calling him a "macho half-wit." Taub agrees, saying that makes Martha's interest in him all the more puzzling. Martha doesn't have to answer, though, as she notices that Lane's eyeballs are yellow.
Foreman gives House an update on Lane's condition. It's hard to hear, as Hooker #3 is loudly playing a hurdy-gurdy. House is very proud of himself (or really, I suspect, Carnell) for being able to find a hooker who can play such a random and difficult instrument. He says if he (well, Carnell) can do that, then Foreman can stop complaining about how the metal rods in Lane's body make it tough to tell on the X-ray whether or not he has a mass in his liver. While sitting with his feet spread much further apart than I'd like considering that he's wearing a bathrobe and seemingly nothing else, he suggests that the Cottages cut Lane open and take a look at his liver with their own eyes. He then hangs up on them so he can ask Hooker #3 if she knows "Free Bird." She doesn't say whether she does or not, as she has a non-speaking part.
Chase and Taub take a look inside Lane, but there is no mass on his liver, despite what Taub thinks he saw on the X-rays.
The Cottages decide that House needs to see this in person, so they bring themselves and Lane's X-rays -- the earlier one showing the possible mass and a later one showing that it's gone -- to House's hotel room. In bed, House takes a look while Hooker #4 waits patiently with her ridiculous 60s hairstyle. Martha asks him how many prostitutes he's been with since his hotel stay began. "All but one. She did my taxes," House says. Why would Martha want to know that anyway? Or think House would answer her question honestly? Come on. House comes up with a diagnosis that hadn't occurred to the Cottages: intermittently swollen lymph nodes. He and Hooker #4 high-five each other in celebration while Martha frets over how if House is right, then Lane must have an infection and testing for that would mean doing a spinal tap, which is not a good idea when he's still recovering from his skull fracture. Chase says they could stick a needle in Lane's brain instead, and House says that sounds fine to him. It doesn't to Martha, who says that's just as, if not more, dangerous than the spinal tap. House gets rid of her by saying he just wants the Cottages to leave because "stuff is going on" underneath the sheet. Hooker #4 grins proudly. Martha spins around and looks out the window, scandalized.
Lane might be an idiot, but he's smart enough to wonder why his doctors want to drill through his skull to look for a mass that isn't there. Taub says there was so a mass, and since it's now gone, they need to drill into Lane's skull to find it. Martha, meanwhile, takes this opportunity to awkwardly ask about Lane's relationship status, like if he has a wife or a girlfriend he'd like them to call to be here with him. Lane says his family is in Oklahoma and thus can't, apparently, be reached by phone, while his rodeo friends have already moved on to the location. He doesn't say he has a girlfriend, which Martha takes to mean there isn't one, and she says "aw, that's too bad" very cheerfully while placing her hand on Lane's pillow in an attempt to flirt.
In the OR, Martha is allowed to have anything to do with this surgery despite the fact that she's just a med student as Taub prepares to drill. He takes a second to make fun of her for liking Lane, and again says he really wants to know what attracts her to him. Why does he care? Martha says she doesn't know. Taub starts to drill, but then Lane goes into respiratory distress. Unable to get a breathing tube down Lane's throat, Taub does a quick and successful tracheotomy. Lane's life saved, all the OR nurse can do is comment that someone totally farted. She who smelt it, dealt it, OR nurse. Martha checks to see if Lane crapped himself in all the near-death excitement, only to find that Lane's feet are the source of the bad smell. Supposedly, it's a terrible smell, but no one noticed it until just now, so I don't get it.
