Foreman's time is running out, and House thinks that the only option they have to find out what he's got is to autopsy the cop who just died. Problem is, Cuddy's a stickler for CDC protocol and won't let them near the body. This makes everyone yell at Cuddy. Even Cameron, who at least has the presence of mind to mutter a "sorry" afterwards. While the team scrambles to try to figure out what's wrong with Foreman and why it hasn't affected Cameron or Steve McQueen -- who House is willing to sacrifice by rubbing him all over the cop's apartment and waiting for him to get sick so he can do his autopsy -- Foreman goes blind and calls his father. Foreman's father arrives at PPTH without Foreman's mom, who we find out is sick with something that sounds like Alzheimer's, and spends almost all his time in the hospital chapel instead of at his son's bedside. Foreman starts to give up on getting better and makes Cameron his medical proxy. She accepts this position, although she won't accept Foreman's apology for copying her article and basically trying to infect her with a horrible, undiagnosed illness until she thinks he's about to kick off. With the medical proxy in hand, Cameron orders House to go through with an extremely risky brain biopsy that seems to be the only way they can diagnose him. House has one last idea though, and goes back to the cop's apartment, where he finds a tank of water that's infected with the Naegleria parasite. When he calls Cameron to tell her this, however, she already knows -- because she did the biopsy. Whoops! Oh well, when Foreman wakes up, he seems to be fine and everyone is relieved. Until, that is, he's asked to wiggle his left toes and he wiggles his right ones instead. Also, House's Clinic patient is a little girl who loves to get off.
When we last left our crew (yesterday), Foreman was suffering from the same disease that had just claimed the life of the Patient of the Week, making Foreman the new Patient of the Week. House thought that the answer lay in a bucket full of pigeon shit, but it didn't. I hope none of you spent the time between the two episodes trying to figure out what disease Foreman has based on his symptoms, since this show is notorious for creating symptoms for diseases to try to make the answer less predictable. Like when insomnia meant you had the plague. That's too bad, too, because it could have been a fun little brain teaser for the medical professionals in the viewing audience. Anyway....
We open with House marching into Cuddy's office, demanding a bone saw. That's a hell of a way to greet someone, and I must try it sometime. Cuddy knows what House is up to, though, and rejects his attempt to get a piece of Dead Joe's brain for testing. She says that it could expose the entire hospital to a health hazard, apparently ignoring the fact that, up until the point when Foreman started getting sick, everyone had been exposed to Joe plenty. It's also against CDC rules, Cuddy says, and they are now in charge of Joe's case, which is at "Biosafety Level 3." House laughs this off and manages to get a plug in for another Fox show at the same time: "Did you call Jack Bauer?" he asks. (Perhaps he could help us saw through Joe's Prison Break. And we certainly wouldn't want anyone to feel be left out of The Loop, so let's call the Cops and get them in on the action, as well. The Bernie Mac Show.) Anyway, Cuddy says that they don't have the proper safety equipment at PPTH to handle Joe's autopsy. Hell, PPTH barely has rubber gloves. So while House can do whatever he wants to Foreman, he has to keep his hands off of Joe. Even though the CDC will take three days to give PPTH the results, and Foreman only has thirty-six hours left to live.
His autopsy bid rejected, House goes for the best thing: a hurried ice pick lobotomy into Joe's brain, performed by Foreman -- who still gets to share a room with his dead neighbor, since the CDC hasn't arrived to take him out yet (much to Scott Michael Campbell's delight, since he now gets paid just to be a corpse). Cuddy knows House well enough by now to have figured out what he's up to, and comes marching down the hall, yelling at Foreman not to get the sample. That's all the motivation Foreman needs to get to work. Foreman grabs the equipment from the airlock and moves over to Joe, while Cuddy yells at some attending staff members to suit up and stop Foreman. House urges her to tell them to take their time, so that Foreman can get the sample and Cuddy won't be responsible, but she's not entertaining his rule-bending today. The point is moot anyway, though, because while Foreman does bang an icepick into a soft surface and extract a sample, it's not Joe's brain. It's the mattress he's lying on. Foreman is blind. "Intractable, unbearable pain is up . Sure you don't wanna reconsider that whole autopsy thing?" House asks Cuddy, just to make her feel as horrible as possible. That can't be making Foreman feel too great, either.
