A guy who crucifies himself every year as part of a deal he thinks he made with God to cure his daughter of terminal cancer barfs blood and comes to PPTH, whose staff is in the midst of trust issues with their loved ones. Cuddy is mad at House for lying to her, Taub is mad at his wife for having an emotional affair with a guy she met in an online support group for people whose spouses cheated on them, Wilson thinks Sam is lying in medical reports to cover up that she's giving terminal cancer patients higher doses of radiation in a last-ditch effort to cure them, and everyone is lying to Martha to keep her from telling their patient the truth. It turns out that he has a form of MS that kills in a matter of days and the only possible treatment for it is stem cell therapy, which the patient's religious convictions prevent him from accepting. So House just lies to him that his daughter's cancer never went away like everyone thought so he doesn't have to care about God anymore. The patient readily agrees to the stem cell therapy and begins to improve. Meanwhile, Wilson proposes to Sam, only to blow it by revealing that he thinks she lied about the radiation doses to help the terminal patients. Apparently she didn't, and she's so insulted by Wilson's refusal to believe her that she moves out. I hope Wilson kept the receipt from that engagement ring. Meanwhile, House is able to win Cuddy back by swallowing his pride, apologizing to her, and promising he'll never lie again -- which is, of course, another lie.
It's a beautiful day in the oddly desert-like hills of New Jersey. Perfect weather to carry your large wooden cross, as one man is clearly taking advantage of. He sets it down on the ground and his four followers get to work tying his feet and arms to it while he mumbles various religious things. Finally, it's time for the pièce de résistance and nails are driven through the man's palms, which he doesn't seem to mind very much as he smiles while the blood pours out of his hands. With that, the man and his cross are raised to overlook beautiful downtown ... uh ... New Jersey? I'm not familiar enough with the state to know which city's skyline we're looking at. It kind of looks like Los Angeles to me, really. The man, Ramon, enjoys the view for all of three seconds before he's barfing blood. Apparently, this is not supposed to happen, so his followers hurriedly move to take him down while trying to figure out just what the hell they're going to tell the ER.
House greets Cuddy in the PPTH lobby by accusing her of forcing him to masturbate because she's still refusing to see him until he apologizes and he's still refusing to apologize and I'm still refusing to give a shit about this story arc. House doesn't give a shit about the new case Cuddy wants him to take either, until she tells him the patient has puncture wounds in his hands from a crucifixion. That piques his interest. Ever the optimist, House is also able to find a silver lining in the dark cloud of his current relationship status: now he doesn't have to be Cuddy's date to PPTH's Chairman of the Board's wedding. Cuddy says she is not going to let him stand the Chairman up, like the Chairman doesn't know House well enough not to be relieved he isn't there. House says he will go with Cuddy as long as she doesn't mistake his attendance for an admission of guilt. Also, there's a chance she might get drunk enough to let him have sex with her. This somehow means he also has to attend the rehearsal dinner. Why is Cuddy even at the rehearsal dinner? Is she in the wedding party? Weird.
House arrives at Ramon's room with Martha and Chase in tow and informs the patient that he's crazy for crucifying himself. Ramon explains that his daughter, who happens to be sitting at his bedside, was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and given two months to live. Ramon says he made his "deal" then. "With your health insurance carrier?" House asks. "With God," Ramon says. Smart decision on Ramon's part, actually. God is probably much easier to reach and more reliable to get satisfactory results from than a health insurance company. And this is coming from someone who doesn't believe in God. Ramon told God he would nail himself to a cross every year his daughter stayed alive. Three weeks later, she was cancer-free, so now Ramon is stuck doing the annual crucifixion thing. His wife left him because of it, which House says only speaks to her sanity. Daughter asks House if he believes in God. House says he did until he "grew curly hairs." Chase gives House a look that says "how about you don't talk about your pubic hair in front of a young girl and her father?" Daughter counters that there's no other explanation for her being cured other than God intervening, but House says there are many possibilities and it's just human nature to have to have answers that makes people believe in God rather than not know what happened. Chase asks House to leave Ramon alone so they can do an LP.
