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A kinder, gentler Quantum returns this week to deal with a wilder, crazier T'Pol as they investigate a drifting Vulcan ship in the Expanse. Once aboard the drifting Vulcan ship, T'Pol shows significant signs of losing her Vulcan mind and actually seems to sympathize with the warty Vulcombies the away team find eating pieces of the hull and preferring dark corners. Back on the ship of non-crazies, Trip and May-All-Bets-Are-Off go to mine some righteous Trellium-D but little do they know that they are signing T'Pol's death certificate and emailing it back home. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Right off I'm going to take a stand to say that I could have really, really liked this episode. COULD HAVE. If only the Poor, Stifled Writers hadn't blown their Emotional Vulcan loads in "The Seventh," "Stigma," "Fusion," "Fallen Hero," and a little in "The Expanse." It would have been much more compelling and meaningful if they could've held off on Tremulous T'Pol until now. Maybe that's Jolene's fault, or maybe it's the director's fault for allowing it to be Jolene's fault, but if only. If only. However, all that aside, I did sorta like this episode for many other reasons. In fact, I'm willing to go waaaaay out on my Bitch Limb and say that it's my favorite episode of this season. Yet I'm still Keckler, and I'm still going to drink gallons and I'm still going to complain throughout this viewing. You wouldn't want it any other way, would you?"It's Wednesday and it's time for [me]"? What the hell is that all about anyway, UPN?
Quantum carries a frothy-mouthed T'Pol and shouts, "She's coming to!" to Phlox. They get her on an examination table and strap her in as she thrashes and sounds primal scream after primal scream. This puts me in mind of a Keckler Family story. As a teenager, my older sister used to get so irritated by my mother that she told her she "just wanted to scream." My mother, being the scientific woman she is, told her to go ahead -- just don't do it in the house. After that, every so often, my mother and sister would be engaged in a "discussion" and eventually something would set my sister off. Without another word, she would stomp away from my mother, throw open the door, and treat our neighbors to her pent-up issues. T'Pol reaches up and tries to choke Quantum, shrieking that she's going to kill him. You go, girl!
Here's an alternative song: It's very clear my hate is here to stay. Not for a year forever and four more seasons.
Phlox scans T'Pol -- togged as the Viagra (tm Geo Gal) Veloured Vulcan tonight -- and says he's not sure if he can reverse the damage. He starts to hypospray her, but T'Pol thrashes around some more, insisting that he's trying to kill her. "Murderers! Get away! Noooooooo!" T'Pol screams, thrashing her head from side to side on that last syllable. Quantum grasps T'Pol by the forehead, forcing her to stop wriggling, and Phlox successfully hyposprays her. She continues to freak out. "What's interesting is that's exactly what I have to do to you every Wednesday night," the Evil Dr. Mathra notes. Finally, T'Pol calms down and Phlox slides her into the SCAT, while I start to labor under the impression that we've stepped into a bird sanctuary. Seriously, did anyone else notice that the sound guys and gals picked that precise moment to pump up the volume on all of Phlox's creatures? Maybe they're experiencing sympathy crazies.
A line on the screen tells us that it is now "one day earlier." In the newfangled situation room or "command center," Trip tells Quantum that Chef is worried about the crew. A lot of people seem to be off their feed these days, and Chef thinks it's because of stress. "I haven't had much of an appetite myself," Quantum says. Fine, but this isn't about you right now, Quantum, it's about YOUR CREW! Trip suggests starting movie night up again as a source of relaxation. Quantum nixes this idea, saying that "there'll be plenty of time for movies after we've dealt with the Xindi." Not if you're all dead. Seriously, the whole idea that Quantum should recognize that a more relaxed and less overworked, over-worried crew will actually function better when it's needed aside, think about those who won't survive this mission. I say give them their Milk Duds and sticky seats now. "No one hates the Xindi more'n I dew, Cap'n," Trip says. I give him a lot of credit for not saying that pointedly, as I would have done. Trip really thinks the crew needs R&R. "Unless you want Phlox to start medicating people [don't want anyone horning in on your stash?] we've gotta find a way to boost morale," Trip persists, in his role as cruise director. Quantum relents and asks what he had in mind, Trip thinks the comedy stylings of Bob Hope and Bing Crosby might do the trick. Did I ever mention that my grandfather was a writer for Bing's radio show back when he did it with Jack Benny? Well, he was. Bing also invited my mother and her parents to stay at his ranch in Elko, Nevada after my uncle was killed and they needed to get out of L.A. for awhile. That was uncharacteristically nice, considering that my grandmother used to say that Bing had "the coldest blue eyes." But back to the show that's never going to have writing like my grandfather's. T'Pol enters, and Quantum explains that they've been reviewing the Xindi starcharts, hoping they can figure out a way around the anomalies. T'Pol tells him she would have helped him out, but Quantum says he didn't want to wake her. "Besides," he continues, "our resident insomniac was looking for something to do." Quantum walks off. Trip asks if T'Pol has plans on Tuesday night, and tells her to meet him in the mess hall at seven o'clock. "Movie night?" T'Pol divines with a touch, just a touch, of weariness. Or wariness. Hoshi comms Quantum that she's picking up a Vulcan distress call and they aren't responding to hails.
Bridge. T'Pol recognizes the transponder frequencies as being from the Selaya. "They entered the Expanse nine months ago," she finishes. Were they the ones who sent back "Vulcan's Creepiest Home Videos" in "The Expanse"? Enterprise sets an intercept course.