The Whiteboard is blank. House and the healthy Cottages toss a few ideas around, but they've got nothing. Cameron makes it clear that -- despite Foreman's best efforts -- she isn't sick yet, judging by her not-happy demeanor, which House points out isn't all that different from the way she usually is. This gets a chuckle from Chase, who immediately insists that he was laughing because what House said was funny, not because he's sick. Cameron's healthy, yet dour, condition tells them that the disease isn't blood-borne. Everyone stares at Foreman's empty chair for a while until maximum dramatic has been achieved, and then House tells them to treat Foreman for everything they can think of, "likely or unlikely." Chase and Cameron both object, saying that much medicine will destroy Foreman's internal organs. "There's got to be a better way," Cameron says. "OF COURSE THERE'S A BETTER WAY!" House screams. Whoa! I think he's angrier than the time he trashed the coffee cart. While the Cottages tend to Foreman, House says he'll be looking for another brain to biopsy. We can cross that guy he shot last week off the list, I'm thinking. As for everyone else, they'd better keep an eye out for drills.
Chase puts a ton of pills into Foreman's airlock. Foreman asks about Cameron's condition, and she, who was hidden behind Chase this whole time, angrily responds that she's fine and thanks him for asking. In all fairness, Cameron, Foreman did ask. Although, really, in all all fairness, he also tried to kill her. So I guess she has the right to be very angry with him right now. Foreman feels the pills and tries to figure out what House is treating him for. What Foreman figures out is that House is treating him for everything, because House has no idea what's wrong. "House is desperate. House is never desperate!" Foreman says. Right, because House never shoots his patients up with a crapload of different medicines hoping that one of them will work. Except for all the time. Chase points out that this is better than nothing, and Foreman has to agree. Foreman dry swallows, like, all of the pills at the same time, making him even better at that than House is.
Foreman's attempt to rest is interrupted by a phone call. He fumbles around the room looking for the phone before locating it and answering. Whoever decided to put the phone halfway across from the blind guy's bed wasn't very nice. It's so nice to see Evil Nurse Brenda's influence even if we can't actually see her in an episode. House is calling from inside Joe's apartment. He's looking super-sexy in his HAZMAT suit, too, ladies! There's nothing hotter than a man in a belted onesie. While he takes Steve McQueen out of his cage, House asks Foreman to tell him everywhere he went in the apartment, so he and Steve can retrace his steps. Except that Steve isn't wearing a tiny little rat-sized HAZMAT suit. And House is rubbing him all over everything Foreman touched! But...but...that's dangerous! Steve could get sick. As it turns out, that's House's plan. And how COULD he? Foreman's life isn't worth more than Steve's! After all, Steve never stole anyone's articles or stabbed them with a contaminated needle. Boo!
Once he's off the phone with House, Foreman dials another number. It's his father. "I'm not doing too good," he gasps into the phone.
Wilson stops by House's office, hoping for a warmer reception than he got last time. House is checking out a webcam feed on his compupter, and Wilson asks what he's looking at. "Cuddy's shower. Are you a fan of the Brazilian?" House answers. Well, at least Cuddy's getting some camera time. Actually, House is looking at a live feed of his own kitchen to watch Steve in a cage, and is waiting for him to start getting giddy. Nothing against rats -- I even had one as a pet once -- but not in the kitchen. Yuck. Wilson can't believe that House would infect Steve, but House says that he needed a rat with a "clean medical history," and those pet shop rats don't have it. Which is true -- that rat I had died because it had caught lice from the pet shop I bought it at, and those lice multiplied and sucked his blood and made him sick and sad. It made me sad, too. Please observe a moment of silence for Roosevelt, the cutest rat ever. Rest in peace, friend.
Anyway, Wilson is not happy to hear what the future holds for Steve, which is getting sick, hit over the head by a "cane-shaped object," and then, finally, autopsied. The only problem now with House's plan is how to tell if a rat is euphoric or not.