Carnell stops by House's room to see what's going on. House is practicing his archery skills, and dares Carnell to put an apple on his head and let House shoot at him. Carnell says no way, but Hooker #5 is down for it. She stands in front of the door with the apple on her head, and Carnell says this doesn't seem like a good idea. House says if anything bad happens, he's a doctor so he'll able to fix it. Hooker #5 will have to wait, though, as the Cottages call House to ask what Lane's nasty feet are about. House rattles off a few suggestions that Taub says don't explain Lane's other symptoms, and then all the Cottages are distracted by Carnell's frantic shouts of "no!" and "you're gonna kill her!" as House draws his bow. He suddenly lowers it when he thinks of another diagnosis of a fungal infection, which explains the feet, bleeding, and disappearing masses. The Cottages agree, but say it'll be difficult to prove the diagnosis since Lane's body is full of those unscannable metal plates. They figure the best place to start looking is Lane's heart, and that if they inject ice water into Lane's chest cavity, it could give them enough time to get a scan of the area before the metal rod holding his ribs together becomes too hot for Lane to bear. House doesn't really care what they do, as he is focused on shooting the apple above Hooker #5's head. Carnell begs him to stop, but House takes aim and fires. His shot is a little low. Hooker #5 groans and clutches her bloody, arrow-filled chest. Carnell screams. "Oops," House says. He quickly hangs up on the Cottages, who pretty much expect this from House and so aren't particularly concerned. Carnell tends to Hooker #5, who is now dead on the floor, and tells House to call an ambulance. House asks why, since Hooker #5 is perfectly healthy. Sure enough, she laughs and sits up, and she and House show a very relieved Carnell House's trick arrow. I guess House is still tipping generously, as Carnell cheerfully calls him an ass and leaves to fetch the Colt .45 House requests for his trick. He runs into Wilson on the way out. Wilson tells Carnell not to get House a gun, as if Carnell has any loyalty to Wilson, the guy who isn't tipping him.
Martha and Taub explain to Lane that he needs an MRI (OF DOOOM!!) but the metal rod in his ribcage is going to make it even more DOOOM!!ful than ever as the magnets in the machine will heat the metal, making it very hot very quickly. To counteract this, Martha stammers out that they are injecting ice water into Lane's abdominal cavity to try to delay the heating process, so Lane will go from feeling colder than he's ever felt to feeling hotter than he's ever felt in, like, 30 seconds. Also, Martha enjoys lingering glances at Lane's chest, riddled as it is with surgical scars. With that, she slides Lane into the MRI (OF DOOOM!!) tube and tells Taub to shut up before he can make fun of her again.
The two settle in the booth, and Taub still wants to talk to Martha about her crush. "It's interesting," he claims. "No, it's not," Martha speaks the truth. It really isn't at all interesting. Martha has decided that Lane, a "blessed specimen," would create healthy offspring with Martha, and therefore evolution wants her to have sex with him. "My rational brain knows he's a hillbilly and an idiot," she says. It's her prefrontal cortex that is crushing on Lane. Taub says the fact that her rational brain appears to be losing that argument is what interests him. I think Martha's rational brain is falling for that charming smile Lane keeps flashing at Martha. Who could resist?
Bummer time for House! Wilson dragged him down to the hotel bar to lecture him about his current behavior and how he's not dealing properly with losing Cuddy. Wilson says House is pretending to murder hookers with fake arrows because he's bored, and that always leads to stupider and more disastrous things for House. Actually, I think the really stupid person in all of this is Hooker #5, who trusted her client who she knows nothing about other than he'll pay for sex to shoot her with a fake arrow. I know she's supposed to be a high-class escort, but still, you'd think she'd have some street smarts. This is no way to avoid those hooker-killing serial killers we're always hearing about. Wilson offers to let House move back in with him for a while. House says Wilson seems to think he's the only person who can help House out when he's feeling bad, and what an ego Wilson must have. True, but I think Wilson might also be offering to let House stay with him because, you know, House basically forced his way into Wilson's home to live with him the last time he was bummed out. The only thing House really wants this time, he says, is for Wilson to stop talking to him about this. Wilson says he hasn't even started talking about this. Oh, god, please no. I just don't want to hear it again. I can't imagine how sick House must be of this. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" House begs. Wilson refuses. He insists that they will talk about this and deal with it Wilson's way, not House's. House points out that he has legs, so he doesn't really have to be here. Well, he doesn't really have a leg, either. But I guess what he does have is good enough to let him walk away.
