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Quantum's raiding the kitchen one night, giving Porthos some verboten cheese when Daniels shows up and tells him he needs to get his butt to 2004 Detroit, Michigan. Daniels and his time-traveling coterie have no idea what the Xindi are up to but since nothing good happens in Detroit, they know it can't be good. Daniels deputizes Quantum to go to Detroit and stop whatever it is that's going on. Quantum invites T'Pol, and they get some of those funky futuristic clothes everyone will be wearing in 2004 before they step through a doorway and right into the Motor City. With some of Daniels' gadgets on loan, they steal a car and some money from an ATM and trace the Xindi readings to a warehouse on Carpenter Street. Some low-life has been abducting blood bank donor and handing them over to Snake Eyes who are manufacturing a bio-weapon geared to wipe out all the bloodtypes on Earth. Quantum and T'Pol beat the low-life up for information and then take him out for burgers before making him take them to the Xindi's warehouse. Quantum poses as a B negative donor and finds the bio-weapon. He also shoots up all three Snake Eyes right before one of them aerates the deadly virus into the atmosphere. T'Pol and Quantum return to their future with some Snake Eyes souvenirs, leaving the low-life to babble to Detroit cops about creatures with ray guns as they arrest him. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
I promised everyone a kinder, gentler Keckler, and that's what you got. So while a great many of you hated, despised, and continue to vilify this episode, I liked it. Either the California sun is softening my brain, or it was just good. I found it to be quite funny, and, to some extent, I wasn't one hundred percent certain of the resolution. I mean, they blew up Earth, why not release Killer Chicken Pox into the wind to clean up in a later timeline? The fact that the Xindi only had time to modify it for six blood types made me think it was very possible. Sure, I could rant on about the science -- like the stupid comment Daniels made about stuff not yet reaching him in the timeline -- or because Quantum adapted way too quickly to lots of stuff in the twentieth century, but I still liked this episode in spite of those glaring holes. Instead of getting indignant that this was a "rip-off" of "A Piece of the Action," I was charmed by the homage. There are most certainly plenty of other episodes that I viewed as ham-handed, trite, or, worse, boring but this? I enjoyed.
A word on the episode title: it's all the fault of the Evil Dr. Mathra. He went around repeating it over and over until the only way to get him to clam chowder up was to use it. So I did.
It's Wednesday, and it's time for you to rotate your tires.
De-troit. A guy gets out of his car and walks into a shabby building. He really looks like Malcolm with a dead animal on his head, and it took me awhile to disprove that wasn't actually what they were trying to show us. In Not Malcolm's crapulous apartment, crap is lying everywhere. Not Malcolm grabs generic beer from the green fridge and swigs. He goes to the bathroom and pulls a slice of pizza from a box lying on the sink. Because keeping old pizza in the bathroom shows exactly how down-and-out you are, even though we just saw him take beer out of a fridge. Whatever. Maybe he prefers to dampen the crust with the delicate moisture that exudes from shower steam -- it can bring a certain sliminess to the cheese. He's champing on the limp slice when his phone rings. Not Malcolm stares at the phone like, "I know there's a noise. I hear a noise. What the hell IS that noise? It sounds like a phone but that doesn't make sense because even though I OWN a phone, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WHEN IT RINGS!" Finally, the freak decides he'll give answering the phone a go. A voice asks if he's made his "selection." Is that the new thing? Movie Phone actually calling you back in order to give you more time to figure out what you want to see and where you want to see it? Cool. Not Malcolm tells him everything's all set, and confirms that the money is the same as last time. We jump to the Movie Phone guy, but we can only see his legs walking through a dark room. Movie Phone Guy tells to him to be careful with the sedative, since he nearly killed the last one. They say their fond farewells, and we see that Movie Phone Guy is actually Snake Eyes. Hmm. Glad to see he's getting additional work on the side. The revenge business doesn't pay that well.
Not Malcolm picks up a prostitute who recognizes him "from this morning" since he brought her "the apple juice at the clinic." She gets in the car. Not Malcolm drives a bit and says, "Georgia Tandy, O-negative." Now there's a pickup line that's never been tried on me. Georgia Tandy, O-Negative wonders how the hell he knows that. They drive for a bit before Not Malcolm pulls over and chloroforms her. Reaching above his visor, he pulls down a box with a syringe in it and dopes Georgia Tandy, O-Negative up. I hope she wakes up with both her kidneys. Not Malcolm drives to a warehouse, rings a buzzer, and says "Loomis" when the voice says, "Yes?" The gate pulls back, and Not Malcolm But Loomis drives on through. Whenever I hear the name Loomis, I can't help but think of the mean Macy's man with the pencil moustache who needed to help Auntie Mame with her C.O.D. sales slips. I really wonder how many people are actually going to get that reference. I'll bet Demian will. Anyway, this Loomis carries Georgia Tandy, O-Negative into the warehouse and drops her on a bed. There's about two or three others also on similar beds and not looking very peppy. Loomis sticks an IV into her hand and puts some things on her forehead that look like cortical stimulators. He checks out a briefcase full of money and leaves with it.