House is still watching his webcam feed while he tends to a Clinic patient. A mother has brought in her preschool-age daughter, complaining that when her daughter's in her car seat, she has a tendency to "rock" and "grunt." And her abs become "dystonic." "Someone's been on the interweb," House says. I love it when people call the internet the "interweb." I don't love it, though, when House's face goes flying off of the frame, as he tells the mother the news, because the camera is too close to its subject to show all of the action. And this isn't the first time this has happened in these last two episodes. A quick check reveals that both this episode and the last one were directed by Deran Sarafian, who used the same "crappy framing job disguised as artistic choice" directing technique when he directed another episode of this show. Hey Deran: BACK. OFF. Anyway, the woman has diagnosed her daughter with epilepsy and has even gone so far as to check out some local epilepsy soccer leagues. House tries to confirm the diagnosis by provoking a seizure; he turns the lights down, grabs a flashlight, and waves it in front of the girl's face while making silly sounds. All it gets from the girl is a "You're a goof!" "Takes one to know one, loser!" House responds, rather cruelly. I guess it's never too early to start chipping away at people's self-esteem on Planet House.
House comes up with a diagnosis for the girl: based on her sweatiness and happy feelings after her rocking and grunting episodes, House thinks the girl has a case of "saying 'yoo-hoo' to the hoo-hoo." Oh, I hate how they have to use euphemisms for things in the eight o'clock time slot. Mom doesn't understand, so House clarifies by playing around with some recent movie titles: "Marching the Penguin, Ya-Yaing the Sisterhood, and Finding Nemo." It sounds to me as though this will work for almost any movie title. Is Uniting the 93 too soon? How about Squiding the Whale? Sinning the City? Presenting the Mrs. Henderson? And of course: Brokebacking the Mountain. Okay, I'm done. Mom finally gets what House is saying when he says her little girl has Gratification Disorder. She covers her daughter's ears, and clarifies with House whether he's saying that her daughter is masturbating. "I'm trying to be discreet. There's a child in the room!" House says, talking out of the side of his mouth for extra-discreetness. "Oh, this is horrifying!" Mom says. Boy, I hope she doesn't have any sons. House points out that it's a lot better than having epilepsy, even though there aren't any soccer leagues for girls who like to Akeelah the Bee. With that, House and the girl exchange a high-five. Don't touch her, House! You know where that hand has been.
Cuddy finds House in the Clinic lobby and asks him why he's down there taking care of a record number of patients, while Foreman is dying. "You're upset that I'm doing Clinic hours? Wow, that is so like rain on your wedding day," House says, his pop culture references getting older and older. He'll be quoting Gerry and the Pacemakers before the end of the episode at this rate! House's down there to make a point to Cuddy -- that without access to Joe's body, there's nothing he can do for Foreman, so he might as well stop working on him entirely. Cuddy begs him to go back to his office and work on curing Foreman, and House asks her whether this is guilt talking. If so, he'd be happy to make her feel better by doing that biopsy. But Cuddy won't give in. Don't let the sun catch you crying, Cuddy.
Cameron tends to Foreman. Foreman asks Cameron how she's doing and whether she's gotten sick. If only he had cared that much before he stabbed her with that needle. Then he notices that she left a tourniquet on his bed, which is a big deal, since he used to be blind. One of the three thousand drugs House gave him is working. He doesn't look any healthier, though.
Cameron and House talk about taking Foreman off of his meds one by one until they find the one that's curing him. Chase walks in with Foreman's latest bloodwork and reports that his amylase and lipase levels are critical. The meds are destroying Foreman's pancreas.
We return from the commercial with a fun close-up on Foreman barfing. Thanks for that, show. He's feeling the effects of his dying pancreas. House asks him whether he wants to die very soon from a dead pancreas, or kind of soon from a mystery illness, since those are the only choices he has right now. Foreman scrunches up his face, looking like a cranky old man, and insists that he's doing better on the meds and doesn't want to go off of them. Unfortunately, you can't live without a pancreas. Foreman agrees to go off the meds, and then he hears a voice. It's TV's Roc, here to grant Foreman his Make-A-Wish! Oh, wait -- it's actually Foreman's father, played by the same actor who played Roc. Does anyone remember when Roc did that live show? That was risky. House knows an argument-winning advantage when he sees it, and whisks Daddy Foreman away to have a chat with Cuddy about CDC autopsy rule breaking.
