Enterprise
4-22Recap
It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to YesterTrek
These Are The Voyages… - Some Treks go out with a bang. This one goes out with a whimper. From the fans.
05.12.200505.18.2005 D+
Keckler
4-21Recap
Bye, Bye, Trekkie
Terra Prime (2) - Baby Tri'Pol dies; Quantum makes another self-indulgent speech.
05.12.200505.16.2005 A
Keckler
4-20Recap
Moonfaker
Demons (1) - If you missed this episode, you missed the BEST of Enterprise that ever was. All I can say is: Trip and T'Pol have a baby and Mayweather has SEX! It was AWESOME!
05.05.200505.09.2005
Keckler
4-19Recap
There Was an Evil Man Who Had An Evil Furrow
In a Mirror, Darkly, Part II - Evil Leaper gets another weird accent, goes on a power trip, makes some bad speeches, and dies. And there was much celebrating throughout the land.
04.28.200505.04.2005 A
Keckler
4-18Recap
Best. Episode. Ever.
In a Mirror, Darkly, Part I - Enterprise got cancelled, and then they decided it was time to write good TV.
04.21.200504.25.2005 A+
Keckler
4-17Recap
Girls Gone Green
Bound - Trip and T'Pol are soul mates! Soooooooooooul maaaaaaaaates!
04.14.200504.19.2005 C-
Keckler
4-16Recap
The Search for Phlox
Divergence (2) - Quantum becomes a Klingon. And my brain doesn't explode, because I no longer have a brain.
02.24.200503.01.2005 D+
Keckler
4-15Recap
Reed Cries When He Spies
Affliction (1) - Quantum "walks" T'Pol through a mind-meld. And then I knew no more.
02.17.200502.23.2005
Keckler
4-14Recap
Say Goodnight, Shran
The Aenar (3) - After we meet and greet and defeat the Aenar, Trip hands in his notice and requests a transfer to a less-cancelled ship of the fleet.
02.10.200502.16.2005 C-
Keckler
4-13Recap
I'm Sorry, Trip, I'm Afraid I Can't Do That
United (2) - Quantum plays the hero. Again. The only difference is, this time he's a cancelled hero.
02.03.200502.08.2005 C+
Keckler
4-12Recap
Technobabel
Babel One (1) - The episode where Quantum puts assholishness to good use. For once.
01.27.200502.01.2005 B-
Keckler
4-11Recap
It Takes A Lot to Laugh, It Takes A Trip to Die
Observer Effect - Two Organians, who have a long way to go learn that the errand of mercy is not strained, let Hoshi and Trip die all in the name of science.
01.20.200501.24.2005 B-
Keckler
4-10Recap
Mehdalus
Daedalus - Dullest. Episode. Ever.
01.13.200501.17.2005 F
Keckler
4-9Recap
Kir'Royala
Kir'Shara (3) - Quantum performs the VULCAN FUCKING NECK PINCH and my hate has no bounds.
12.02.200412.06.2004 B
Keckler
4-8Recap
Welcome To Planet Crack Whore
Awakening (2) - Quantum still has SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA, and Keckler still hates him for it.
11.25.200411.30.2004 C-
Keckler
4-7Recap
Enterprise IV: The Trip for T'Pol
The Forge (1) - If May-Tell-That-Girl-To-Shut-Up beats someone up for calling him "tiny," I'm leaving.
11.18.200411.22.2004 B
Keckler
4-6Recap
Wrath Of Retcon
The Augments (3) - I feel ugly. Oh, so ugly. I feel ugly and frightful and vile! And I pity. Anyone who can't control their bile.
11.11.200411.15.2004 C+
Keckler
4-5Recap
Flight of the Khannabees
Cold Station 12 (2) - More scheming. More evidence to the contrary that the Khannabees are at all superior, except in repulsiveness. More beer.
11.04.200411.09.2004 C-
Keckler
4-4Recap
Boredomland
Borderland (1) - Boredomland, feels like I'm going to lose my mind. You just keep on pushing my snark over the boredomland.