Enterprise. Quantum's prowling around in the kitchen looking for a midnight snack. I love midnight snacks. I like afternoon and evening snacks too. He pulls what looks like a platter of deli-sliced, honey-smoked turkey breast out of one bin and a plate of government yellow cheese out of the other. Porthos yips. Aw! Stop giving the pooch cheese, you idiot. Doesn't he carry Scooby Snacks around? Okay, I admit that when the Evil Dr. Mathra's not looking, I feed Hunca Munca and Poppadum scraps from the table, but it's usually meat stuff, not dairy products that make big painful messes in their digestive tracts. Quantum says, "Cheese?" and tosses two pieces to Porthos. He turns around, saying, "This is your last piece," when what to his wondering eye should appear? But Daniels in full time-traveler gear! Daniels rubs Porthos and asks "Jonathan" how he's been. Quantum doesn't flinch and says, "'Bout time you showed up." Quantum supposes Daniels already knows how much their mission has changed since he last saw him on the corner of Apocalypse and Second Coming. Daniels professes not to know any more about the Xindi and their Weapon of Crass Destruction than Quantum does. Quantum angrily challenges this, saying Daniels and his ilk are supposed to be babysitting the timeline: "Hasn't all this happened already?" "History doesn't mention anything about a conflict between humans and Xindi," Daniels says. Quantum doesn't know how that can be. "The events that are taking place are the results of temporal incursions -- they are not supposed to be happening," Daniels doesn't explain. "But they are happening!" Quantum thunders the obvious. "Yes, they are," Daniels agrees, "but the outcome hasn't reached us yet. It takes awhile for changes to ripple through the timeline." Say what? Is the outcome caught in a temporal traffic jam? No, wait, it's fogged in at The Impossible and Invented for Stupid Purposes Airport, and its cell phone is experiencing outages due to scientifically groundless roaming charges. In fact, if you call the outcome's office to demand that he speed up the work, all you'll get is a voice message saying, "I'm out of the office right now but don't worry, the outcome is in the mail." Sheesh -- that is the ONE thing that bugged me in this episode. Also, Quantum mentions that Daniels is supposed to know things in his "thirtieth century," when actually Daniels is from the "thirty-first" century. Writers? Is it really SO much to ask that you check your scripts, or at least watch the episodes? Wait, that really is too much to ask. Sorry. Basically, Daniels knows a whole lot of nothing. He doesn't even know if this is the crucial role in History's Sandbox that Quantum is supposed to play in. Anyway, Daniels tells Quantum and his J. Crew shirt that he has to go back in time to Earth to stop the Xindi from doing whatever it is that they're doing in Detroit, Michigan. Daniels still leaves me with feelings of creepiness -- I don't trust him.
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the Vulcan sleeps too-niiight. Quantum wakes up the Vulcan to tell her to put all her time-travel doubts aside, because they're going on National Lampoon's Temporal Vacation. While all this is going on, Porthos scampers in and settles down on T'Pol's yoga mat. Man, just like my cats! Every time I pull out my purple Tapas mat to commune with my inner breath and pull my navel back to my spine, Poppadum comes over and gets in the way. I bend down to wide-leg downward dog and I get a mouthful of orange purring fur. It's like I'm more attractive to them when I'm rolling around on the floor. How can I relax my body without collapsing my body with a soft plushy thing butting her head into my hands to earth? T'Pol questions why Daniels can't do this all himself, and Quantum explains, "It took him a long while to get permission to interact with me. There are clearances. He said it would take too much time." "I would think he would have all the time in the world," T'Pol comments, which gets a big laugh out of me, because she's right, you know. Quantum says that the Xindi traveled from their time period to one hundred fifty years ago, and they've been there for two months: "They're not sightseeing, T'Pol." That's too bad, because if Snake Eyes had the time, they really should visit Rock 'n' Bowl on Woodward. It's a rockin' good time with free beer and pizza if they're accompanied by sorority girls. Quantum pleads a bit, and T'Pol finally nods her assent. "Check the database, find something to wear that won't stand out in 2004," is Quantum's parting order. Let's analyze that: the database is for looking things up. Can it also manufacture things? I wouldn't think so. Maybe the protein resequencer is used to make any duds they need in the same way it makes pewp boots? And hey, if anyone gets married on the ship, they can have a Vera Wang pewp-off!
