House TV Show - Ugly Girls Need Not Apply - House Photos & Videos, House Reviews & House Recaps | TWoP

Aired 11-12-2007

A teenager with a facial deformity and a camera crew documenting his surgery on it come to PPTH, where his heart stops on the table before the surgery even starts. It's his own fault for choosing to go to PPTH, honestly. House, the Numbers, and new employee Terzzzi are assigned to the case, and they all react to the camera crew's presence. Kumar puts on a tie. CTB puts on lipstick. House tries to find places for them to meet where the camera crew is not allowed. The case soon becomes a battle between House and PS, both of whom are sure of their own respective diagnoses, to the point of PS losing his job for telling the patient's dad not to consent to House's procedure. Meanwhile, Dr. Terzzzi is revealed to suck at diagnostic medicine, and House has a crisis of faith in himself as he realizes that he's too blinded by her beauty to realize that. He worries that he's been doing this with all his other hot female underlings, but when 13 comes up with the correct diagnosis -- Lyme Disease -- in the nick of time, he regains his confidence in his abilities. He un-fires PS and fires Terzzzi, who I hate but still felt really sorry for. The patient gets his facial surgery and the crew gets its documentary -- although, much to House's dismay and Cuddy's delight, it presents him as a kind, compassionate doctor who loves his patients. And Patch Adams. Horrors!

Oh, crap. My cable's on the fritz again. Just because I haven't paid the bill in three months they think they can just -- oh, wait a minute. The black and white seems to be intentional. My bad! Anyway, we're at a train station. A little (but not little enough to be excused) girl rudely screams in the face of a man with a large tumor-looking thing protruding from his forehead. It could be worse: she could have made a television episode about him and named it "Ugly." An older man runs up and tells the girl to go away. Her father whisks her away, hopefully to a much-needed lesson on manners, and we see that the black and white is actually what we're seeing from a camera's POV as we're watching a documentary about the deformed guy being filmed. The older man is his father, and he's very protective of his deformed son, saying he wants to beat up the little girl's father (why not the little girl? She's the one who was screaming). The son says he doesn't care, since, in twenty-four hours, he'll be having surgery to take his deformity off. And then we cut to a shot of Kenny the son and his dad walking through some area of the train station that looks like a stadium entrance in slow motion while triumphant rock music plays. Um...win one for the Gipper?

As Kenny lies on the operating table and the doctors prep, the documentary crew gets the most photogenic doctor on staff to talk about Kenny's surgery. Chase says Kenny has a "fronto-nasal encephalocele," which will require a very detailed procedure to get rid of. The documentary producer prefers sound bites over medical jargon and asks Chase to say Kenny will be set to go to junior prom. Before he can, Kenny goes into V-fib for no apparent reason. Chase grabs the paddles (we don't see a little sign on them with Kumar's picture and the words "HE DOESN'T GET TO USE THESE -- EVER!" on it, but I'm sure it's there) and zaps Kenny while yelling at the nosy camera crew to turn the camera off. It's all fun and glory on the Discovery Health channel until the patient dies.

After the credits, the camera is still rolling, and Cuddy and Chase play nice for it, with Cuddy explaining Kenny's unexplained cardiac arrest as Chase nods solemnly. House, on the other hand, stares directly into the camera and greets the news of a teenager's heart stopping with a "Good." Cuddy's reply, an equally shocked and annoyed whisper of "'Good'?" is pretty much perfect, as is Chase's briefly seen eye bulge, also in equal parts shock and annoyance. "Go on," House asks. Chase exposits for both the docu crew and us that they've got Kenny on a pacing wire to keep his heart going, and they can't do the surgery until they figure out what's wrong. With that, Chase pretty much runs out of the room, and House takes the file from Cuddy, saying he will see them again after he's saved Kenny's life. "Have a warm bath waiting," he tells Cuddy, flashing the camera his very suavest and cheekiest grin. His triumphant exit is interrupted, however, when he notes that the camera crew is following him. Cuddy tells him (she couldn't have told him before? Really?) that they'll be trailing him as he works on Kenny's case. House expresses his annoyance by making fun of the producer and lying, claiming he became a doctor because of the movie Patch Adams. As most of us know, applications to both medical school and clown college went down after that movie was released. I just made that fact up, but if they didn't, they should have. Then House tricks the crew into leaving the room so he can close the door in their face and talk to Cuddy alone.