Wilson arrives at work a bit late to find House already in his office. He needs Wilson's help to figure out why his new patient's daughter's terminal cancer went away and also wants to know why Wilson is late for work in the first place. Wilson's excuses fall flat as House knows way too much about him and his schedule so he knows that Wilson's tires are too new to have a flat and there are no construction sites between Wilson's house and PPTH that could have put debris in the road for Wilson to run over, thus puncturing his tire. Wilson isn't as creeped out as he probably should be and says the girl could have recovered because the cancer was a misdiagnosis in the first place (very possible if it was diagnosed by PPTH's only cancer doctor) or maybe it was just a "spontaneous remission."
Wilson finally comes clean with House as to what delayed him on his way to work: he was buying an engagement ring. On the way to work? Are jewelry stores even open that early? How weird. And not very romantic. House examines the ring and tells Wilson that his idea to propose to Sam at the wedding is the second stupidest thing he's heard today, especially since there's no need to buy a new engagement ring when she probably still has the one Wilson gave the first time they were engaged. Wilson deflects by asking House about his love life or lack thereof with Cuddy, recommending that House just apologize to her even though he doesn't mean it. Instead of taking that advice, House uses it to think of a way he can get Cuddy to give in: by catching her lying to him and hoping two wrongs will make a right or something.
The Cottages hang out in the lab and run tests while gossiping about the Chairman of the Board's bride-to-be, a "gorgeous woman half his age." "Lucky guy," Chase says. Foreman doesn't think he'll be lucky for that long. Martha adds to the conversation by saying her parents have been "happily married" for 32 years even though her father is 19 years older than her mother. Foreman says age gap marriages like that can work as long as the couple isn't marrying because the guy is rich and the woman is a hot model. "That didn't come out right," he then apologizes. Even Foreman will apologize before House. Geez. Martha says her father was the Classics chair at Columbia and her mother was his "gorgeous" student. And now we know more about Martha's parents than we do Taub's, who speaks up only to ask what the group thinks it means when someone takes her cell phone into the shower with her. Foreman says it means she doesn't want Taub to see her calls, emails, or texts. Chase says it means "the chickens are coming home to roost," figuring that Taub is talking about his wife. Martha says she brings her cell phone into the shower with her all the time "out of habit" even though she lives alone. Why would she do that? All the steam from the shower is going to get into the phone and break it. Some genius she is. When Taub adds that his wife has a meeting today at a hotel, though, Martha has to agree with Chase. With that, all the tests for infection have come back negative even though Ramon has many symptoms of an infection. Taub suggests that Ramon caught an infection from a horse, as he spends a lot of time around them as part of his stable-building job and he has a bunch of open wounds on his hands that make it easy for the Rhodococcus equi bacteria to enter his bloodstream.
Taub and Chase inform Ramon that he has a horse disease. He asks if losing your teeth is one of the symptoms, showing off a freshly-lost canine tooth. That's certainly a bummer, but at least he'll get a few dollars from the tooth fairy. It also is not a symptom of the horse disease, so House sends the Cottages off to search Ramon's pad for heavy metals. Taub is excused to go spy on his wife at her hotel "meeting," which House knows about because Chase told him before Martha apparently had the chance to.