Trip sees Quantum off and comments that the last time Daniels gave him a ride using his temporal perks miles, he missed quite a few flights back. Quantum shows Trip a few cool gadgets that will not only assure his return but also let him take back anything he temporally tags with Lite-Brite pegs. As T'Pol meets them, wearing her hair brushed over her ears and a belted black leather jacket over slacks, Trip asks what he should tell people if they ask where T'Pol and Quantum went. Quantum's sure Trip can think of something. Tell them they're mashing in Quantum's room. Quantum hands over the duty roster and orders Trip to stay out of trouble. Whatever, buddy; the ship's run much better when Cpt. Trip's in the seat. Quantum and T'Pol walk through a doorway...right onto the streets of Detroit. Can't you just smell the burning rubber and the intense segregation? Quantum and T'Pol look around. "We just traveled ninety light years back to Earth?" T'Pol asks. "And a hundred and fifty [sic] years into the past," Quantum reminds everyone. "Forgive me if I'm not entirely convinced," T'Pol says. Quantum says she will be, and they walk across a bridge into the Detroit skyline.
T'Pol and Quantum walk down a line of parked cars as Quantum says things like, "This one has a motion-activated security system." He's scanning them with the all-purpose Blackberry Daniels gave him. They find a car that doesn't have a security system, and the All-Purpose Blackberry unlocks it. However, T'Pol finds an "apparatus [that] appears to have been designed to incapacitate the vehicle." Hee -- isn't she cute? It's a boot on the wheel. Another car yields a ferocious Doberman who quickly changes their car-jacking minds about that particular one. Finally, they luck out with a large truck. Quantum peers in the windows to make sure there's no barking death awaiting them before they break in. A few more taps on the All-Purpose Blackberry and the car starts up with the radio blaring. Quantum pushes all the stereo buttons before he silences it. How come the All-Purpose Blackberry couldn't do that? T'Pol asks Quantum if he's ever "operated a ve-hicle from this period." "I can pilot a starship," Quantum responds. Oh yeah, he's going to rack up some speeding tickets. "R-N-D-Two-Three-Four," Quantum reads off the gears. T'Pol suggests he start with two. Sure, why not? Maybe it will snow a lot in the few minutes. Or some mountains will suddenly spring up. Quantum puts the car into gear and mutters, "Foot controls." Somehow he knows to pull the parking brake before driving. Oncoming cars flash their headlights at him. First of all, I totally called that Quantum and T'Pol wouldn't know any better than not to do that. Secondly, that's so NOT a good idea to do in Detroit. Gang members between Detroit and Chicago specifically drive with their headlights off and shoot at any oncoming cars that flash them. ["Maybe the Blackberry didn't have an urban-legends patch." -- Sars] T'Pol thinks Quantum hasn't activated his external lighting system. Quantum turns the headlights on. T'Pol navigates via her handheld device. She downloaded a map from 2002, and Quantum comments that the city layout shouldn't have changed that much in two years. They drive around scanning for the Xindi. T'Pol leans over and asks, "What's that icon?" The car's tank is on empty and flashing. Quantum tells her it's a gasoline pump and they need to get fuel. In the shot that shows the dash controls, you can totally see that the car's in "drive," not "second," as T'Pol suggested previously. T'Pol wonders where they're going to get fuel, but Quantum's more concerned with getting "U.S. currency." T'Pol thinks that might be difficult at that time of night. Do they even know what time of night it is? Quantum sees something and says, "Not necessarily." Okay, thanks.
You know what cracks me up about the Bay Area? Commercials about where to get bail using a 1-877 number. In rap.
As T'Pol stands watch, Quantum fiddles with an ATM. I'd love to see T'Pol take on some muggers. Quantum punches at his All-Purpose Blackberry, and some money pops out. He takes it and says, "People used to go to jail for this." "Used to"? Does that mean you can steal money in the future and not be punished? Cool. "We'll return what we don't use," T'Pol assures him. Quantum just shakes his head in amusement. Do you think they accessed Daniels's money? I mean, since he time-travels so often, it would make sense for him to have accounts set up over the years. Or at least have some American Express Time Traveler's Checks lying around. Don't mind me, I really am amusing myself over here.
Loomis moves on to his victim. It's a guy in a wheelchair who Loomis convinces that he needs to come down to the blood bank and fill out some more paperwork. Loomis promises the guy that he'll get twenty-five bucks if he does it. The guy finally wheels himself out and asks, "This gonna take long? I don't want to miss Conan." Now, would that be as in "The Barbarian" or "O'Brien"?