Cuddy says she's no happier that the camera crew is trailing House than he is, as it's going to make her hospital look like the unprofessional horror show it truly is. I mean, they've got a guy trained in emergency and diagnostic medicine doing a delicate and complicated specialized surgery, for one. House makes a fat joke at Cuddy's expense, which leads me to believe that whoever wrote that line has never seen so much as a picture of Lisa Edelstein before. Why not have her spit back a biting remark about House's perfectly healthy right thigh muscle while they're at it? Cuddy optimistically, if extremely naively, says she's hoping House will realize that this will be good PR for PPTH. House says people act when they're in front of cameras. He doesn't want his team to act. Cuddy says the documentary is covering Kenny's medical costs (that's going to be the most expensive documentary ever shot, then), so either House plays nice and accepts the camera crew or Kenny doesn't get a new face. Does she really think that House cares about Kenny's face?

But I guess he does, as House leaves the office and tells the camera crew his private discussion with Cuddy focused on her "gnarly ingrown hairs" from lip waxing. EW, but it's worth it for what follows, as the camera immediately whips around to Cuddy and zooms in on her face while she looks all confused at the extra camera time.

I was sort of hoping Dr. Terzzzi would forget to come back to PPTH and we'd never see her again, but here she fucking is. The Numbers aren't any happier to see her than I am, with CTB cutting right to the chase and saying that Terzzzi's presence means one less spot for the rest of them. House enters the room with a camera crew in tow. Cole says Foreman's in the bathroom, so House cleverly decides to escape from his ineffective and useless watch by bringing everyone to a secret location. House tells the camera crew that walking will look good on camera, because it gives the illusion that the story is moving forward. Unless said walking is Cameron heading to House's office to profess her love for him for the sixteenth time. The Numbers file past the camera, with CTB giving her hair a subtle flip and posing as she passes. Kumar, on the other hand, just waves dumbly at the camera. Is there anything he's good at? Seriously, we have yet to see him contribute to any cases thus far. Even the CRAZY Random Guy did more before that whole poisoning incident.

The illusion of the story moving forward occurs. House updates them on the case, but CTB just wants to know what Dr. Terzzzi is doing there. Kumar wants to know if they're going to be on TV. Not right now, as House has led them all into the MRI of DOOOM!!'s lair, in which no metal is allowed in, due to the MRI's "strong magnetic field" (of evil).

I hope no one's wearing metal, as the MRI is on and scanning some hapless victim when House and the Numbers gather around him. It can't be healthy to stand around an MRI while it's on, but, oh well. House once again tries to tell the Numbers about the case, and CTB once again interrupts him to ask why Terzzzi is there. House mutters something about swimsuit models, and I can't believe that the people in the MRI booth haven't so much as asked House what he thinks he's doing there. I guess it's not unusual for a bunch of people to rush into the room and start chatting away at PPTH. House passes a picture of their patient around, affectionately referring to him as "Bighead," and asks for diagnoses. PS is sure that increased intracranial pressure from Kenny's deformity caused his heart to stop, but House dismisses this. Terzzzi guesses that Kenny has a midline defect in his heart to match the one in his head. House considers this for a second, then doubts that sixteen years of medical tests would have missed a heart defect. CTB cries about how unfair it is to the rest of them that House hired Terzzzi. House tells her she can find "fair" at another job. I've been around long enough to know that you're not going to find fair at any job. House agrees with me, saying if CTB wants fair, she'll have to find another species. I don't know -- I've seen some pretty unfair squirrels in my time. And what about bees? If you're born a queen, you get waited on hand and foot and just have to spit out eggs. But if you're a female and not queen, you have to do all the work all the time! And the male bees don't do anything except try to mate with the queen. If they're able to accomplish that, their penis snaps off and stays in the queen and the male bee dies.