10.28.200411.01.2004 C-
Keckler
4-3Recap
Home on the Rage
Home - Oh, give me a home where the CRACK WHORES do roam, where the captain and the captain go get laid. Where seldom is heard an inspiring word but the suits on the lot still get paid. Home, home on the rage, where the fear and the anti-hope do roam.
10.21.200410.25.2004 B-
Keckler
4-2Recap
Silik Stalkings
Storm Front, Part II - The only good Nazis are dead Nazis, so Quantum kills them.
10.14.200410.18.2004 F
Keckler
4-1Recap
Ding Dong, Daniels is Dead!
Storm Front, Part I - Nazis are evil, y'all.
10.07.200410.13.2004 C-
Keckler
3-24Recap
Breaking the Furrow
Zero Hour - Quantum saves the world. A lot.
05.25.200405.31.2004 A
Keckler
3-23Recap
Hoshi Crack Code and I Sorta Care
Countdown - Hoshi is tortured, and her friends eat steak.
05.18.200405.24.2004 B-
Keckler
3-22Recap
In Sonar, No One Can Hear You. Period.
The Council - Quantum testifies before the Xindi of the Round Table that he did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky; he doesn't know where the WMD are; and he doesn't remember funneling money to the Contras. Oh, and that Sphere Builders are bad.
05.11.200405.14.2004 B
Keckler
3-21Recap
Back to the Furrow
E2 - The current Enterprise meets their fourth cousins twice removed.
05.04.200405.10.2004 C-
Keckler
3-20Recap
Degra Dearest
The Forgotten - Degra proves to be an Enterprise ally. The crew celebrates by rolling in dirt.
04.27.200405.03.2004 B-
Sara M
3-19Recap
Jane's Addiction
Damage - Quantum swabs decks, administers rum, and becomes a pirate. The eye patch is on backorder, along with T'Pol's hit of Trellium-D.
04.20.200404.23.2004 B
Keckler
3-18Recap
Imzadi Prime
Azati Prime - Quantum sacrifices himself for the good of humanity, and then manages to screw humanity.
03.02.200403.07.2004 B-
Keckler
3-17Recap
Buggy Dearest
Hatchery - Quantum adopts some bugs at the local ASPCEgg.
02.24.200402.27.2004 B
Keckler
3-16Recap
Phlox's Runaway Imagination
Doctor's Orders - Phlox puts the crew in comas and invents himself an imaginary friend.
02.17.200402.20.2004 B+
Keckler
3-15Recap
A Sexperiment in Criticism
Harbinger - Trip and T'Pol do the nasty.
02.10.200402.13.2004 B-
Keckler
3-14Recap
Flight Of The Simulator
Stratagem - Quantum and a Xindi hole up in a space bunker and resist braiding each other's dreds.
02.03.200402.08.2004 B+
Keckler
3-13Recap
Blue Swayed Crews
Proving Ground - Quantum renews his relationship with Excedrin P.M. who does so well he gets a new moniker!
01.20.200401.25.2004 B
Keckler
3-12Recap
Let That Be Your Last Bakulafield
Chosen Realm - Quantum brings some religious freaks aboard, and they start blowing themselves up until he agrees to kill himself.
01.13.200401.16.2004 B-
Keckler
3-11Recap
Carpenter Street
Carpenter Street - Quantum and T'Pol take on Detroit.
11.25.200311.30.2003 B
Keckler
3-10Recap
Trip's Brain
Similitude - Trip is cloned and, oddly, has better luck with the ladies. But then he dies, so it all evens out.
11.18.200311.22.2003 B-
Keckler
3-9Recap
Blazing Furrows
North Star - Quantum has his Qrew circle their furrows as he saves an entire town from an asshat and has a profound effect on their future evolution.
11.11.200311.15.2003 B-
Keckler
3-8Recap
Twilight in the Garden of Good and Better
Twilight - Mr. Mike Sussman -- with the aid of Tom Paris directing and Scott Bakula acting (finally!) -- gives us an episode that knocks every other episode out of the Rose Bowl. And yes, messages for the Horseman of the Apocalypse can be left at my apartment.
11.04.200311.06.2003 A+
Keckler
3-7Recap
A Horse! A Horse! My Boredom For A Horse!