T'Pol asks Quantum, "Were they aware at this time that Earth's supply of fossil fuel was nearing depletion?" "They had been for thirty years but it wasn't until 2061 that they finally --" Quantum's insight into our immediate future is interrupted by some beeping on T'Pol's e-pad. She directs him "one kilometer, straight ahead." They pull into a parking lot and turn off the headlights. T'Pol scans the warehouse and reports three Xindi bio-signs and five humans. "This doesn't look very residential," Quantum comments, and pulls out his phase pistol. He orders T'Pol to set her phaser to "kill," since "stun" has had no effect on the Xindi in encounters. They split up to investigate the area.
Quantum comms T'Pol that he found a neutronic power source coming from the first floor. T'Pol responds, "I found a gate with an electronic locking mechanism." If you ask me, Quantum's find wins. A car approaches, and T'Pol asks Quantum if he sees "the vehicle." He does, and hides. Loomis's car gets buzzed in again. Do you think people also used to go to jail for stealing men in wheelchairs?
Inside, Loomis finishes settling the wheelchair guy in his bed and goes to collect his payoff. "Did you disinfect your hands?" a hiding in the shadows Snake Eyes asks. "I insert IVs all day, I told you that. If there are any infections here, it won't be because of me," Loomis tells him. Speaking of infections, here's a question: would a blood bank really allow a prostitute to donate? Hell, they won't even let me donate because I was in England in 1992, 1996, and 1997, and I've got the rarest blood type. I think it's because of all the McDonald's I ate. And the steak and kidney pudding. And the piles of raw beef. Loomis complains about his lack of payment. Still in the shadows, Snake Eyes tells him he'll get his money when he delivers the last two blood types. Loomis whines a bit: "We should wait awhile. A few more days at least. There was something on the news -- cops are getting complaints that people have gone missing." Cops are getting "complaints" that people are going missing? What a weird thing to lodge a complaint over. Snake Eyes angrily insists that they can't wait a few more days. "Look, as soon as they figure out that all these people here have been to the clinic, it won't take a rocket scientist to point the finger at me." No, it will only take a starship captain who was a rocket scientist in a life. Loomis says he doesn't know and doesn't want to know what Snake Eyes is up to, but the cops don't take kindly to terrorists, so he's gotta be real careful. Now why would he just automatically assume that these guys are terrorists? All they're doing are collecting blood types -- maybe they've got a cure for cancer. Snake Eyes says he will double Loomis's pay if he has the final two there by the day. Loomis agrees, and leaves.
Quantum and T'Pol follow Loomis's car.
Loomis paces around his apartment. If he's feeling hungry, he can always go to the bathroom. He grabs a beer from the fridge and paces some more. Wearing his dirty shoes, he steps directly on his bed and sifts through a pile of files. You'd think he'd take better care of his stuff, since he has so little of it. He discards some files when he reads "ninth floor" or "two hundred eighty pounds." He comes across a B-negative and an AB-positive. Hey! That's my blood type! There's a knock at the door, and the camera goes through the peephole to see Quantum on the other side. Loomis goes out the window. Quantum observes this on his jacked-up Blackberry, and kicks the door in. Loomis runs down the fire escape. Quantum follows. Loomis reaches the sidewalk. T'Pol treats him to the Vulcan nerve pinch. I'm beginning to wonder if that's one of the stops in the Twelve Steps to Neural Nirvana. Poor Trip.
Quantum and T'Pol have Loomis tied up in his apartment and proceed to question him. He plays dumb for a really long time. Quantum asks if Loomis makes a habit out of climbing out his window whenever anyone comes a-visitin'. "I don't like cops," Loomis says. T'Pol and Quantum exchange looks. When Loomis denies ever being on Carpenter Street, Quantum flings away the chair he was straddling and gets in Loomis's face, saying he was there just an hour ago. You know he only sat in a chair so he could one, straddle it, and two, fling it dramatically aside. Loomis continues to play dumb and thinks it's time they find him a lawyer. Oh, is he in for a big surprise! Quantum orders T'Pol to untie him. T'Pol pauses. "You heard him -- untie me!" Loomis says. T'Pol unties him. "That's better," Loomis snots. Quantum decks him across the room and then throws him back in the chair. T'Pol reties him. "I didn't feel right doing that with you tied up," Quantum says. He's a gentlemanly brute. "Carpenter Street," Quantum repeats. "You're not allowed to hit me," Loomis whines. "Untie him again," Quantum says. Hee! T'Pol moves into action, but Loomis whines, "No, no!" and then starts talking.