But anyway, House tells the Numbers to stop focusing on Kenny's deformity and diagnose him as if he were any other really ugly kid. Okay then, maybe his heart broke when he asked a girl out and she said no because he was ugly. Because that seems to be the heart problem affecting almost all the other ugly teens. Cole comes up with endocarditis from drug abuse, typical teenage behavior. House goes a step further, saying the dark discoloration under Kenny's nose could indicate frostbite from huffing Freon. PS shakes his head at this, saying those discolorations are a common occurrence in deformities like Kenny's. 13 agrees, pointing out similar discolorations on Kenny's cheeks and forehead. House refuses to admit he's wrong, so he orders them to do a nuclear study and look for scarring of the heart from drug abuse. The Numbers file out, leaving House and Terzzzi alone. With the MRI guy, who has got to be so confused right now. Not to mention that the presence of a crowd around his legs is doing nothing for his feelings of claustrophobia. Terzzzi says she doesn't want to be a part of House's game: "I gave up a career because I thought this was a firm offer." Uh...that's not House's fault. You took his sex joke to be a firm job offer. You're dumb. But House says it was and is a firm offer. I think he's still talking about his penis, though.

House immediately heads for Wilson's office to worry aloud that he gave a firm job offer to an "idiot." Ha ha ha ha! The Terzzzi plot is about to go a way I did not expect, and that's a very good thing. Hooray! House says Terzzzi seemed smart at Langley, even though she didn't come up with any suggestions of her own and the one suggestion she did come up with at the differential was stupid. House tries to convince himself that Terzzzi's capable by saying that she works for the CIA, and they don't employ idiots. "The Bay of Pigs was a daring triumph," Wilson snarks. Wow, between this episode and last week, it appears that Wilson harbors some strong anti-government feelings. I'd be too, if a police detective tried to ruin my life just because I was friends with a guy who stuck thermometers up people's asses and left them there. Wilson tells House to fire Terzzzi. House says he can't; she left a career to work under him. Wilson says Terzzzi must be really, really hot for House to actually appear guilty.

PS gets the fun job of telling Kenny's father that they suspect his son is huffing Freon. How does one even huff Freon, anyway? Do you stick your nose under the air conditioner? Behind the fridge? Wouldn't it be easier to just sniff markers? Not to mention it's a better high. Uh, so I've heard. Kenny's dad is kinda miffed and refuses to believe that Kenny is abusing the fridge. PS says it's natural for a parent to believe his kid isn't doing drugs. It doesn't mean he isn't.

By Sara M

Back in the OR, PS begs House to let him to the LP and test the intracranial pressure. House refuses to give someone even the chance of proving him wrong and tells them to keep looking for drug abuse signs, this time with a heart-stopping EP study. Of course, Kumar loves this idea because it's all about his excitement and not about, you know, keeping his patients alive by not subjecting them to unnecessary and dangerous tests. Cuddy appears in the OR balcony and yells at House.

PS explains the procedure to Kenny, saying that it "sounds worse than it is." Dude, you're stopping his heart. That's pretty far down there on the "worse" spectrum. PS hints to Kenny that now would be a good time to admit it if he's done drugs. "Being different is really hard," PS starts; then gives the camera a "go away, please" look. Amazingly, they oblige. Not so amazingly, they just step back about three feet and zoom in on the scene. Kenny figures that if he tells them he's done drugs, they'll be able to do the facial surgery, so he freely admits to doing a "lot of coke," "LSD," and "acid." PS quickly figures out that Kenny has never done drugs and was just saying he did to get the surgery. PS says they're not going to continue the test and Kenny starts coughing up blood.