The Shipment - Quantum goes to a planet to learn more about the Xindi weapon. If that doesn't get across sufficiently how ass-crackingly boring this episode was, be happy you missed it.
10.28.200311.01.2003
Keckler
3-7Recap
All Work And No Play Makes Keckler A Dull Girl
All Work And No Play Makes Keckler A Dull Girl - All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl.
10.31.200310.31.2003
Keckler
3-6Recap
Hoshi and the Beast
Exile - In a tale as dull as mime, Hoshi plays Beauty to a telepathic Beast who has designs on her for the rest of her life.
10.14.200310.16.2003 D+
Keckler
3-5Recap
The Vulcansnatchers
Impulse - T'Pol finds her personal kryptonite, and it brings out a rash.
10.07.200310.12.2003 B+
Keckler
3-4Recap
A hand, a scan, a canal, Panama!
Rajiin - Quantum adopts a stray sex slave who gives new meaning to the expression "the laying on of hands."
09.30.200310.03.2003 C-
Keckler
3-3Recap
Unfrozen Caveman Captain
Extinction - This is the one where we discover that the only way to get Bakula to stop furrowing is to slap some latex on him.
09.23.200309.29.2003 C-
Keckler
3-2Recap
The Pirates of the Implants
Anomaly - Quantum is very, very angry. Some alien pirates steal stuff off of the ship. Quantum is very, very angry. They get their stuff back from the pirates. Quantum is very, very angry. They come upon some Xindian information. Quantum is very, very angry.
09.16.200309.20.2003 B-
Keckler
3-1Recap
Xinderella
The Xindi - While Quantum and Reed deal with Pat the Androgynous Alien and his finger fetish, T'Pol and Trip rub nodes for mutual gratification.
09.09.200309.13.2003 B-
Keckler
2-26Recap
Starfleet and Coffee, Maple Syrup and Damn
The Expanse - In an anvil ripped from the headlines, Earth has a pre-emptive strike launched against it by some alien species with a Middle-Eastern-sounding name.
05.20.200305.25.2003 B-
Keckler
2-25Recap
Booty
Bounty - T'Pol gets false sex pains while locked in a small room with Phlox, and Quantum is featured on Kronos' Most Wanted.
05.13.200305.16.2003 F
Keckler
2-24Recap
Fist Fight
First Flight - Quantum relives his glory days of bar fights, making off with government property, and meeting Trip for the first time.
05.13.200305.15.2003 D+
Keckler
2-23Recap
The Importance of Being Earnest Borgnine
Regeneration - Quantum and Qrew encounter the Borg. Trekkies everywhere weep at the death of continuity.
05.06.200305.08.2003 B-
Keckler
2-22Recap
A Slave's Narrative
Cogenitor - Trip meddles with the reproductive practices of a tri-gendered species.
04.29.200305.02.2003 A
Keckler
2-21Recap
Crazy Like A Phlox
The Breach - Phlox rocks. Trip, Reed, and May-Chanko-Nabe Treklunk on the cave set. T'Pol needs cucumbers, and Quantum is a dick. Again.
04.22.200304.24.2003 A
Keckler
2-20Recap
Home Is Where the Snark Is
Horizon - A Very Special Episode, May-Punk returns to the familial fold, but is dismayed not to find a Nutri-Pak lamb roasting on a spit for him.
04.15.200304.18.2003 B
Keckler
2-19Recap
Manura Penthe
Judgment - Imagine rediscovering Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country and finding that it had been replaced by a soul-sucking Bermaga-magicked episode. Now, get drunk. Yes, that's about where I am as well.
04.08.200304.10.2003 D+
Keckler
2-18Recap
Crossing Over and Out
The Crossing - Wisps of vapor, or blobs of light, enter and re-enter Tucker, Reed, and other crew members. This pisses off Captain Quantum. Again. Some more.
04.01.200304.02.2003 C-
Alex Richmond
2-17Recap
Mallomar
Canamar - The action was soft and marshmallowy, and the plot was like the chocolate I once left it in the cupboard above the stove and forgot about it until it turned chalky white around the edges. I got a craving and had nothing better around, so I ate it. It left a really bad taste in my mouth.