He says he swears he doesn't know who "he" is, "a doctor, maybe. Says he's working on a vaccine. Experimental. He doesn't have approval or something like that." Yeah, I can imagine it's hard to get the FDA to okay your research when you have venom-dripping fangs. Loomis said he needed to bring "him" people for the research. "Does it seem logical to you that legitimate medical research would be conducted in an abandoned factory?" T'Pol asks. Heh -- subtly snarky T'Pol is good Vulcan characterization. Loomis admits that he thought about that, and just tonight it struck him that "he" might be some sort of terrorist. "But I swear, if I knew that for a fact, I never would've agreed to help him." Right. T'Pol echoes my sentiments in the eyebrow-raised, lip-curled look she gives Quantum. "In one individual, we've managed to find the worst qualities of this era: greed, violence, moral corruption," T'Pol comments. At least she didn't say "the worst qualities in humans." And she forgot "cowardice." Not fazed by T'Pol's description of him, Loomis pleads that "he" said he wasn't going to hurt anyone. When Quantum asks, Loomis says that "this doctor" found him because he works at the blood bank, and he wanted samples of every blood type in their original human packaging. T'Pol quickly thumbs through the folders on the table as Loomis says that "he" figured Loomis would have access to blood type information. T'Pol circles the louse: "Did he also 'figure' that you would have no compunctions about abducting people?" I would love to see these three play Scruples together. Quantum asks how much Loomis is getting paid. "Five thousand apiece, double for the last three," Loomis answers. T'Pol looks at Quantum in wonder and asks if that's all human life was worth in 2004. First of all, honey, you don't even know the half of it. Secondly, can T'Pol actually comprehend the currency of the time without having studied it prior to their trip? Maybe she did study it. I don't know. Maybe she's even a twenty-first century currency buff. "Buff" is a funny word. Buff, buff, buff, buff, buff. When I was a teenager with slightly excitable sebaceous (no, not Sebacean) glands, I had these things called "Buff Puffs." They tore the heck out of my skin.
You can finally see in this scene that Quantum is still maintaining a shadow not a minute over five o'clock. Good, I like the rugged handsomeness. I also like the jeans and anorak he's got going on. And while I'm not normally a violent person, I also REALLY liked how he walloped Loomis. To me, in that scene, he was much more the Man of Action than he was when he shoved Pop in the air lock. In my eyes, the air lock incident was such a passive-aggressive action, which ended in what I felt was a cop-out negating any aggression. The untie-punch-retie-threaten-to-punch-again was simply aggressive, to the point, and effective. Plus, it made me pump my fist and yell, "Yeah!" which I have NEVER done with Quantum unless he was Leap-ing.
Quantum asks Loomis what his bloodthirsty employer looks like. Loomis admits he's never seen him, but he seems tall. I'll agree with that -- he's got a tall-sounding voice. Loomis then asks to be let go, since he promises never to steal people for their blood type again. "You are going to do it again," Quantum says, leaning over Loomis's shoulder from behind. "That is, if you have any hope of staying out of prison." Loomis is confused. Quantum waves a folder and introduces himself as "a healthy male with B-negative blood." T'Pol and Loomis both stare at Quantum.
Quantum drives T'Pol and a wrist-shackled Loomis in Loomis's car. Loomis suggests that if Quantum plans on being a specimen for awhile, he should have something to eat. Would you look at that? He's a down-and-out lowlife, but he still maintains a certain professionalism and dedication to his craft that you don't often find these days. "Be quiet," T'Pol suggests. Hee. "Come on, I'm not talking about anything fancy -- a burger, a taco. There's a drive-thru less than a mile from here. Cops gotta eat, don't they?" Loomis insists. Quantum and T'Pol don't say anything. "What is the matter with you two? I'll pay," Loomis offers. "I told you to be quiet," T'Pol repeats. Loomis just sits there. Finally, Quantum asks, "Which side of the street is it on?" Heh. They pull up to a "Burgerland" order board. Loomis orders a "double superbeef, no lettuce." Quantum gives him a look before carefully enunciating Loomis's order. "You can make that a triple for only forty cents extra!" the garbled voice sings back. "Do it," Loomis says, as though he were advising Quantum on matters of state. Quantum looks at Loomis but says, "A double will be fine." Heh -- no extra all-beef patty for Loomis today. The garbled voice wants to know if they'd like to make it a combo. Loomis decides that he doesn't like Quantum's decisions, so he leans over and says, "Yeah, fries and a root beer." The garbled voice asks if there will be anything else today. Quantum looks at the menu and orders "a hamburger, ketchup only." How boring. Although I have to admit that when I was a picky child that's the only way I would eat my McDonalds hamburger, and I'd make my mother scrape off the all tiny freeze-dried onions and pickles. Now? I wish I could buy those tiny freeze-dried onions in bulk. The garbled voice again sings out, "You can make that a double for only forty cents extra!" "No, thank you," Quantum says. "Would you like to make that a combo?" "No, no combo!" Again the garbled voice asks if they want anything else. Quantum looks at T'Pol who leans over and asks if the "Fiesta Salad" contains animal products. "No, but we can add three strips of bacon for only seventy-five cents!" the garbled voice carols. T'Pol gets a skeeved-out look on her face and says, "Nothing for me, thanks." Quantum asks if T'Pol is sure. "Quite," T'Pol says. I'd really be entertained to see them take on Starbucks. You know, she still could have had the salad without the bacon, but I suppose she lost her appetite at the mere thought of crispy, fat-dripping pork sizzling on her salad. Mmm, bacon. I like dipping it in syrup or putting it on sourdough toast spread with peanut butter and jelly.