I don't understand how they could put Lane in the MRI (OF DOOOM!!) and only one rod in his ribcage would be affected and not, like, all the other metal in his skeleton, especially when one time they stuck LL Cool J in the MRI (OF DOOOM!!) and it ripped all the metal from his prison tattoo out of his skin. The ice water seems to have worn off and Lane is feeling the heat. Even so, Taub asks him to try to keep still. Lane says he is trying. Taub says Lane is tough, and his prefrontal cortex is starting to have feelings for him. Martha snaps at him to shut up, and comments that Lane is too hot too soon for them to be able to get a scan. She wants to stop the scanner now, but Taub says she's trying to protect Lane instead of diagnose him. Martha points out that there is now smoke coming out of Lane's ribs (I wonder if it smells like barbecue?) and there's no point in diagnosing Lane if he has no ribcage. Taub gets the image at that point, and Martha runs out to greet Lane with a bunch of ice packs. After all that, Taub says the scans show that Lane's heart is normal and fungus infection-free.
Wilson decides to try bothering Cuddy for a change. "He needs you," he tells her on the doorstep of her home which he probably didn't call before visiting. Cuddy says she still loves House and he loves her, but she can't be with him anymore. Wilson says that's fine, as long as House knows that Cuddy is still in his life as a friend or whatever. Yeah, I'm sure that'll make House feel so much better. Cuddy doesn't think even that is going to work right now, saying she can't fix House's problem because she is his problem. His problem is probably also herpes now that he's been with all those hookers. Maybe the clap, too.
It's a hot March day in New Jersey, and House is taking advantage of it by hanging out poolside with Hooker #6, champagne, and chocolate-covered strawberries. The Cottages, who seem to be more appropriately dressed for the weather, have taken another field trip to see him and give him an update on Lane's condition. House says if the fungus wasn't in Lane's heart, then the only other place it could be is his head. They should do a CT scan to find it. Taub and Foreman point out that Lane has a plate in his skull that cannot be removed as it's there for a reason. House says Lane is better off with no plate covering his multiple hairline fractures than he is dying from a fungal infection. Foreman says they don't have enough to go on for such a risky move to be advisable, like House ever cared about that before. House gets all David Caruso and wonders aloud, removing his sunglasses in mid-sentence, if the only symptom that hasn't been intermittent was never a symptom in the first place. What they thought was partial hearing loss could be mini-seizures. Chase says Lane's EEGs showed no seizure activity. House says he doesn't think Lane is having seizures, but "something like" seizures, whatever that is. And he already knows how to test his theory. He hands Hooker #6 a wad of cash and heads into work.
I really didn't think House would make an appearance at PPTH, but here he is at Lane's bedside, asking him to sing "My Bonnie." When I was little, I thought the song was called "My Body" and wondered why some guy's body was floating around in the ocean and needed fetching, or if the song was directed at someone who stole some guy's body but somehow left him alive and with just a head with a mouth so all he could do was sing about it. Lane doesn't see how singing will prove anything, but House says that Lane had better sing and stay on the beat, or else he'll have to have a risky skull-opening procedure. Martha explains that if Lane is having blackouts and his brain is compensating for them, Lane wouldn't even realize it, and everyone else would just think he was slow to answer questions. But his brain can't compensate for a pre-set rhythm in a song. House starts up the metronome and tells Lane to sing. He does, and just a few verses in, he starts pausing for a few seconds at a time, then resuming where he left off like nothing happened. When he finishes, he sits back and thinks he did a great job. Martha informs him that he did not. "That was brilliant," she then tells House. I think Martha has another crush! Her prefrontal cortex is beside itself this week! "Yeah," House says sadly on his way out of the room.
Wilson stops by House's hotel room for another visit. They're out on the balcony, which makes me think House only let Wilson in so he could throw him off the balcony and be rid of his annoying psychoanalyzing once and for all. While Hooker #7 (by the way, I am getting sick of and fairly grossed out by all these hookers. It's really not as funny as the writers apparently thought it would be) waits in bed, Wilson says House is obviously looking for something that excites him, from the hookers to the faking out Carnell to even his medical mysteries, and nothing is right now. But, Wilson reassures House, he's just depressed about Cuddy and in time, everything will go back to normal. Yes, because House was so thrilled about life before he started dating Cuddy. I'm sure he can't wait to return to that frame of mind. House psychoanalyzes Wilson right back, saying he's scared because he thinks House is falling apart and he's saying this to convince himself that House will be okay. With that, Hooker #7 hands House his cell phone, saying someone keeps calling.