02.26.200303.01.2003 C-
Keckler
2-16Recap
Future Nonsense
Future Tense - The crew finds a mysterious pod with a John Doe cross-breed inside and start speculating all over the place. Two sets of aliens show up to lay claim to the pod, and get violently shirty when they meet Quantum's forbidding furrow. T'Pol considers cross-breeding.
02.18.200302.21.2003 C+
Keckler
2-15Recap
Grease Fire
Cease Fire - The Andorians are back to butt heads with the Vulcans. That Quantum is called in to referee all the head-butting serves only to complete my boredom.
02.11.200302.15.2003 C-
Keckler
2-14Recap
Melded Cheese on Melda Toast
Stigma - That cute little intrusion B'Stiller forced on T'Pol seems to have had deleterious effects. And Excedrin PM cannot come to the rescue on this one.
02.04.200302.08.2003 B-
Keckler
2-13Recap
From Dusk 'Til Yawn
Dawn - Trip and Don at Gas Giant. Trip, his chest hairy, his chest bare. Don, his eyes yellow, his mouth full of antibiotic spittle. Keckler, her head sore, her beer bottles depressingly dry.
01.07.200301.09.2003 D+
Keckler
2-12Recap
Stormship Troopers
The Catwalk - While being riders on the storm of the twenty-fourth century in the nacelles, Quantum and qrew leave themselves open to an alien boarding. Since he's gotten really out of practice, Quantum decides it's time for him to do a little heroic furrowing.
12.17.200212.21.2002 B+
Keckler
2-11Recap
Kiss Me, Ingrate
Precious Cargo - Trip, who IS from Florida, rescues a bit of crumpet from her crystal coffin, but as soon as he gets his Universal Translator working, he wishes he hadn't bothered. We all do.
12.10.200212.13.2002 F
Keckler
2-10Recap
The Inner Light's Pox-Ridden Bastard Cousin
Vanishing Point - Hoshi gets trapped in a world where she's doomed to wander for all eternity in a jog bra, but no one can see her to admire her skin. Except the viewers, of course.
11.26.200211.29.2002 F
Keckler
2-9Recap
The Naked Then
Singularity - Yet another Trek series seeks refuge in a storyline where the crew is afflicted by a weird illness that causes them to act comically. Bakula was actually good in this one -- or was that just the radiation sickness talking?
11.19.200211.22.2002 B+
Keckler
2-8Recap
I Left My Communicator In San Francisco
The Communicator - Quantum and Reed attempt to pick up where "A Piece Of The Action" left off. But in the past. And without the funny voices, mannerisms, and Spocko in a zoot suit, helping Kirk drive a "flivver." If Bermaga were going to borrow from the past (again!), couldn't they at least have made it good? JUST THIS ONCE?!
11.12.200211.14.2002 D+
Keckler
2-7Recap
Seven of Whine
The Seventh - In her past life, T'Pol visited H'zelden to purge her psyche of a pesky guilt complex, but when she starts experiencing flashbacks of murder most foul, Quantum becomes her therapist, shoulder to cry on, and bosom buddy. While T'Pol has multiple nervous breakdowns on a frozen planet, Trip, Reed, and Phlox pal around on the ship and discuss loose stools.
11.05.200211.08.2002 B-
Keckler
2-6Recap
Moroners
Marauders - Emboldened by a headband from Footloose, Quantum saves a dusty locale from pushy mineral rights blackmailers.
10.29.200210.31.2002 F
Keckler
2-5Recap
Pets And Petulance
A Night In Sickbay - Now that Quantum's got the Furrowing Butt Chump down pretty well, for his trick, maybe he can be a captain.
10.15.200210.20.2002
Keckler
2-4Recap
Maximum Over(warp)drive
Dead Stop - Stephen King is no longer writing novels, because he decided to write for Enterprise. Okay, not really, but it was still the best episode they've done yet, what with the dead people and the Evil Service Station and the actual acting.
10.08.200210.13.2002 A
Keckler
2-3Recap
Starship Mine
Minefield - Nothing brings two men together quicker than the disarming of an anti-starship device, discussing bodily functions, and staring Death in the face long enough to tell him he's got bad breath.