"What is this?" Cuddy says when House and Daddy Foreman enter her office. "It's not 'what,' it's a 'who.' They have the right to vote now," House quips. For some reason, Daddy Foreman doesn't just deck him right then and there and leave, but sticks around to be introduced to Cuddy and ask her why House can't do the brain biopsy on Dead Joe that could save his son's life. Cuddy shoots House a glare of pure rage for putting her in this position, then tells Daddy Foreman that her decision is based on the health and safety of everyone in the hospital and that she's trying everything in her power to get the CDC to move faster. And honestly, why the hell can't they move faster? Isn't helping to cure a mystery disease by doing an autopsy, like, part of controlling a disease? Stupid CDC. Futhermore, Cuddy says that she is well aware that her actions may cost Foreman's life; she knows that her decision can have a devastating effect on family and friends, without having them "paraded" in front of her. She addresses that last part to House, who manages to roll his eyes and look ashamed of himself at the same time. On the verge of tears, Cuddy says that, if handled improperly, Foreman's illness could spread and kill a lot of people. She will not be responsible for that. With that, House and Cuddy look at Daddy Foreman for his response. "I understand," he says. House looks pissed off that his evil plan didn't work. Cuddy doesn't look particularly pleased with herself at the victory.
Daddy Foreman stands outside Foreman's isolation tank and watches him go through another muscle contracture. Daddy Foreman asks a ton of questions about it, sounding like a five year-old. Foreman lies to his dad that Dead Joe "didn't seem to suffer too much. He just went in his sleep."
Plan C in House's all-out, take-no-prisoners mission to get his hands on Dead Joe's body is to hang out outside the morgue and wait for the armed guard to take a bathroom break so House can sneak in and do his biopsy. Wilson stops by to update House on Steve's condition, which seems to be healthy. Good. Stay strong, Steve! Wilson tells House to stop blaming Cuddy for his failure to diagnose Foreman's illness, saying that he's hanging out in the morgue instead of working on the case. House bristles, and says that all he can do for Foreman is think, which he can do down in the morgue "as long as no one's bugging" him. Wilson gets the hint and leaves him alone.
Daddy Foreman asks Foreman whether he called his brother. Foreman says that he didn't, although he was hoping Daddy Foreman would bring his mother by. Foreman's brother is going to be very hurt when he finds out that he missed what could be Foreman's last days. Daddy Foreman says that he didn't even tell Mommy Foreman about this, since it would just upset her and then she'd forget about it. Foreman starts to cry. "She should know," he sobs, while the Precious Moments Emmy Scene music makes another appearance. "She's lost a lot of who she was," Daddy Foreman says. "She can't deal with something like this." Neither can Daddy Foreman, actually, which is why he chooses to believe that Foreman will be going to a "better place" if he dies from this disease because then he doesn't have to deal with the reality of his son dying. "I don't want you...to be...afraid," Daddy Foreman says very slowly. Wake up, Charles S. Dutton. "If I'm not afraid of dying, well, what the hell should I be afraid of, Dad?" Foreman asks. The answer is spiders. Foreman says he isn't "so sure" about his belief in God anymore. Daddy Foreman leaves to pray for Foreman instead of spending what could be his son's last moments on earth at his side. Daddy Foreman sucks. And he talks really slowly and makes me want to fall asleep.
You know, though, those stained glass windows in the hospital chapel sure do give off some flattering lighting. Maybe I'll start going to church. Daddy Foreman either prays or takes a nap. It's hard to tell.
Foreman does something, but I can't tell what it is exactly, because the camera is too freaking close to him again. BACK OFF, DERAN.
Cuddy sits in her office and cries. Even a Strong Woman can get emotional.
House twirls his cane and watches the CDC wheel Dead Joe away from him and PPTH. He looks pretty sad and defeated when he answers his cell phone. It's Chase, telling him that Foreman's losing his sight again, and is now curled up in his bed shaking and in pain.
With the emotional music montage over, House and the Cottages assemble in the office. House notes that Foreman's disease is progressing much faster than Joe's, and that this anomaly will tell them something. They go over the differences between Joe and Foreman, and it's Cameron, and not House, who gives us the most obvious one: "Foreman's black." "What! How long have you been sitting on this information?" House says. That's one of the few race-related jokes this show has made that I've found actually funny. I guess it's because it didn't involve the word "Mandingo" or that it was made for absolutely no reason other than to scream to the viewing audience, and to point out that House is brash and likes to push buttons. This time, Cameron's saying it, because there are certain diseases that affect black people more than whites, and that they could be looking at one of them. House likes this idea and tells them to start looking up diseases that hit blacks harder than whites. Then House checks out the SteveCam and sees that Steve still seems to be completely healthy.