As for House, he's back in the Clinic asking Cuddy for Ramon's daughter's medical records. He's also wearing a suit, tie, and a vest. Cuddy says she's not about to violate patient privacy laws just so House can try to prove to Ramon that God isn't real, especially when there are so many even less significant reasons for her to do that. She finally notices what House is wearing and asks, disapprovingly, "why are you wearing that?" Like Cuddy, who goes to work dressed like she just stepped out of a lingerie ad, has any room to criticize what other people wear to work. House says he put on his "dressy casual" best for the rehearsal dinner. "You look like Wilson. It looks weird," Cuddy says. I thought
it looked nice, myself. But House was hoping Cuddy would be polite and say he looked good, thus allowing him to catch her in a lie. It didn't work, and everyone's time has been wasted.Chase and Martha set up at the door to Ramon's apartment. Chase asks Martha if she changed her mind about breaking into patient's homes. Martha says she hasn't -- she already asked Ramon for permission, figuring he didn't have any way to hide anything from them since he was in the hospital and has no roommate or friends to call. He also, Martha tells Chase after he's spent a good five minutes trying to pick the lock, leaves his door unlocked. Idiot. Just because you have nothing to steal doesn't mean that people won't try to walk into your apartment and take something anyway, and possibly hurt you if you happen to be home at the time. Ramon's apartment is pretty empty -- no TV, no computer, no stereo, not even any food. Martha finds Ramon's box of palm nails and a picture of him with his daughter a few years back. She notes that Ramon used to be a lot fatter. Chase wonders if Ramon is starving himself, and thus the tooth falling out was a result of malnutrition and not a symptom of whatever is really wrong with him. If that's true, then Taub's horse disease diagnosis was right after all. It also means that Ramon is so weird and out there that I don't really see how the viewers are supposed to relate to or have any sympathy for him. I mean, being devout? Sure. Nailing yourself to a cross every year and starving yourself? Come on now.
House tries to walk into Wilson's office, only to find the door locked. He orders Wilson to let him in, and after Wilson can be heard slamming something in his desk drawer, he does. House enters with the medical files of Ramon's daughter that he got by forging Cuddy's signature and tosses them on Wilson's desk to look at for him. Wilson says he's too busy taking care of patients who have cancer to look at the files of someone who was declared cancer-free four years ago. House isn't buying it, and checks out Wilson's desk drawer to find out what's really taking up his time. He finds a bunch of files from the hospital Sam works at. Wilson admits that her boss is about to review her files so she asked her almost-fiancé to look them over for her, or else she'll be stuck in all weekend looking them over herself and thus unable to go to the wedding and be proposed to. Wilson says it's important to him that he propose at a wedding because it was at a wedding where they first fell in love. Isn't it really poor form to propose at a wedding? Way to try to take the spotlight off the newlyweds. House doesn't think that's a good idea because emotions tend to run high and people are "on edge" at weddings. Really? Even the people in the audience who are only there because it's the Chairman of the Board? Anyway, House leaves the file with Wilson fully expecting him to do as House asks. And he will.
Taub arrives home. His wife is nowhere to be found, but her laptop is sitting out for Taub to look through. Oh, except that she walks in on him as he's doing it. Busted! "You left your laptop on," is the best excuse Taub can come up with. After all the cheating he's done, you'd think he'd be better at coming up with stuff on the fly like that. Rachel already knows what's up because she saw Taub at the hotel when he no doubt thought he was being all slick and out of sight behind a large planter or something. Apparently, Rachel wasn't up to anything naughty, as she isn't upset about Taub seeing her and he admits that he didn't see anything untoward. Taub's all paranoid and suspicious still, though, and wonders why Rachel isn't more upset about Taub not trusting her or why she isn't curious about what made him check up on her in the first place. He says he noticed she took the phone into the shower with her. "I made a new friend," Rachel admits. It's a man she met in an online support group for people whose spouses cheated on them. Ah yes, I'm familiar with that group. I believe it's called Why Are You Here And Not Filing For Divorce Anonymous.
Martha asks Ramon why he was starving himself and didn't tell them. Ramon says he "wasn't trying to" starve himself, but he's on a "tight budget" and "it seemed like an okay diet." And that's pretty much the only explanation we're going to get, even though it's no explanation AT ALL. Starvation isn't a "diet." Unless you have an eating disorder, people generally want to eat and have a very difficult time going without food while somehow paying for things like rent and those tins of coffee and Tabasco sauce we saw in Ramon's apartment. Also, they don't have food stamps in New Jersey? And he's on that tight of a budget but can still afford health insurance or if not, is willing to be admitted to PPTH without it and be on the hook for thousands and thousands of dollars in medical bills? Also, HE HAS A JOB. Even if the pay's not great, there's almost no way a guy with a job can't afford FOOD. And isn't his job building stuff? That requires strength, which he wouldn't really have if he were starving. Whatever. Ramon smiles and eats some PPTH food. Martha says he must be feeling better, but he says his legs are actually "killing him." Martha asks why he's smiling, then. "I'm not smiling," Ramon smiles.