It's Foreman, reporting that the CT scan of Lane's brain showed no evidence of a fungal infection. Well, hopefully they were able to remove that metal plate without killing Lane so it won't be so bad that they put him at so much risk for nothing. House was ready for this, though, and says the only option left is to "blow up [Lane's] heart."
For this, House makes a second appearance at work. The Cottages loudly protest House's heart-exploding idea, saying there's no proof that Lane's heart has anything wrong with it after extensive scans and tests. House responds to this by blowing his straw wrapper at an inattentive Taub's face to prove that they didn't see anything because they were looking the wrong way. There's an imperfection in Lane's heart for some reason, and House holds up his straw and says they have to suck to find it. Much like this episode, which apparently has to suck to be over already. Chase puts that in simpler terms for us: House wants to put pressure on Lane's aorta until it rips open, thus showing them where the problem is but also, Chase points out, creating a big new problem. House says Lane's infection is going to rip his aorta apart anyway, so they might as well do it when he's on an operating table and thus has the best possible chance of surviving it. Chase says House's idea is ridiculous. House ignores him and leaves to get Lane's consent to do the surgery.
House approaches Lane, who is looking sicker than ever and wearing some surgical dressing on his head after whatever they had to do to it to remove that plate, and tells him he has a Bartonella infection, which is somehow causing all of Lane's symptoms including a mycotic aneurysm in Lane's aorta than can only be found by blowing up Lane's heart. House makes sure to add that he's "as serious as a heart attack," then explains that they're going to increase Lane's blood pressure until the weak spot in his aorta gives way and, basically, explodes for all to see and hopefully close in 60 seconds or else Lane will bleed to death. House impatiently asks if Lane has any questions. Lane does not, which surprises House. He figured Lane would at least want to know if he'd be able to go back to riding bulls. Lane says he already assumed he wouldn't after they cracked open his skull. Good point. House wants to know why Lane doesn't seem more bummed out about having to quit something he loves so much. My guess is that Lane will just be happy to be alive at this point and can deal with losing bull riding later. Lane says he loves bull riding, but if he can't do it anymore then he'll just have to find something else to love. House may be learning a Valuable Lesson, but then Cuddy walks in and interrupts and ruins everything. "We need to talk," she says. Lane releases the sheet he was holding like a bull rope.
In the hallway, Cuddy has to go through the motions of denying House's diagnostic test of intentionally rupturing his patient's aorta. She says there's no reason for House to do something like this. House asks if she really thinks he would subject his patient to something so risky for no reason, or she thinks he's acting out because she dumped him. Cuddy says she thinks House is doing this because he needs to find something that will give him a rush, and all his usual methods aren't cutting it anymore. Way to talk to Wilson too much, Cuddy. Although that's probably not her fault; no doubt Wilson is camped out on her front lawn urging her to talk to House every evening. House, who has been bitter and angry towards Cuddy in a way that freshly-dumped people usually are, says his judgment is indeed affected by all of this, but it's still better than hers and every other doctor in PPTH, and I think he snuck a compliment in there about the Cottages when he said they were go
od enough at their jobs to save Lane's life after his heart exploded. "Get the hell out of my way," he says. Cuddy is speechless, and House knows her well enough to know that means she'll let him do the surgery. "Aaaaaand she caves," he says, walking away. Wow, I hope their interactions are this pleasant for the rest of the season. That was just so much fun to watch.Sure enough, Foreman, Taub, and Chase have Lane on the operating table and his chest cracked open while House and Martha watch from the OR balcony. While Foreman injects Lane's heart with something I'm guessing is supposed to increase his blood pressure, House assumes that Martha told on him to Cuddy. Martha says she did because she was worried that House's judgment was "compromised." Taub gets impatient, saying that Lane's heart looks fine and House's idea isn't going to work. Foreman shuts him down, pointing out a small leak in Lane's aorta. While the Cottages work to stem the trickle of blood, Martha admits that she was wrong to doubt House. House is still waiting for the action to begin.