Cuddy stops by Foreman's isolation tank and asks him how he's doing. Foreman asks her why she cares. "Because you're a friend and I should be here," Cuddy says. Foreman and Cuddy have very different definitions of what a friend is. He thinks that Cuddy's showing concern because she feels bad about her decision and is hoping for Foreman's forgiveness, which he isn't about to give her. Cuddy says that the regulations gave her no choice, and then Foreman jumps at the tank wall, surprising Cuddy and making her jump back a few steps. Foreman yells at her that violating those regulations could mean a few years in jail for Cuddy, while following them could mean Foreman's death. And Foreman is willing to risk Cuddy going to jail and giving up her medical career and, basically, her own life if it means that he survives. Just like he was willing to infect Cameron to save himself. What a great guy Foreman is! I really hope he lives now!
House comes by and greets Cuddy by asking her whether she's having a nice visit with Foreman, which, obviously, she isn't. In House's mouth, he's holding a sealed vial of Legionella bacteria. I wouldn't think that that would be the best place to put that vial, but then, we all know how unconcerned House is with things like biohazard safety. He explains that one difference between Foreman and Joe was that Joe had Legionnaires disease, and his symptoms started progressing much faster once he was cured of it. So House is figuring that if they give Foreman Legionnaires, it'll slow down the progress of his disease. He doesn't know why or how, but he's willing to try it anyway. Foreman would rather just be put in a coma to get rid of the pain, but House enters the isolation tank without so much as a HAZMAT suit on and tosses the Legionnaires vial inside. It shatters on the ground, spreading the disease everywhere. Interestingly, Cuddy doesn't say anything or try to stop House from doing this. Nor does she confine House to the isolation tank now that he's exposed himself to the disease and should, therefore, be as much of a public health threat as doing that biopsy on Dead Joe is.
After the commercial, Foreman has the fastest-spreading case of Legionnaires disease ever and he is not happy about it. Cameron makes a very stupid comment, and Foreman insults her for it. She tells him not to be nasty, and he whines that he's in pain, so everything he says is totally excusable. Cameron points out that House is in pain, too. "And he's a delight!" Foreman says. "He doesn't try to kill his colleagues," Cameron points out. Eh, I don't know about that. He's certainly tried to embarrass Wilson to death more than once. Foreman's thermometer dings, and he shows the results to Cameron, who's pleased to see that his fever has gone down a degree since the Legionnaires started. Foreman isn't very pleased, though, and just makes his cranky old man face. But he has to admit that the pain isn't any worse than it was before.
Wilson stops by House's office, even though every time he does, he gets yelled at. House tells him that the Legionnaires has slowed the disease down, which he's hoping will give Steve more time to get sick. Wilson asks what House will do if Steve never gets sick, and that gives House an idea.
He strolls up to Chase and Cameron, and asks Cameron which diseases affect humans but not rats. "Why are you asking me that?" Cameron asks. "Because I'm sure that you spent the first twelve years of your life dreaming of being a vet," House says. Cameron does not deny this. Then again, you'd be hard-pressed to find a little girl who doesn't want to be a vet. Unless, like me, she's allergic to cats and dogs and, therefore, has to have a rat for a pet. House is asking because Steve hasn't gotten sick, and neither has Cameron. Chase says that there are some bacterial infections that can affect humans but not rats. Cameron says Foreman tested negative for every bacterial infection you can find in a brain. So now, House says they're looking for bacteria that doesn't affect rats and doesn't show up on tests, because the body won't make antibodies for it. It also explains why Legionnaires disease had a positive affect on Joe and Foreman, since it prompted the body to make antibodies that also fought the mystery illness.
"The answer is Wisteria," House tells Foreman, who's looking pretty close to death. Oh, I'm sorry, House said Listeria. Wisteria just revives your dead acting career, but then makes you go on talk shows and say stuff that you probably shouldn't that kind of makes you seem like a maniac. And you have to make out with Ryan Seacrest. It's a very awful disease. House wants to treat Foreman for Listeria immediately, but, unfortunately, the medicine for it will also cure the Legionnaires disease. So if House is wrong, the pain will come back as the disease continues to progress. House refuses to answer any of Foreman's questions that are based on him being wrong, and puts the drugs in the airlock. Foreman doesn't want to take them. He wants a white matter brain biopsy, hoping that they'll find the disease there. House refuses, although not for the reason you'd expect him to, which would be something along the lines of Foreman only having black matter in his brain. Instead, he says that white matter brain biopsies have a tendency to turn the patient they're being performed on into something like a "retarded child" or a "small animal." Steve McQueen is a small animal and he seems pretty okay to me, so I guess that wouldn't be so bad. Foreman agrees; he wants the biopsy. House refuses, saying that spending your life being disabled ain't that great, even though he does make it look "oh-so-sexy." He's being sarcastic here, but there are several people in the forums who would beg to differ.