After the break, Foreman exposits that Ramon has two new symptoms: leg pain and something wrong with his brain where he expresses one emotion while feeling another without knowing it. House is enjoying this second symptom, and plays with Ramon by saying he has an easily treatable disease and will be fine after just two days of treatment. "Really?" Ramon asks, seemingly furious. House says he was just kidding to see what Ramon would do. Ramon grins, actually furious. House asks his Cottages for a differential diagnosis on Jesus, who suffered from narcissism and hallucinations. Martha plays along and comes up with schizophrenia. Somehow, this comes back to Ramon and ordering an MRI (OF DOOOM!!) on his brain.
House meets Cuddy in the lobby for yet another frosty exchange, this time about that file he forged her signature to get. And while he was at it, he snuck into Cuddy's personnel file and found that she's about to turn 45, even though she told him that she's two years younger than that. He thinks he caught her in a lie, but she says she actually lied to HR when she applied for the job at PPTH in the first place, thinking she'd have a better chance at getting it if they thought she was 31 and not 29. Um ... and then when she got the job they just took her word for it? They didn't verify her social security info and stuff like that? I mean, don't they need to see a form of ID that has your real birthdate on it for tax purposes? But I guess we already knew PPTH HR was totally incompetent. Also, House knew Cuddy when they were both students, so ... wouldn't he have kinda known her age then, way back before she ever thought of fudging it for a job? Lame.
Cuddy says this is all silly because even if House does manage to catch her in a lie, it's not going to make her suddenly love lies and forgive House for his. And since when, in the seven years we've known Cuddy, has she been such a stickler for the truth? She's not Martha and she knows House lies to her and he's been doing it as her employee for YEARS. It doesn't make any sense that she has a problem with it now except to manufacture this stupid plot and create tension in their relationship that it doesn't even need.
Taub, Chase, and Martha hang out in the MRI booth while Ramon is being scanned or murdered or whatever it is the MRI (OF DOOOM!!) does. Chase is enjoying hearing about Taub's marital woes, especially the new twist of Rachel making a male friend at the support group she has to go to because of Taub. Chase says a cheating spouse support group is "the perfect place to hit on a vulnerable woman" and is no doubt thinking right now of how early he can get out of work to do just that. Martha, on the other hand, is actually paying attention and notes a bunch of lesions in Ramon's brain. Chase says they look like MS, a
nd Ramon's malnutrition must have hid those symptoms because he had no immune system for the disease to attack. Now that he's being fed, the MS is surfacing. As for the barfing blood and everything that originally brought Ramon to PPTH, I guess that's MS too? Or malnutrition? Or he really does have the horse disease?Ramon grins that he's still feeling terrible. House notes that his friends aren't visiting him. Ramon says he asked them to pray for him. And they can't do that while visiting him? Also, they didn't notice he wasn't eating food anymore and was losing a lot of weight? Ramon's friends suck. House explains that Ramon's brain is being affected by the MS, which could be the reason why he thought it was a good idea to make that deal with God and crucify himself annually in the first place. House is hoping that with treatment, Ramon's faith will subside. Ramon is certain it won't. As it happens, they're not going to find out because Ramon is getting worse despite the medicine. Now he can't move his arm. "Your friends are not praying hard enough," House concludes.
House stands in the meeting room with his arms outstretched in his own impression of Jesus -- though he's only doing it so a tailor (who apparently makes hospital house calls and is not violating any patient confidentiality by being in the room while the doctors and Martha are working) can take his measurements. The Cottages are fighting over whether or not Ramon has MS. House weighs in and says it is MS but it's not responding to the prednisone because it's a special kind of MS that sucks even more than MS usually does -- Marburg MS, which kills in days. House says Ramon might have a chance if someone is willing to nail himself to a cross ASAP for him, or they can just try an experimental stem cell treatment. Chase reminds the group that this uses embryonic stem cells, which their devout patient is not going to be very happy about. House is annoyed with Chase for even bringing that up, as now that Martha knows about it, she'll be sure to tell Ramon and he will decline the treatment.