They drive. Loomis messily gnaws at the burger he holds in both hands. "You guys don't mind, do you? I'm starving," he says, and adds that it would be easier if they untied his hands. "It's not like I'm going anywhere." Loomis slurps his root beer. I'm hungry now. "Do the best you can," Quantum orders. A piece of hamburger lands on T'Pol's thin thigh. "Uh-oh," Loomis says like Rain Man. "I told you -- let me get that for you," Loomis offers as T'Pol squirms. Loomis leans over but, without looking, T'Pol backhands him back into his place. Hee! That was great. "Oh boy," Loomis Rain Mans in reaction to the backhand. T'Pol picks up the morsel of meat between two fingers and flings it out the window. Quantum stifles a grin. "You're a veggie, I forgot," Loomis smacks another bite. "Why don't you take a fry -- they're probably okay," he offers. T'Pol looks askance at both Loomis and the fries. They're probably fried in animal fat. I know McDonald's veganed their act up, but that doesn't mean all fast-food places did. I'd be especially wary of the less than mainstream ones. Not that I'm all that worried about it -- it makes the fries taste amazing -- but other people have to think about things like that. "Have it your way," Loomis shrugs, bites his burger, and tosses back his greasy hair. Did Quantum even eat his burger? If he's not hungry, can I have it?
They arrive at the warehouse, and Loomis wheels a slumped-over Quantum in. Loomis settles Quantum in a bed with an IV and head thingies and mutters that the Xindi will come in to take blood samples every hour, and re-drug him every six hours. Loomis encourages him to do whatever he needs to do before they -- but he's interrupted by a bang of a door. "Number seven," Loomis tells the shadowed figure, who asks which blood type it is. "B-negative, you'll have AB-positive by tomorrow night, I swear," Loomis stutters. The Xindi leaves with the typical parting threat. Loomis leaves.
He gets back into his car. T'Pol is sitting on the floor in the front seat, phase pistol aimed at him, and she orders him to "engage the engine and proceed to the second location." "Nice ray gun, am I supposed to believe that thing's for real?" Heh -- "ray gun." T'Pol fires a shot at the driver's side door. "Drive," she orders. Loomis, scared by the red light he just saw, drives. He mutters about not getting his money. "Don't speak until we're out of visual range," T'Pol commands irritably.
Two Snake Eyes walk into the blood-sampling room, and one walks over to Quantum. Aren't the Xindi going to recognize him? I assume they have his poster up all over Xindiland with the words "Exterminate This Species" stamped across his face. Snake Eyes turns Quantum's head to the left in order to expose his neck and wipes his neck with a pad. I wonder if Dracula takes that precaution. As Snake Eyes turns away, Quantum does something weird with his face -- he swallows or something equally risky. Snake Eyes turns back and draws blood. Kudos to Quantum for not flinching -- I know I couldn't do that. I'd be off that table before the needle was fully primed. I'm such a wimp.
Back in Loomis's car, Loomis says, "You catch these guys and I get immunity -- right? We're not talking about copping to a lesser charge." T'Pol says they'll discuss everything when her associate gets back. Loomis argues that they better keep their word, because if her associate doesn't catch the bad guys, they're going to come after him. "You've been abducting people for money," T'Pol says, "and you're questioning our honesty?" Heh.
The Snake Eyes leave, and Quantum rips the things off his head and the IV from his hand. Ouch. I had one of those when I had my tonsils and adenoids removed in 1977 and I still have the scar. It's a creepily thin-skinned place to jam a needle. Did I mention what a wimp I am? Quantum follows the Xindi.