When it comes down to it, Foreman would rather have a white matter brain biopsy and risk a lifetime of drooling than take the antibiotics that will bring back the pain. And he makes his cranky old man face when he says this, so you know he's serious. House gets wise: "Pain makes us make bad decisions. Fear of pain is almost as big a motivator." I would actually say that fear of pain is more of a motivator than pain itself. House says that he'll do the biopsy if he has to, but "not a moment before." If there is something eating away at Foreman's brain, then I'd say the sooner, the better. Your brain doesn't magically regenerate itself just because whatever destroyed it has gone away. Well, not in real life. On this show, it does. Foreman grapples around for the antibiotics, finds them, and dry swallows them all in one gulp. House looks very sad.
House goes to the chapel to see Daddy Foreman and update him on Foreman's condition. He says that if his diagnosis is wrong, then they'll have to put Foreman in a coma to deal with the pain. Daddy Foreman says that Foreman told him House was a "manipulative bastard." "It's a pet name. I call him 'Dr. Bling,'" House responds. I don't know where that nickname would have come from, other than the fact that Foreman is black, but Daddy Foreman just nods his head and asks House what he wants from him. House wants Daddy Foreman to know that he'll be responsible for making decisions for Foreman when he's in the coma. Daddy Foreman hands off all of that responsibility to House, saying that he isn't a doctor so he shouldn't have to make any decisions based on knowledge he doesn't have. And Foreman told him that House is the best doctor he's ever worked with, so Daddy Foreman trusts him.
Cameron's working on Foreman when he reaches out and grabs her arm. She turns, afraid that this will be followed by a punch in the face, based on her recent history with Foreman. But no, he just says that he needs her help: when he goes in a coma, he'll need a medical proxy. And he wants Cameron to be it. She's surprised, as is probably the rest of the viewing audience, but Foreman explains that all the things about Cameron that make her, in his opinion, a bad doctor also make her a great medical proxy. She's cautious and emotional and she always wants what's best for the patient, unless the patient is a cheating cyclist -- in which case he can rot in hell and SUFFER. "I can't do this!" Cameron says. Foreman quotes her article, where she raised the point that family members who know nothing about medicine and are in the middle of grieving shouldn't be expected to make decisions. Using her first name, he apologizes for stealing the article and exposing her to his disease, and says that he really does think of her as a friend. At least, he does now -- since he thinks he's dying and wants to make amends. "I'll be your proxy, but we're not okay," Cameron says. But she's not just being petty and refusing to give a dying man some peace; she just knows that Foreman will get better and have the opportunity to talk to her about this later. That's plenty of motivation for Foreman not to get better, actually.
Cameron meets House outside the room. She tells him that the antibiotics are only curing the Legionnaires, and that they should do the biopsy. House still refuses; as long as Foreman isn't about to kick off this mortal coil, they have more time to wait for the antibiotics to work. And for more of Foreman's brain to be eaten away, never to return.
Chase enters the chapel and tells Daddy Foreman that they'll be putting Foreman in a coma now, and that he might want to be there for it. Daddy Foreman doesn't want to be around all that medicine stuff, even after Chase tells him that there's a chance that Foreman won't wake up. "What should I say?" the back of Daddy Foreman's head says to the camera. Very exciting camera angle there, Deran. I really feel like I'm a part of the scene now. "Just tell him you love him," Chase says.
So Daddy Foreman gets suited up and enters the isolation tank. He tells his son that everything will be okay, and then they get into a fight over whether or not Daddy Foreman knows that for sure or not. Save the petty arguments for when you aren't dying, Foremans. The Precious Moments Emmy Scene music comes on, and Daddy Foreman, his voice breaking, says: "I don't wanna miss you." "I love you too, Dad," Foreman says. They do not get into a petty argument over whether or not missing someone is the same as loving him, though. They just hold hands, and Foreman tells Cameron to put him in the coma. Right before he goes under, she tells him that she accepts his apology. I guess she isn't so sure that he'll live through the coma, after all. Foreman goes out with a smile on his face.