House, now in a tuxedo, breaks into Wilson's office and is reading over Sam's files and perfecting his Sean Connery impression when Wilson walks in. As he expected, Wilson was just looking over Ramon's daughter's file and he says the diagnosis was correct and apparently the doctors just "got lucky" and the chemo they gave her was effective. House doesn't like this, as it means he still doesn't know why the girl got better and thus has nothing to throw in Ramon's face. Wilson doesn't care, and kicks House out. On his way out, House says there are some inconsistencies in Sam's files. It looks like she lied about how much radiation she was giving to cancer patients. Wilson nods that he noticed this too, but Sam just said that the dosages in the files were accurate. House points out that all of the patients were terminal, so Sam probably just gave them more radiation than she was allowed in the hopes that it would save them. "You'd have done the same. She's a sap and she's perfect for you," House says.
Cuddy gets ready to go to the rehearsal dinner with House, who complains that he hates rehearsal dinners and this marriage is doomed to fail in two years anyway. Cuddy actually gives them less credit than that -- nineteen months, to be exact. She says New Jersey divorce law in a no fault divorce requires that couples live apart for at least eighteen months, so she's actually giving them about three weeks. Wow, I guess now that Cuddy is in a fight with House she just hates love. House, on the other hand, is in good spirits as his phone rings with an update on Ramon's condition that excuses him from having to attend the dinner. Ramon is refusing treatment, so I guess Martha is good for something after all.
Ramon says that if he accepts the stem cell treatment then God will be sure to throw a hissy fit and give his daughter cancer again. House says Ramon already went back on his word by not following Jesus's crucifixion to the letter. He put nails in his palms instead of his wrists and took ibuprofen to dull the pain. Compared to what Jesus went through, House says, Ramon's ordeal was nothing more than a "bad manicure." Ramon says it's not about copying Jesus but about showing him his faith or whatever. If he has to die in order to uphold that so his daughter may live, he will. How did Ramon explain that divorce thing to God, by the way? Because I'm pretty sure he's not a fan of it. House thinks Ramon is just afraid that their cure will prove that his faith is misplaced and he'll have to live the rest of his life miserable like all the other atheists. He tells Martha and Ramon that they're both idiots for sticking to their convictions no matter what the consequences and leaves the room. Martha follows, her lab coat not enough to cover up yet another heinous wardrobe choice (seriously, does she have to wear ties all the time?), and suggests that they bring Ramon's daughter in to talk some sense into him. House has to admit that that's a good idea.
Ramon's daughter begs her father to take the medicine. Ramon sees Martha watching in the doorway and gives her a big angry smile. He tells his daughter that God wouldn't want him to take a treatment that violates his laws. The daughter thinks God would rather that Ramon didn't die. "He doesn't want anyone dying. He's all about love!" she says. Meanwhile, her loving God gave her stage four brain cancer and only took it away when her father agreed to crucify himself every year, so ... I don't get the logic. She continues that she knows what it's like to almost die and she can't lose her weirdo father who is absolutely no fun. She begs him again to go with the stem cells, which, by the way, we have no guarantee will even work. Ramon still refuses. The daughter says she hates God now. This gives us Ramon's biggest smile yet.
Wedding reception time! I love that they brought back that semi-recurring character who plays the Chairman of the Board. Alas, where is Evil Nurse Brenda? Chase is taking advantage of the party to hook up with as many hot girls as possible. Foreman clearly disapproves of Chase's luck, saying he didn't come to this party to "get laid." Chase says they can amuse themselves by watching Taub and Rachel interact awkwardly instead.