Loomis tries to smoke a cigarette, but T'Pol doesn't let him. She's a hard-ass. Loomis puts up an argument, and T'Pol puts up her pistol to his head and says, "Now." I wonder if Quitters Anonymous has tried that tactic.
Warehouse. Quantum crawls over catwalks and observes three Snake Eyes doing something with a machine that looks like a really big searchlight.
Car. Quantum comms T'Pol, but before she answers, she takes the keys and orders Loomis to stay exactly where he is. She gets out of the car and backs into the shadows, pistol trained on the car. Quantum tells her that the Xindi brought a bio-reactor with them, and they're synthesizing a viral agent. He could tell all of that from where he's sitting? Quantum reminds her that Hellena Hand Job warned them about a bio-weapon, and this could be it. T'Pol wonders why they'd have to go back in time to do this. "Daniels said they might be hiding from someone," Quantum responds. Yeah, Earthlings. I mean, if the Xindi tried to execute these shenanigans in Quantum's time, they'd be discovered pretty damn fast. Quantum adds that they have to keep them from getting the weapon back to their time. T'Pol asks if he's in a position to disable all three Snake Eyes. "I don't know, I was thinking of trying to take out the bio-reactor but I could end up spreading whatever's in there across the entire city," Quantum responds. I like how these two have started to work together lately. He doesn't act too much like "I'm the Captain with all the orders" anymore, and they seem to be more collaborators than ranking officers. T'Pol tells him to destroy the Xindi temporal beacon so the Snake Eyes can't get back. "I've gotta find it first," Quantum says. T'Pol gives him some hints on how to modify his scanner. Meanwhile, Loomis pulls out a switchblade. He clicks it open. Why do people in movies and television shows always do that? They're just going to collapse it again so they can re-open it all dramatically when they actually plan to use it.
Warehouse. Quantum looks at his scanner and takes aim at the temporal beacon. We get a nice butt-shot of Snake Eyes's silver diaper-contraption over his purple aluminum-tubing suit. Let's not look at that too often, thanks. Quantum fires, knocking over the beacon. He fires twice more and downs one Snake Eyes. The other two Snake Eyes fire back and grab a metal tube from the center of the enormous spotlight. The metal tube looks like one of those brushed metal thermoses from Starbucks. They run away, closing a door with the number twenty-two etched on it. Hey! That's my lucky number. I swear, it's everywhere. You know, with that, the use of MY blood type, and the fact that I liked this episode, you'd think I was actually writing these. Ha ha! Quantum jumps down, examines the enormous spotlight, and comms T'Pol: "They've gone out the west door. They could be headed for the street -- they have the virus." Final shot of the one Snake Eyes lying on the floor. I almost expected him to get up. But he didn't.
Quantum follows the Xindi and they trade fire. Quantum comms T'Pol where they are and that he could use some help. T'Pol gets back in the car and orders Loomis to drive. "Trouble?" Loomis asks. "Drive," T'Pol repeats, pulling out her gun. Loomis drives. Can she hold the gun to his head again? I liked that.
Quantum and the Xindi play hide-and-seek.
Loomis stops the car on T'Pol's orders. She pulls out her hand-held, and Loomis comments, "They give you all that fancy equipment and what good does it do you?" T'Pol orders him to lower his window. Loomis says he knew Quantum's plan wouldn't work. "Be quiet," T'Pol says, raising her gun and checking her hand-held, "they're coming." You know what I love? I love that Loomis is completely unfazed by all "that fancy equipment." As far as he's concerned, it's par for the course when you're a cop. He's a trusting soul. The Xindi start to come out. Loomis lays on his horn. "Stop!" T'Pol says, and grabs his hands, pulling him down. The Snake Eyes look all discombobulated as they fluster out of the building. Hee hee! They take aim, and Loomis looks totally freaked when he beholds their Xindiness. However, not too freaked to attempt to stab T'Pol, who edges out of reach so he ends up stabbing his seat. Oddly, one of the Xindi is felled by weapons fire from behind. We see Quantum come out of the shadows as the other Xindi runs. It's odd because it's yellow and Quantum's weapon has already demonstrated its redness earlier. The Xindi weapons are yellow. I think that was a screw-up, because when they showed the Xindi lying on the floor, he still had his own gun, and Quantum left him without relieving him of his pistol.