The morning, Wilson comes to House's office to lecture him for not being at Foreman's side when he went into the coma. Then Wilson tells him to do the biopsy. House says that he has four hours until Foreman dies, based on Joe's progress, and that he's planning on using them to figure out what's wrong with Foreman without doing a biopsy. Four hours is a lot of time, so they can take a short psychoanalysis break, as Wilson tells House that he is in a situation that he always tries to avoid by avoiding his patients: caring. That makes it difficult to do all the outrageous and risky things that are the hallmark of House's diagnostic methods. And that's why House won't do the biopsy. If it were some stranger, House would have done it without a second thought. Cameron comes in and says that she has given the antibiotics more than enough time to work, and they haven't. Foreman is in pain in his coma and Cameron wants to do the biopsy now. House says no. "NOW. We're doing it now!" Cameron commands. And she has a piece of paper that says she has the authority to make that call. House wasn't expecting this.
House, Cameron, and Daddy Foreman meet in Cuddy's office for a fight. Cuddy says the proxy document is legal, so Cameron can order the biopsy. House argues that Foreman wasn't in his right mind when he decided to make Cameron his proxy, which is funny, coming from a guy who must have been insane when he chose Stacy as his. Daddy Foreman just wants to know why Foreman didn't trust him to be the medical proxy. He's all hurt that his son wouldn't trust him after he just spent most of his time at a chapel instead of at his son's bedside because he doesn't like to deal with medical stuff. Come on now, Daddy Foreman. And somewhere, Chase sits, alone, and wonders why no one cared enough about him to make him a medical proxy or stab him with a needle or steal his articles. Poor, neglected Chase.
House gets all high and mighty, and tells Cameron that she is denying Daddy Foreman the right to make decisions for his son. I'm sure the fact that those decisions would actually be House's has no bearing on his sudden interest in patient rights. This is the same guy who told a grieving widower that his dead wife was just meat. "Oh, shut up, House!" Cuddy says. She tells Cameron to do the biopsy, and if House tries to interfere, she'll take care of it. But Cuddy can't even get an ally in Cameron, who responds with a vicious: "Yeah, you're a hero. If it wasn't for you, we'd be cutting into a dead guy's head instead of Foreman's!" Cuddy's face registers surprise, quickly followed by anger. Cameron remembers her place and mutters a "sorry." Cuddy should just fire everyone for insubordination after this episode is over.
Outside the office, House cheers Cameron on for her comments to Cuddy, then begs for more time before the biopsy so he can go back to Joe's apartment and find a dead animal that he can autopsy instead of cutting into Foreman's brain. Cameron says that House has until Foreman's O2 goes below ninety. Right now, it's at ninety-four. House goes off to the apartment without putting a HAZMAT suit on, figuring that one way or the other, they'll find out what's killing Foreman so he won't need to be protected against anything. Unless, of course, Foreman has something that's incurable. But since this is only a two-parter and not a three-parter, we can assume that it isn't.
Doctors set Foreman up for the biopsy so they can be ready to drill into his head as soon as they get the signal from Cameron.
House enters the apartment. He soon notices a bird on the balcony that keeps flying into a brick wall. He calls Cameron and tells her he found a blind bird. Only problem is, he hasn't caught it yet. He hangs up on Cameron to go catch it. The biopsy team keeps getting ready.
House stalks the blind pigeon, his cane ready to strike. He corners the bird, but it flies away before he gets close enough to hit it. House watches his last chance to prevent Foreman from brain damage fly into the New Jersey sky. But he doesn't get much time to mourn this, as he notices a dripping pipe directly overheard.
Cameron gets a call from House. "Better have the bird," she answers. Proxy Cameron is pretty hardcore, you guys. She doesn't even say "hello" anymore! I like it. House says he "screwed up." "How can you not capture a blind bird?" Cameron asks. House says that he meant he screwed up last time he went to Joe's apartment; he didn't take into consideration the time that he went there was different than the time Foreman was there. Joe's weed irrigation system is on a timer. (Seriously, that guy had the most advanced set-up for home weed use I've ever seen. Of course, that's based on the only other person I've ever seen try to grow his own weed at home, who just had one little plant in a terrarium with a heat lamp over it. He used a watering can and non-pigeon fertilizer and is alive to this day.) Cameron says that she tested all the water in Joe's apartment and found nothing. House just hangs up on her. Foreman's O2 drops to eighty-nine, and the surgical team look at her for the signal.