"I went through your emails," Taub tells Rachel, because in the middle of the dance floor at a wedding reception is definitely the best time to bring this up. Taub is upset because Rachel told her "friend" things that she's never told him, like stuff about her feelings. Yes, well, that's the stuff men pretend they're interested in when they're first trying to hook up with women. Taub claims that he wants Rachel to share that stuff with him, too. Rachel says her friend is "easy to talk to" and Taub apparently isn't. "He's open and honest. He makes me feel safe," she says. Taub says that sounds like love to him, and accuses Rachel of having an "emotional affair." He says he "deserves" this from her but she can't deny that this isn't hurtful to him. Apparently she can, because she just walks away without saying anything.
House and Cuddy are actually dancing. House says Cuddy looks "simply stunning," but Cuddy tells him straight up that he won't be able to charm his way into her bed tonight until he apologizes. Then why is she even making him go with her to this wedding? I really don't understand what Cuddy is getting or wants to get out of this relationship. House says he's not trying to be charming -- he's sincerely enjoying himself. He always thought he'd hate weddings, but now that he's actually been to one, they aren't so bad. That's right -- he claims he's never been to a wedding before. I guess he wasn't invited to any of Wilson's.
Over at the chocolate fountain, Chase is trying to talk up Foreman to some lovely young ladies, acknowledging, for perhaps the first time ever, that Foreman is his "boss," although on the weekends, he is Chase's "brah." The girls give Foreman a flirty look, and he offers to buy them a round of drinks, suddenly deciding that weddings are a good place to get laid after all. Way to not have an open bar by the way, rich Chairman of the Board.
Martha stays behind and tends to Ramon, as she doesn't get invited to parties. She apologizes to him for bringing his daughter in to see him, admitting that she hoped she would change his mind. Ramon says he's surprised she didn't, actually. He is scared to die, even though he believes he's going to heaven. "I'm human," he shrugs. I don't understand why he doesn't just take the stem cell therapy and then tell God he's really sorry and figure everything is cool like all the other religious people seem to do. Ramon says some stuff about beliefs being important that we heard on this show the last eight times they had a super-religious patient on.
Back at the wedding, Taub tries to talk to Rachel again. He apologizes, but when Rachel says that her friend makes her feel better about her and her relationship with Taub, he doesn't believe her and says he feels betrayed and wants her to stop talking to her friend just like she asked him to stop sleeping with other women. Yeah, and he really kept that promise, too, didn't he? By the way, she refuses to stop talking to her friend.
House and Cuddy watch the new bride dance. House asks Cuddy what she would wear for her wedding. She says she'd wear white. "Traditionally for young, first-time brides," House says, sipping his champagne in anticipation of his victory. When Cuddy says it would be her first wedding, the trap is set and House calls her a liar. Yes, Cuddy was married for six days in 1987. House figured she must have gone through a divorce when she knew so much about New Jersey no fault divorce law. But then ... wouldn't she have been married for six days plus eighteen months? Or did she just get an annulment at that point? And who gets married for six days that isn't really drunk in Vegas? Cuddy seems to have a long history of terrible decisions when it comes to men. House says now that he's established that they've both lied to each other, they should be even. "Well played," Cuddy says. Then she walks away, clearly not about to forgive House just like she said she wouldn't so I don't know why House even tried that in the first place.
And now let's catch up with Wilson and Sam. He says that if the Chairman and his child bride have a chance of a happy marriage, then surely Wilson and Sam do. With that, he gets down on bended knee, says he loves her even more than he thought he did, and asks her to marry him. He shows her the ring he bought on the way to work one morning and she kisses him happily but ... doesn't say yes. "I don't even know what to say," she says; "where did this even come from?" She needs to find a reason to get the hell out of this, so she asks Wilson what he meant when he said he just realized that he loved her even more than he thought he did. Wilson says he knows that she was lying in those files to try to help those terminal patients, and he both agrees with and admires that. OOPS! Sam maintains that the dosages she wrote down were accurate, and the fact that Wilson thought she was lying to him before makes her very upset. She walks out.
And Foreman returns to the chocolate fountain with the ladies' drinks, only to find them -- and Chase -- gone. Foreman spots the three of them leaving arm-in-arm. Foreman consoles himself by drinking both drinks very quickly.