With Cuddy sitting guard at the door to make sure he won't escape the camera crew, House has to get in front of the cameras with the Numbers in the conference room. Kumar is wearing a tie today, as he says, "I always wear ties. I'm a doctor." Then he gets yelled at for staring at the camera. Ha ha. CTB suggests something, and House compliments her camera-ready lipstick, if not her crappy diagnosis. Foreman's there, too, having finally emerged from his day-long bathroom break. House begs for a good differential. Instead, he gets Terzzzi, who suggests a peptic ulcer. "Good," House says. A confused Foreman frowns and says Kenny doesn't have any other symptoms associated with an ulcer. I now know what all of those symptoms are, thanks to the ulcer I had last month. Here's a lesson from me to you, dear readers: the weird stomachaches you're getting after your nightly milk and cookies are not a sudden onset of lactose intolerance, nor is vomiting every day for two weeks a sign of stress. It could be an ulcer. Get yourself checked out sooner rather than later, and then you won't have to miss writing a recaplet because you're stuck in bed with the worst pain you've ever felt in your life, weighing the benefits of ER morphine against a hefty hospital bill you probably can't afford. By the way, the hospital bill won. One of these days, we'll get universal health care and I'll finally get the ER morphine I so richly deserve. Anyway, Foreman points out the rather obvious fact that the GI tract and the heart aren't connected and therefore wouldn't affect each other while Terzzzi looks at him dumbly. 13 says a bunch of words that House rejects, and Cole suggests stomach cancer and paraneoplastic syndrome. House tells Cole and PS to do a scope and look for cancer. PS objects, saying it could be dangerous if Kenny's bleeding is being caused by liver failure caused by intracranial pressure. House shoots him down, saying liver failure and intracranial pressure are not at all related. The camera swings over to PS for his argument, but it is not forthcoming. "True," he mutters simply.

By Sara M

The camera crew finally goes to Cuddy to tell on House and his wandering ways. Cuddy tries to save face, saying that it's part of House's brilliance to "change venues" when trying to come up with a diagnosis. Then she just gives up and runs away.

The camera crew would rather hang with Cameron in the ER than watch the Numbers test Kenny's retina for mitochondrial whatever. Cameron, incidentally, is treating a patient who does not want to be on camera and has to take his pants off for a rectal exam in the middle of the hallway. I don't even know where to start with that. The producer asks Cameron if House treated her as badly as he treats his current fellows. Cameron goes flying off into Camland, where the sun always shines and the kittens always wear vests, and dreamily mutters that she "loved" House. She quickly comes back to Earth and tries to explain that she loved working with House, but the damage has already been done and trying to explain it away just makes Cameron look worse. As for whether or not Cameron is still in love with House, I don't care and don't understand why it has to come now when no one has even tried to explain why Cameron's hair is blonde now.

And now they're going to make poor Kenny do a test that his giant head prevents him from being able to do. CTB is helpless, but PS figures out a way to look into Kenny's eyes without him having to stick his oversized head in a contraption. And, as PS expected, he finds no degeneration indicating a mitochondrial disorder, but he does find swelling that indicates ICP. I always thought sucking was indicative of ICP. Sucking, and large amounts of stupid clown makeup to give yourself a gimmick that will overshadow how much you suck at music. See also: KISS.

House and PS walk down the hallway to give the illusion that the story is moving forward. PS tells House that he's confirmed ICP and wants to do surgery to alleviate it. House thinks the swelling means Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. He tells PS to put Kenny on steroids. PS argues that steroids will compromise Kenny's immune system, delaying his facial surgery. House doesn't care about that, of course.

PS tells Kenny's dad about JRA and the steroids. But he can't bring himself to lie, and admits that he doesn't agree with House's diagnosis and wants to throw him off the case so Kenny can get his necessary facial surgery. And if this show were called "PS," I'd have every reason to believe this would work. Since it isn't...well, it was nice knowing you, PS.

After the commercial, House and PS are in Cuddy's office. House is furious, as Kenny's dad won't agree to the steroids until House is sure about the diagnosis. WHAT?! Someone who doesn't want to be treated for something they aren't sure he has?!?!?! I don't understand! Since House can't do what he does best and treat his patient, he has to resort to the other thing he does best and make PS miserable. He digs at PS, asking why a successful plastic surgeon would want to be a lowly fellow. PS just keeps telling Cuddy that Kenny needs surgery to drain his cyst. "You're fired," House says. They look to Cuddy. "What you did was over the line. Get out," Cuddy tells PS. But he's not fired yet -- she just wants to talk to House alone. She says he can't fire PS in the middle of the case, especially when he's the only guy Kenny's dad trusts and there are cameras everywhere. House says he'll just treat Kenny behind PS's back. Cuddy suggests doing a CT scan to rule out PS's theory instead, which is what House should have done in the first damn place.