Meanwhile, House is examining the weed shed's pipes to find their water source. The pipes lead to the roof. Even with his bum leg, House manages to climb a ladder to the roof, where he finds an open reservoir of water surrounding by thirsty pigeons.
Cameron gets a call from House, who is bent over the microscope he brought to the apartment with him for rapid testing. He says he found a water supply that they didn't test, and it's "riddled with Naegleria," an amoebic parasite. "I know," Cameron says, looking and sounding like she's just been punched in the gut. She's looking at a Naegleria bacterium right now in the results of Foreman's biopsy. House's brainstorm came too late. "I thought I had no choice," Cameron says. And, you know, she really didn't, what with House hanging up on her, and Foreman being about to die from heart failure.
Cameron finds Daddy Foreman in the chapel and tells him that they figured out what's wrong with his son: primary amebic meningoencephalitis. I guess Foreman was exposed to it when he went to the weed shed right after it had been watered, and breathed in some water droplets filled with the stuff. Daddy Foreman asks whether it's treatable. Cameron says that they've started Foreman on anti-parasite stuff that should heal him right up, even though primary amebic meningoencephalitis is extremely fatal -- even AFTER the diagnosis has been made. It has a 97% mortality rate, and those are the cases that have been diagnosed. And those who are lucky enough to survive it, of which there are only SIX PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, are almost always left with severe brain damage. Fortunately, things like spinal taps can make diagnosing this condition a relatively fast and easy process. Too bad no one on this show actually thought to do this even though they usually do spinal taps at the drop of a hat. I know we have to suspend our disbelief and accept medical inaccuracies for the sake of good drama, and most of the time I'm fine with that, but this was pretty ridiculous. If you don't want the disease of the week to be something that causes irreversible brain damage and is 97% fatal even with a diagnosis, then don't choose a disease that causes irreversible brain damage and is 97% fatal even with a diagnosis.
But Daddy Foreman doesn't care about the holes in this script that are as big as the ones in Foreman's brain, since he loves God and hates medicine. He just wants to know if his son will be okay. This puts Cameron in the position of having to tell him that, while the parasite won't leave any "lasting damage," her little biopsy fun times probably will. They won't know for sure until Foreman wakes up.
Daddy Foreman strokes his son's hand, showing off that rarely-seen tattoo of his. As the musical montage proceeds, various cast members check on Foreman's condition, including Cuddy, who still looks extremely guilty. There's no need for that anymore, Cuddy! It's now all Cameron's fault if Foreman wakes up with brain damage! You're off the hook! Smile!
The first thing Foreman sees upon waking up is House flashing a light in his eyes. Cameron's behind him, and Daddy Foreman is behind her. "Up and at 'em!" House says, then backs off a few steps. Everyone looks worried at what Foreman will wake up like. "Can you talk?" Cameron asks nervously. "I don't feel anything," Foreman says. House makes an expression that I can't decipher, since his face goes flying up off the frame. Thank you, Deran. Please don't work on this show again. Everyone's afraid that Foreman is a quadriplegic now, but he just meant that he's not in pain anymore. "I'm okay," he says. "What are our names?" House asks. The question makes Foreman realize that Cameron did the biopsy. He sincerely thanks her for this, then tells everyone their names: "Cameron. My dad. And a manipulative bastard." Everyone is relieved. Cameron starts crying. Daddy Foreman does not start thanking Jesus, which I would have expected him to.
While House tests Foreman's reflexes, Cameron tells Foreman about the Naegleria she found in his brain and that House found in the cop's apartment, although she doesn't say that he found it just a few minutes after they started the biopsy. But everything's cool, now that Foreman's okay. Oh, wait -- when House asks him to wiggle his toes, he doesn't. But he thinks he did. Cameron's relief turns to dread. House asks Foreman to raise his right arm. Foreman raises his left arm. Well, that sucks, but based on all the stuff that could have gone wrong with the biopsy, I'd say Foreman got off pretty well. I've never had a brain biopsy and I can't tell my rights and lefts apart either. Although something tells me that Foreman's problem is a little more complicated than that.
And so ends this fun two-parter. Even though it worked out pretty well this time, I hope House doesn't resort to giving one of the cast members a mystery illness again. I mean, if Rex Morgan can exist for almost sixty years without catching a disease from one of his patients, then I think this show can do it, too.