T'Pol beats Loomis up in his own car, and a great shot showing only the phaser lets us see T'Pol lower her phase intensity by several notches. She fires at Loomis. He slumps. Do you know why I love that? Because in so many cases across all the series, they would have just had T'Pol fire at Loomis, and all of us would have remembered that Quantum specifically ordered her phaser set to "kill" to deal with the Xindi and complained in a wondering sort of way about why her phaser didn't kill him. It was awesome that they took the time to specifically show that she lowered the phaser setting before firing. It also showed great presence of mind for her character.
Quantum and T'Pol follow the Xindi up to the roof. The last Xindi walks over to a roof fan and looks up. He stoops to conquer and unscrew the virus. "He's gonna aerate it!" the Evil Dr. Mathra announces, dancing excitedly. Quantum fires at him from the roof of another building. Snake Eyes leaves the virus to take cover. They trade fire. T'Pol notes that, as they have eliminated Snake Eyes's only means for returning to his own century, he has no other choice but to release the virus. And then what? He stays on Earth in 2004, gets a driver's license, registers to vote, and attempts to become an upstanding member of society? Only if he can find a really good plastic surgeon. Quantum says he won't be able to destroy all of humanity with a virus geared toward only six of the eight blood types. "If they can infect three-quarters of Earth's population, it's unlikely humans will pose a threat to them in the future," T'Pol tells him. More firing. "Let's hope he can't see in the dark," Quantum says, and runs off. Why wouldn't he be able to see in the dark? Reptiles can see in the dark; why would Snake Eyes have night blindness? Of course, there has to be a scene where Quantum jumps across from one rooftop to the because it is, in fact, required by law that all rooftop battles have the leap across. He does it in slow motion, which causes the Evil Dr. Mathra and I to shout, "Mee mee mee mee mee mee!" While Snake Eyes is busy firing back at T'Pol, he doesn't notice Quantum climbing an apparatus above him. Quantum commands Snake Eyes, "Don't move a muscle!" Or a scale. He tells him to drop his weapon. Snake Eyes hisses and complies. Quantum demands to know why they were building a second weapon: "Where were you going to take it?" "We won't allow you to destroy us -- your species is doomed!" Snake Eyes says, and makes a slo-mo leap to the thermos full of hot, fragrant virus. Quantum fires at Snake Eyes. As Snake Eyes falls, he tips the virus thermos on its side and pushes it toward the fan. In slo-mo, Quantum jumps down and catches the virus right before it hits the fan. He seals the thermos tight and breathes hard. That's premium, Ethiopian, early morning, bayou wafting over the veranda blend, that is.
T'Pol and Quantum clean up the temporal mess by distributing temporal Lite Brites on various objects, including the Snake Eyes. "Let's go!" Quantum says as they leave the roof. I wonder if they'll try to take in a Red Wings game. If so, say hi to Scotty Bowman from one of his daughter's old friends.
Enterprise. Trip is still in the hallway, fiddling with the duty roster Quantum left him. Boy, he's a real procrastinator, isn't he? As Quantum and T'Pol step through the doorway, Trip looks up and asks, "Problem, sir?" T'Pol and Quantum exchange looks. "It's done," Quantum tells him. Trip's confused. Quantum comms Reed to get a security team down to the Command Center double-quick-hurry. "Wait here for Malcolm. Have everything brought to Cargo Bay Two," Quantum tells T'Pol, holding up the virus thermos. "I've gotta get this to Phlox." Trip's still confused. T'Pol invites him to come with her. She slides open the door to the Command Center and reveals three unconscious Snake Eyes and the enormous spotlight. Trip's never going to not be confused.
Detroit. It's morning, and cops scream down Carpenter Street and screech to stops to Loomis's car. "Get outta the car!" cops yell, pulling guns. "He's on something," another cop says, opening the car door. Loomis is very confused as they make him spread 'em on his car. They pat him down. "Hey, hey, hey -- I didn't do anything," Loomis croaks. "We got a tip says you did," a cop says. "You're just lucky all six of them are still alive," a cop says, cuffing him. "Those two cops who came to my place, they offered me a deal. That's the only reason I helped them," Loomis whines. The cops say they don't know what he's talking about. "Those creatures, the lizard-people -- they're around here somewhere, you gotta find them!" Loomis says. "No problem, we'll get right on that," a cop says, forcing Loomis into a car. "Be careful," Loomis says, looking at the cop in concern. "They got ray guns." "Yeah, ray guns, got it," the cop says, and shuts the door. I got a big fat HEH out of that one. "Yep, another encounter sends one more to the booby hatch," the Evil Dr. Mathra adds. Hey, who do you think called in the tip? Quantum? T'Pol? Daniels? Someone who knew how to operate a phone, evidently.
So, I talked to the production team over at Enterprise, and since they love me soooo much, they agreed to let up on airing new episodes until I'm done with my current project in January.