PS and Foreman do the CT scan. PS says he's toast, but Foreman doesn't agree; saying PS is a test result away from being House's frontrunner. All House cares about, ultimately, are good ideas. Then why did he fire Weird Beard? His ideas were awesome! Sigh. PS starts talking about how he sees a regular kid when he looks at Kenny because, as a plastic surgeon, he sees what could be rather than what is. Foreman says that kind of talk will get PS fired, no matter how many good ideas he has.

House decides to go do some investigating. He goes to PS's former plastic surgery center, where a doctor Nip/Tucks, "Tell me what you don't like about yourself." It soon becomes quite clear that House made the consultation under false pretenses and doesn't want work done; he just wants to know why PS doesn't work there anymore. "Personal issues," the doctor answers. He won't say any more.

So House goes back to the office, grabs the CT scan from PS, and heads for Cuddy, who is less than thrilled to be back on camera. House shoves the scan in front of Cuddy's face so she can decide the results, since House is sure to read them his way and PS is sure to read them his. If CT scans can be interpreted so loosely, why do them at all? While Cuddy goes off to check the scan out, House starts asking PS about his personal life and former job. Apparently, House met PS's wife, who told him PS left his practice because he lost a patient. He also brought her a huge diamond guilt ring. PS's former co-workers, meanwhile, said PS left for personal reasons. PS panics and tries to drag House away from the camera and into a room where a patient is having a pelvic done. Someone at PPTH who actually has respect for his patient's privacy screams at the camera crew to leave. They do, but PS and House stay, much to the patient's chagrin. She is ignored, and PS admits to House that he cheated on his wife with a nurse. When his partners found out, he had to resign. He told his wife he lost a patient because he didn't want her to find out, obviously. "We all have our vices," PS says, pointedly providing pill-popping as an example.

The two head outside, where Cuddy says she doesn't see any evidence of intracranial pressure. So now PS has been proven wrong, and House knows his deepest, darkest secrets. This is a bad day for PS. Cuddy orders PS to stay away from Kenny's family and House to stay away from PS's family.

House finally comes face to face with Kenny. "Wow. You are ugly!" House greets him. "Wow. You're an ass," Kenny spits back. House tells Kenny he's lucky he's not one of those animals whose parents eat defective children at birth. After this stunning, trust-earning opener, House tells Kenny's dad that he and Cuddy agree that Kenny has JRA and needs steroids. Shockingly, Kenny's dad doesn't trust House. House says he only trusts PS, because PS thinks the surgery is important. House doesn't think the surgery is important; saving Kenny's life is. Kenny says he doesn't have a life without the surgery. No one treats him normally, not even his dad. "If you take your steroids, then you get to live and you can do your surgery. But it will only change your face. It won't change who your face made you," House says. I think that's a compliment?

That night, House and Wilson head for the room where the camera crew is keeping their equipment. House ably unlocks the door thanks to the set of keys he got from "Lou the Janitor." "What?" Wilson asks. "That's his name," House says. Hooray! The Weird Night Janitor Who Wears His Pants Backwards finally has a real name! Surely a cameo is soon to come.

The two manage to set up the equipment and play back the tapes of Terzzzi being a moron. House wants Wilson's objective opinion. It is that Terzzzi's dress looks see-through when she leans forward. Also, her ideas suck a fat one. House sighs and wonders what he's going to do, sounding uncharacteristically like a normal person with occasional bouts of uncertainty. Wilson tells House to just enjoy having a hot employee around and rely on Foreman to keep him from falling prey to her stupid ideas, as he seems "immune" to her feminine wiles. That's because Foreman is a professional who can handle his impulses. Or, House guesses, because he's gay. "Did he become an idiot around Chase?" Wilson asks. We'll never know, because Wilson is checking out 13's hotness now. House worries that he's become "that guy." "That guy" who hires women based on hotness instead of ability? "Every guy is that guy," Wilson says. Oh, great. Well, it's a good thing I'm really hot. House tries to defend himself, saying that his last female hire, Cameron, was smart. "I'm beginning to doubt that," Wilson says. This explains so, so much.

For instance: the stupid but pretty Cameron is talking to a mirror as she practices an explanation for the camera crew for why she said she loved House. It's not very good, and Chase, who's being forced to watch his girlfriend practice telling a camera crew that she doesn't love her ex-boss even though she said she did, should probably consider finding someone else.