10.01.200210.04.2002 B-
Keckler
2-2Recap
A Vulcan's Tale
Carbon Creek - Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a pointy Vulcan, who walked a pointy mile and fell in love with a human for awhile.
09.24.200209.26.2002 C+
Keckler
2-1Recap
Search For Yesterday
Shockwave, Part II - Quantum and Daniels plagiarize Spock and Data's books in "City on the Edge of Forever" and "Time's Arrow" as they make use of local resources, plus a few gadgets conveniently brought from Enterprise, to press The Big Temporal Reset Button In The Sky.
09.17.200209.20.2002 B-
Keckler
1-26Recap
Quantum Leap of Faith of the Heart
Shockwave, Part I - Another show, another cliffhanger. Quantum has to play Time Bandits with Dead Man Walking Daniels in order to understand some level of engineering and get out of a sticky situation with the mass destruction of a colony. And to keep myself entertained, I pull more Withnail and I references out of my butt that are largely going to go over the heads of my readership.
05.21.200205.27.2002 A
Keckler
1-25Recap
Bad Moon Risan
Two Days And Two Nights - When they all downloaded their individual travel guides for shore leave, Mayweather chose The Idiot's Guide to Risa, Quantum got Lonely Planet, Trip and Reed shared Cheap Eats and Sleeps, and Hoshi got off without one. Back on the ship, Phlox got under the covers and made T'Pol read Goodnight, Moon.
05.14.200205.18.2002 B
Keckler
1-24Recap
Like sands through my beer glass
Desert Crossing - After an offal bad experience with Rocky Mountain oysters, Trip and Quantum decide not to get involved in a land war over a few drip castles, instead going out to work on their tans. But wouldn't you know it, Trip starts trippin', and Quantum has to force-feed him radon-tainted water while ordering him around a lot. T'Pol launches a search party and explains the finer points of the Montana outback to Hoshi.
05.07.200205.13.2002 B
Keckler
1-23Recap
A Hero Ain't Nothing But A Sandwich
Fallen Hero - While providing amnesty for a disgraced Vulcan ambassador, we discover that Quantum's got a whole closetful of Furrowed Brows we haven't seen yet. Linwood from Angel warps in, just as slimy as ever, to show us his new hairdo. Trip frantically slaps band-aids on the engine as they push warp five, and Reed casually mentions that he likes shooting other people. On Brown-Noser Deck, T'Pol spends a lot of the episode apologizing to the Ambassador for the way Hoshi's quarters smell, and Phlox cries.
05.07.200205.10.2002 C+
Keckler
1-22Recap
Mucus of Borg
Vox Sola - After offending ANOTHER alien race -- how many does that make? I can't count that high -- Enterprise is infiltrated by a mucus plug that squats in a cargo bay, ensnaring random crewmen in its glutinous strands. Luckily, one of the ensnared is Quantum, who embarks on a diluted water polo allegory, forcing the still-conscious crewmembers into comas, until he manages to bore himself catatonic. In other news, Reed applies for a patent, Phlox gives a dissection lesson, Hoshi and T'Pol make sweet algorithms, and May-Witness-To-The-Execution shows us why he's better off phoning in his lines.
04.30.200205.04.2002 B
Keckler
1-21Recap
You Can Call Me Al
Detained - In a rather predictable and forced storyline, Mayweather and Quantum must confront and overcome their aversion to the Suliban complexion as they find themselves birds of a feather, flocking together a bit. Shadows of "Shadows of P'Jem," anyone? The Dean of Quantum's life Leaps in for a guest spot and some latex treatment on his nose.
04.29.200204.30.2002 B-
Keckler
1-20Recap
Night of the Living Dread
Oasis - To-day is gonna be the day that they're gonna find out what's true / By now Odo should've somehow realized what he's gotta do / Trip doesn't believe that anybody feels the way he does about her now / Backbeat the word was on the street that the blood in their body's out / Quantum's sure he's heard it all before but he still had to use the pout / And all the skies they warp along are winding / And all the stars that lead them there are blinding / There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how / Because maybe, this will be the one that brains me / And after all / Trek's my wonderbawl.