And here we go! Lane's aorta tears open and blood sprays everywhere, all over the Cottages, who, for some reason, aren't wearing protective eyewear EVEN THOUGH THEY KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN. Now they're having trouble seeing to clamp and stitch the tear shut and save Lane's life at all, let alone within the 60 second time limit before he bleeds to death. Taub and then Foreman seem ready to give up, but Chase is determined to at least try to save their patient's life. After several tense seconds, he's able to sew the hole shut and restore the blood flow to Lane's heart. "It worked!" Foreman exclaims. Everyone is feeling pretty awesome about this except for House, who realizes that not even that will give him the rush he needs.
Lane wakes up to find that he's still alive and Martha stayed at his bedside to keep him company. "I guess it worked!" he says. Martha says it did, but Lane will have to take care to keep his heart rate down for a while until, presumably, the aortic wall can fully heal. She advises him not to have sex for a while, then asks if he'd like to hang out with her sometime. Even though he lives in Oklahoma and, I'm assuming, is going back there as soon as he's out of the hospital. Lane seems taken aback by the question. "Uh... " he says. It's not a rejection, especially since the guy just woke up from major open-heart surgery and may or may not still have that Bartonella infection that caused all of this in first place, but Martha quickly decides to rescind the offer, saying it's inappropriate since she is his doctor (in training). "Goodluckwitheverything," she says, and takes off. She pauses at the door and starts to say something else, but then it automatically slides shut between them, so she gives up and walks away. Well, I guess that could have gone worse. He could have laughed at her so hard that his heart rate went up and he died. Although after being so cruelly rejected, Martha might not mind seeing his heart rip open in a literal display of what he figuratively just did to hers.
House returns to the hotel. He orders a drink at the bar, a "double Scotch doubled." As the bartender pours four measures into a glass, House can't help but overhear a loud party going on nearby. The bartender says the partiers' team must have won a game, and he wishes he was young enough to enjoy life like they are. Why are they celebrating in a hotel bar, by the way? Surely New Jersey has other places to party where the drinks are much cheaper. House watches them for a while, drinking and smiling and having fun in slow motion. All he can do in slow motion is drink.
Sad music plays. House's hotel room is a mess of arrows, bottles, and a hurdy-gurdy. I'm guessing you won't find cash in there anymore, as there is no hooker to keep House company. The Vicodin, of course, is there. And so, House notices, is the balcony.
Wilson asks the bartender if he saw a guy with a scruffy beard who probably ordered a lot of alcohol and drank it quickly. The bartender points him outside.
House approaches the balcony. But we saw this in the previews last week, so I've basically been waiting all episode for whatever's going to happen . House looks down and then climbs on the railing somehow despite the fact that he's supposed to have a bad leg.
Wilson makes his way outside through the giant party, which has subsided somewhat as the revelers notice a man standing on his balcony, eleven stories up. That gets Wilson's attention. As he watches in horror, House smiles before, much to my surprise, stepping off the balcony and into the air. Well, now, how are they going to get out of this one? I really didn't think House would jump. It would be kind of amazing if he just died and they kept the show going without him. I'd miss him, but that would be a daring move. Wilson screams. So does House: "CAAAANNNOOONNNBALLLL!" It was all drawn out like that because of the slow motion. House lands in the giant pool that up until just now, we had no idea was just under his balcony. Underwater, House is still alive and maybe feels like it for the first time all episode. And his hair transplant is holding up well in the water, too!
House surfaces in regular speed and is joined in the pool by several of the partiers, none of whom seem to mind that it's March. "What the hell are you doing?" Wilson asks. "What do you do when you win?!" House asks. "PARTY!" say the kids. "What do you do when you lose?!" he asks. "PARTY HARDER!" they tell their new hero. One of them hands him a beer. Wilson turns and leaves. Clearly, House doesn't want or need whatever he's offering right now.
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