Meanwhile, PS is bent over the CT scans trying to find a way to prove his ICP diagnosis is correct. House enters, and PS shows him a shadow that proves Kenny has a lesion. "You're right. I didn't see that before," House says.

The two head for Kenny's room, where House tells Kenny to stop feeling better, because PS thinks he has a lesion. PS brushes House aside and says he was wrong, and he's happy to be, because it means Kenny will get his surgery. Kenny and his father rejoice, and Kenny tells House that after his surgery, he's going to look great and House will look "like butt." I'm all for optimism, but someone might want to show Kenny a few before-and-after pictures so he realizes that, even with the mass gone, he's still not going to look completely normal. House interrupts everyone's rejoicing to note that Kenny's pinky finger is twitching. "He's not better," he says; "I don't know what he has. Cancel the surgery." Ouch.

Back in the classroom, House has to explain to Terzzzi that involuntary muscle movement is a symptom. PS thinks Kenny is just nervous about his upcoming awesome surgery. Foreman thinks the twitching is from Kenny's JRA and will soon be under control thanks to those steroids. House says the steroids could just be making Kenny appear better when he's still got something wrong with him. 13 sits forward and suggests Lyme Disease, saying it fits all the symptoms and explains why the steroids made Kenny appear better. House says Kenny is missing the huge bulls-eye rash that is a hallmark of Lyme disease. Also, he has yet to accuse someone of being a homosexual and get slapped in the face. I would like to say that Lyme disease only has a rash during its initial onset. If you miss that, you can go for years without knowing you have Lyme disease. I'd also like to say that I once diagnosed my Evil Ex-Roommate with Lyme disease when he came home from a trip to Connecticut feeling flu-y and sporting what he called a "huge bug bite." I checked it out, and, sure enough, he had a rash on his back that looked like an advertisement for Target. After a quick Google image search, I was able to make my diagnosis and we set off for the hospital. My Evil Ex-Roommate then repaid me by not doing the dishes ever and passing out on the couch with a glass full of red wine in his hand, spilling it all over my couch and the carpet and ruining our security deposit. Lest anyone think I'm a super-awesome diagnostician, I also thought my ulcer was lactose intolerance and stress.

PS snaps, saying that House is just trying to find a reason to prevent Kenny from having his surgery, because House wants everyone to be as disfigured and ugly as House is inside. This is followed by a brief awkward silence, broken only when CTB suggests rheumatic fever, because we're in Little House on the Prairie now. PS suggests they remove the pacing wire and see if Kenny's heart stops beating. If it does, he's still sick. If it keeps beating, he's better and can have the surgery.

Kenny's father is worried that Kenny's heart isn't ready to lose the pacing wire. House says PS is sure it is, while House is standing by with Kumar and some defibrillator paddles, because he thinks they'll be necessary when Kenny's heart stop. Kumar holds the paddles up and winks at the camera, his awkwardness gone in the face of the possible opportunity of a new life experience via electrocuting himself and setting everything on fire again. I would take this as a very bad sign, but Kenny wants his surgery, so he agrees to the test. The camera watches as PS removes the guiding wire and...Kenny's fine. His heart can beat without a wire. Kumar puts the paddles down, disappointed. "Thank God!" Kenny's dad says. House is all pissed off that he was wrong, so he throws off a "What do you mean, 'Thank God'? God's the guy who gave it to him," on his way out.

More slow motion and music as Kenny is wheeled out of PPTH on his way to have his surgery. Meanwhile, House is still not convinced that Kenny is better, but he can't think of anything else.

And we're back in the OR. Chase is there, and so is 13. She tells the camera that she's only there because she thinks Kenny is still sick and something is bound to go wrong during his operation. And if it does, apparently, she is the person who can best deal with it, as I guess the other ten surgeons would run around screaming in panic. Chase explains the surgery to the camera, pointing out some pictures of Kenny to illustrate his point. 13 interrupts him to ask when the pictures of Kenny's face were taken. Chase says three weeks ago. 13 says that the discoloration on Kenny's cheeks and forehead isn't in those photos. They are present now.