04.02.200204.07.2002 C
Keckler
1-19Recap
Raiders of the Lost Vault
Acquisition - The crew gets knocked out by mysterious aliens with butt-shaped heads, who turn Quantum into their beast of burden and long to make T'Pol their sex slave, while Trip displays the latest line of panties from Victoria's Secret's Men in Space line.
03.26.200203.31.2002 B
Keckler
1-18Recap
A Private Little Hunt
Rogue Planet - Without any real understanding of the situation or players involved, Quantum helps an indigenous alien species he knows bubkes about -- except that it can show up as a pretty lady in a negligee -- to combat another species he knows even less about. What that man doesn't know could fill a black hole. The rest of the cast stands around being conscientious objectors to the Plot Movement, but we do find out that Mathra and Reed both have twenty-eight merit badges and the captain only twenty-six. Nyah!
03.19.200203.25.2002 D+
Keckler
1-17Recap
The Inner Fright
Fusion - On their way to yet another astrological wonder of Quantum's childhood, the crew runs across some sitar-playing, caftan-wearing, acid-dropping Vulcans. When Quantum's not preoccupied with sticking his big gin blossom into everyone else's business, he's making Trip do it for him, while T'Pol holes up in her room to perform a mind-altering experiment with Ben Stiller's Vulcan twin.
02.26.200203.04.2002 C+
Keckler
1-16Recap
Strifeboat
Shuttlepod One - Trip and Reed perform a field experiment to test the hypothesis that, under the right circumstances, they would use their last breath to bicker.
02.12.200202.18.2002 F
Strega
1-15Recap
Stuck Inside Of Coridan With The P'Jem Blues Again
Shadows Of P'Jem - Trip grates. Reed infiltrates. T'Pol rotates. Quantum gyrates. Hoshi prevaricates. Phlox medicates. Mayflower vacates, and Keckler continues to stagnate.
02.05.200202.09.2002 C
Keckler
1-14Recap
Holier ThanThou
Sleeping Dogs - Reed, T'Pol, and Hoshi are stranded on a Klingon ship where Reed plays with a new kind of torpedo, and T'Pol shows Hoshi the Vulcan Way. Back on Enteprise, Quantum studies the Klingon culture and Trip stands around making dumb comments, while Phlox ties a female alien to a bed. Kinky stuff. It gets even kinkier when you bring all the random plot holes into it. Okay, it really doesn't, but I made you look.
01.29.200202.04.2002 F
Keckler
1-13Recap
Doctor's Day
Dear Doctor - Pssst! Hey! Yeah, you! C'mere, I gotta tell you something. Okay, you ready? Enterprise didn't suck this week. Shhh! I know, I know! The story line has been done before, and Reed was virtually nonexistent, but still, Quantum's God complex is showing signs of going into remission, and Hoshi trickled a bit more out of minor-character-hood. So anyway, pass it on!
01.22.200201.27.2002 C+
Keckler
1-12Recap
Cannon in D-fense
Silent Enemy - What can you get the man in your life who has all the phase pistols, torpedoes, and minor explosions his little heart desires? Resequenced protein, obviously. El Capitan Quantanamo orders Hoshi on a top-secret mission to discover Reed's favorite foodstuffs, while the rest of the crew wastes time fighting Praying Mantis aliens who manage to use the humans' mother tongue against them.
01.15.200201.22.2002 B-
Keckler
1-11Recap
Tempus fudges-it
Cold Front - In a story arc that rivals the convolutions of my small intestine, the Enterprise crew receives a visitor from the future. Hint: It's not Michael J. Fox. In other news, Porthos proves his worth above diamonds, Reed marries me, and Trip can't stop showing people his warp core. Meanwhile, Phlox finds a bit of religion, and Quantum entertains Heaven's Gate. Turning to the police blotter, the crew is hauled in and charged with breaking several laws of physics. Again.
11.27.200112.02.2001 F
Keckler
1-10Recap
Play Dom Jot, Hu-mon!
Fortunate Son - Trailing extensive morals, Enterprise rushes to the rescue of a barge vessel after a Nausicaan attack. Mayflower gets back in touch with his "boomer" roots, while T'Pol plays nice with children. Trip's face-time was fairly short and his lines were blessedly shorter, but it does look like Reed made friends with the bronzing cream this time week. Special cuteness appearance by Porthos the Dog.