The reception is over, but House, Taub, Foreman, and Wilson remain. Foreman says Chase hooked up with at least three women tonight, and House tells Taub this is what he can look forward to following his inevitable divorce. Taub insists that his marriage is not over, although he did "miscalculate." He continues talking about how Rachel's hurt feelings never went away like he thought, but House is no longer paying attention as he just got his Epiphany Face. He takes off, leaving the three losers behind.
House returns to Ramon's room. "Won't be long now," he greets him. He says he just ran a PET scan on Ramon's daughter and it turns out that her brain cancer didn't go away after all. The CT scans they ran on her aren't as exact as a PET scan, so they didn't pick up all the teeny-tiny tumors still in Ramon's daughter's brain. "Looks like God broke your deal," House says. Ramon takes his word for it even after everything he's seen and heard from House so far and says he'll agree to the stem cell therapy. I think he was just waiting for an excuse, because that was way too easy.
The morning, Chase is a bit late walking into the MRI (OF STEM CELL THERAPY??) booth where Taub and Foreman are waiting for him. Foreman comments that he didn't think Chase would have the "strength" to even make it to work. Chase apologizes to Foreman for "taking off" with one of Foreman's possible dates. Foreman says Chase ditched him twice during that reception, and Chase says while the first time was just him being an asshole, the second time he "had no choice. It was a threesome!" "They're overrated," Taub sighs.
House shows Ramon his daughter's PET scan, which is clean. Yes, House was lying to make Ramon agree to the stem cell therapy. "You lead me into temptation!" Ramon accuses. House says God is just going to have to punish Ramon for that, then, or else Ramon will have to accept that God doesn't exist. For now, though, not only is his daughter fine, but Ramon is also showing signs of improvement after just 36 hours of stem cell therapy. Yeah, but ... he still has MS, right? And the really, really bad kind? So I wouldn't say things are awesome for Ramon. Ramon says this doesn't prove the God doesn't exist, just that he's cool with Ramon being tricked into stem cell therapy. God is even cooler than Ramon thought! "God is all about love!" Ramon says. House is confused; Ramon is saying that no matter what happens, it's proof that God exists. Well, yeah, House. That's called faith. How many times does he need to be told this?
Martha follows House into the hallway. She's upset that everyone knew about the fake PET scan except for her, and House says he has to keep things from her because he can't trust her. Duh, Martha. Martha says that even though she knows she would have told Ramon the truth and he'd be dead by now, she still doesn't think it's right to lie ever. "We can't work like this," she says. "I can," House says. Well, what did she expect?
Wilson arrives home to find Sam packing. Yes, she's leaving him. Wilson says they only had one fight and he admitted that he was in the wrong, so why is she leaving him instead of trying to talk things through? But Sam says she can't get over the fact that Wilson thought she lied to him. "I know where this is going, and I don't want to go there again," she says. I'm guessing Cynthia Watros is going to another show and had to be written out ASAP, because this is really abrupt. "You're quitting again," Wilson says; "so I guess you haven't changed that much." Guess not; Sam zips up her suitcase and leaves.
House reports to Cuddy's office, where she congratulates him on both saving his patient and keeping him from suing PPTH. Ramon doesn't have enough money to buy food, but he's not going to sue PPTH for millions of dollars? Okay. And here comes House's apology to Cuddy, generously borrowed from Ramon. He says he has to stop trying to prove his argument that everybody lies and take "a leap of faith." He looks her in the eye and says he'll never lie to her again. Just like Ramon, Cuddy totally falls for it because those are the words she wanted to hear regardless of whether or not they're the truth.
House returns home. Wilson is at the door, ready to talk to House about how Sam just dumped his ass. But House isn't in the mood to make anyone feel better but himself; he calls Wilson a "moron" and says Cuddy is coming over soon so Wilson has to leave. House says he apologized to Cuddy even though he knew he was lying and he will lie to Cuddy again. "I just took your advice," House says; "too bad you didn't." Too bad Wilson didn't what? Take his own advice? Take House's not to propose at a wedding? Anyway, Wilson leaves to sort things out for himself, as his best friend who once said "bros before hos" is kicking him out because his girlfriend is coming over.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.