Wilson reports to House's office to tell him that he has a problem. Duh. Wilson has been so good this episode, but now he's psychoanalyzing, saying that House hires hot women to work for him because he doesn't know how to have an actual relationship. Wilson thinks that House should just keep the hot girls who are smart and fire the hot girls who are dumb. Then he should ask them out. This is not a good plan unless you want to get sued for sexual harassment. Honestly, Wilson. Anyway, 13 runs into House's office to tell him that she was right -- Kenny has Lyme disease. House thinks 13 is yet another stupid hot woman, but she persists. The rash is there, she says. It's just hiding.

By Sara M

More slow motion and music as Kenny is wheeled out of PPTH on his way to have his surgery. Meanwhile, House is still not convinced that Kenny is better, but he can't think of anything else.

By Sara M

And the reason why it's hiding is because Chase and his crack surgical team were about to perform surgery on someone's forehead without shaving the area first. When they do, they see that Kenny's hair was concealing the rash. House is happy, because this means that he managed to hire at least one hot girl who is smart, so now he doesn't have to question his hiring practices. He probably still should, though. It's not really fair that there are a bunch of ugly women out there being denied the chance to learn diagnostic medicine. That's more the casting department's fault than House's, though.

House ends his time with the camera crew by saying that deformed people are repulsive, even though the question they asked him was how he felt about Cuddy's interference in his case. Charming.

It's time for the firing squad. House tells PS to stand. He does, and House prolongs his agony by saying that he found out even more about PS. Not only was he forced to resign, he was also forced to sign a non-compete contract, meaning he'll never be able to practice plastic surgery again. Which leaves this job as his only employment option. House asks PS what could possibly have been important enough to sign his career away. PS says they promised not to tell his wife that he cheated on her. Wow, PS's co-workers are total assholes to blackmail him like that. "I love my wife," PS says. Not enough to keep it in his pants, though. House asks PS why he risked his job at PPTH to undermine House, knowing that he had nothing to fall back on. "I thought you were wrong," PS says. House tells him to sit down. He won't be fired today.

By Sara M

So who does get the boot? House asks Terzzzi to stand. She does with a confident smile, sure that she won't be getting the boot. House checks her out and says, "Nice." Terzzzi enjoys the attention. Until now, as House says that he's been treating Terzzzi unfairly, and the only way for him to rectify that is to fire her. Terzzzi's smile goes from smug to non-existent in less than two seconds. I cheer...until Terzzzi's face goes from surprised to absolutely devastated. I mean, I hate her, but damn. That's harsh. And she's all crying and stuff, too. Aw. House tries to soften the blow by asking Terzzzi out to dinner and a movie now that he's ruined her life. Terzzzi gathers up her stuff and leaves without a word. I think that's a no. On the plus side, Terzzzi is sure to win big bucks from PPTH when they have to settle her sexual harassment lawsuit. She can get Stacy Frozenface to be her lawyer, but only if the entire trial occurs off-camera.

House and Cuddy watch the documentary, in which House's words have been taken out of context to make it look like he loves children and Patch Adams, and was Kenny's "rock" during his medical crisis. The producer, now serving as on-camera talent and hosting the show, says that House is one of those rare doctors who wears his heart on his sleeve. Cuddy is enjoying the hell out of this. House is horrified at this gross misrepresentation. He takes his hands off of his eyes for long enough to turn the TV off. Cuddy wipes away a fake tear and says she's moved by the tale of this caring doctor. "Suddenly, I don't feel I can trust Michael Moore movies," House muses. When could you ever? The guy's great at coming up with a point of view and showing you why it's right, but as a documentary maker charged with presenting his audience with true facts in an unbiased way so they can make their own decisions, he blows. House gets up to leave. Cuddy asks him if he's going to save kittens or read to deaf people, but he vaguely threatens to make sure that "this evil" is never shown. Between this and that sexual harassment lawsuit, House's lawyer will be busy this year!

Cuddy turns the TV back on and watches as a post-surgery Kenny, who doesn't look totally normal but looks a lot better, looks at the camera and sincerely thanks House. This time, Cuddy is genuinely touched.

House TV Show - Ugly Girls Need Not Apply - House Photos &amp; Videos, House Reviews &amp; House Recaps | TWoP

House TV Show - Ugly Girls Need Not Apply - House Photos & Videos, House Reviews & House Recaps | TWoP