11.20.200111.25.2001 C-
Keckler
1-9Recap
Nobs And Nonsense
Civilization - Dude. T'Power Ranger is just rising in Keckler's estimation after this episode, and that can only be a sign of the Apocalypse. But we'll go with it because it's making Keckler happy. Let's see -- not enough Reed, so that means double Keckler's Earl Grey quotient this week; Hoshi had good hair, but we didn't see it nearly enough even when there was crucial a point when Quantum started hearing Pig Latin; Trip stayed out from underfoot for the most part; and Quantum got a little hot alien love. Well, it wasn't that hot. Like, Keckler still has her stomach contents.
11.13.200111.19.2001 C-
Keckler
1-8Recap
Here Comes The Bride, Siliconed, Green, And Snide
Breaking The Ice - T'Pol's nuptial hour draws on apace but o! methinks how fast this new show wanes. But soft! What wind through yonder ass breaks? It is the Captain, and Quantum is that name which by any other would still stink at his job. Mayweather and Reed are as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, but shalt not escape calamity. Get thee to a poddery, go! Was there ever a recapper that hath drunk so much Post Road as I today?
11.06.200111.12.2001 C-
Keckler
1-7Recap
Scent of a Vulcan
The Andorian Incident - I'm attempting to pick up the shattered pieces of my expectations and paste my faith back together, but since I only have this episode to use as a fixative, I don't think I'm getting anywhere fast. It sucked. It was stupid, boring, contrived, trite, and predictable beyond all possibly lousy belief. The Blue Man Group arrives at some Vulcan monk-hole and delivers bruises all around. There's some finagling and a "surprise" ending. Oh, and this episode was brought to you by Degree. I mean really, what was with all the comments about B.O.? I loathed this last hour of television so much, it made me miss Voyager.
10.30.200111.06.2001 F
Keckler
1-6Recap
Friendship 2 1/2
Terra Nova - Once upon a time, there was this colony and it got lost. And there was some radiation. It was bad. Then it got found. And it was good.
10.23.200110.29.2001 C-
Keckler
1-5Recap
Cap'n Don't Preach
Unexpected - 'Cuz he's not keepin' the alien. Trip's called upon in the line of booty to repair some warp coils on an alien ship where the crew eats the walls, grows grass on the floor, and utilizes other mind-altering devices. Trip returns with a bun in the oven and no clue how it happened. I'd mention the rest of the crew, but TPTB seem to have forgotten their existence. It all just teaches you to keep your fingers in your own pebbles.
10.16.200110.22.2001 B
Keckler
1-4Recap
Requiem For A Transporter Beam
Strange New World - An away team is sent to an uninhabited world, but things get trippy with some psychotropic pollen.
10.09.200110.11.2001 C+
Omar G
1-3Recap
The Worm Turns
Fight Or Flight - In space, life can get kinda dull. Especially when there's no need for quality DeCon time. But be careful what you wish for. Our stir-crazy crew stumbles upon an abandoned ship and finds some pretty sketchy experiments going on. Naturally, they must do some meddling and some butting in until they get caught with their hand in the cookie jar by a big, scary looking spaceship that decides Enterprise should be its science fair project. I don't remember what else happened, because I fell asleep. Read the recap; it should bring you up to warp speed.
10.02.200110.08.2001 C+
Keckler
1-1Recap
Yesterday's Enterprise
Broken Bow - Just sit right back and you'll read a snark,/A snark of a cosmic trip/That started from a stellar port/Aboard this new starship./The mate was a skanky Vulcan chick,/The skipper brash with pride./The astronauts set warp that day/For a three-hour ride, a three-hour ride./The Klingon started getting loud,/The Suliban were shrewd,/If not for the courage of the fearless crew /The mission would be screwed, the mission would be screwed./No cloak, no shields, no chamber pots,/Not a single phaser store/Like Robinson Crusoe,/As ancient as of yore./So join us here each week, my pals,/You're sure to shout with glee,/At seven horny space cowboys,/Here on Mighty Big TV!
09.25.200110.01.2001 B
Keckler