Enterprise wanders lonely as an anomaly until it comes upon a mess of rocky asteroids, fluttering and dancing in the breeze. T'Pol reports that the asteroids are moving unpredictably. Maybe they're being jocund. Trip notes that the reason why the Vulcans were "innerested" in these particular head-tossing asteroids is that they are chock full of Trellium ore. Quantum doesn't want to risk the ship in such a sprightly dance, so he orders Reed awakened and a sh'pod prepped. He tells Trip to attempt to get his hands on some of the Trellium ore. Quantum and T'Pol leave.
Sh'pod. T'Pol, Quantum, Reed, and an Uh-Oh maneuver their way through the mess of rocky asteroids. Quantum asks what else T'Pol knows about the Selaya. "A great deal," T'Pol says. "I served on it for over a year." As the deputy science officer aboard, it was her last assignment before she joined the consulate on Earth. Isn't that just handle-diddly-dandy? Quantum asks a bit belligerently, "Any idea what they were doing in the Expanse?" Dude, I know you think this is your personal vendetta and all, but other ships are allowed to get themselves in trouble, go crazy, and die in the Expanse too. So why don't you just step off? T'Pol gives some technobabble reason, and says they sent back a report that they were caught in a subspace eddy and were being pulled into the Expanse. "It was their final transmission," she finishes. But was it a loony, green transmission? "The Vankaara was sent to find them. You already know what happened to that crew," T'Pol finally answers my question. Quantum hopes the Selaya will have better editing and more flattering lighting. Quantum performs some fancy flying to avoid being smashed to little bits. There's a neat moment when they just miss being smashed to little bits, and Reed and the Uh-Oh turn to the window to watch the asteroid flash upon their inward eye by. They give each other a nervous look. It's cute. I liked it.
Enterprise. Trip and May-All-That-They-Could-And-Do-Leave-Behind transport ore onto the ship. How sad is it that I'm so unused to seeing May-All-That-They-Could-And-Do-Leave-Behind that I originally took him for some random Rent-a-Redshirt in this scene? They succeed and then move on to something bigger. That something bigger fails to such a spectacular degree that, after one transport, the ore looks like it blew up and got stuck in various places all over the pad. May-All-That-They-Could-And-Do-Leave-Behind suggests putting a sh'pod down on an asteroid and mining it. Trip agrees, muttering as they leave, "This'll be a new one for the maintenance crew." Hey, it could be worse; they might actually have to squeegee the floor.
Quantum's sh'pod reaches the Vulcan ship. Even though main power is offline and several decks have decompressed, T'Pol can read several bio-signs aboard. The sh'pod docks, and Reed forces open the airlock. T'Pol looks in horror at the wreck of the Hesperus, but doesn't yet see the form of a maiden fair lashed to her mast, so they press on among the roaring breakers and fritzing wires. Reed finds something and points to a door that looks covered in a mass of blue Silly Putty. "They were lining this bulkhead with Trellium -- they didn't get very far," he explains. They do some more exploring, and Quantum orders Reed and the Uh-Oh to starboard while he and T'Pol continue together.
Reed finds Vulcan blood spattered on a bulkhead.
Quantum and T'Pol go down another corridor and hear metallic, echoey, banging. T'Pol reads one bio-sign behind a door and tries to open it. Not succeeding, she hotwires the door and, with Quantum, manually pulls the door open. A Vulcan lunges at T'Pol, who ducks and barely misses being decapitated with some big metal tool. No, not Quantum -- more like a wrench. Quantum throws the lunging Vulcan out of the way and fights him. The Vulcan slashes Quantum across the face with his fingernails and heads for T'Pol, who fires at him. When that doesn't work, she kicks him in the chest. And when that doesn't work, Quantum stuns him, and the Vulcan goes down with his arms and giant wrench raised over his head in strike position. His face bleeding from three parallel scratches, Quantum stares confusedly at T'Pol.
Dear Dr. Katz, I am getting increasingly worried about Hunca Munca's behavior. After knocking Quantini off his perch three times and ferreting his helmet away to god only knows where, he has now seen fit to completely shred the first three pages of notes I had taken on this episode. He seems to be acting out -- what do you think? Sincerely, KecklerDear Keckler, Of course he's acting out -- have you seen this show?! Yrs., Dr. Katz, DMV
T'Pol stares down at the fallen Vulcan and leans heavily against a bulkhead. Quantum asks if she's okay, and when she doesn't respond, he says, "T'Pol?" with a little catch in his voice. Interesting. I wonder if that was intentional, or just that thing that happens when you don't clear your throat properly before speaking. T'Pol shudders that she's fine, and scans the Vulcan. "His synaptic pathways have been severely damaged," she notes. Quantum orders him to the pod, but as they start to gather him up, two more Vulcans stagger down the hall towards them. T'Pol and Quantum fire, once, twice, before the Vulcans fall three times the ladies. Stepping over the Vulcan debris, Quantum comms Reed to be wary of Vulcans bearing resemblance to brain-eating zombies. I think Reed's brain is safe, actually. Soon after the warning, Reed and the Uh-Oh are set upon by a troupe of Thriller extras. The make-up similarities? Uncanny. The Uh-Oh gets slashed in the arm and goes down with a whimper. Reed's getting choked by a Vulcombie when Quantum appears of out the darkness and fires expertly at Reed's attacker. Reed asks what happened to the Vulcans, but instead of answering, T'Pol warns that seven more Vulcombies are on their way. The team is further hastened by the other Vulcombies staggering back to consciousness. I think they made them all hold those extra large wrenches and screwdrivers so they'd have something to do with their arms other than hold them out in front of them.
The Away Team scoots down the corridor. The Uh-Oh snicks a button on his weapon, and we hear a high-pitched ping. "What are you doing?" T'Pol demands. "'Stun' isn't working, we should set our weapons to 'kill,'" the Uh-Oh explains. T'Pol has a big problem with that and tells him they're on a rescue mission. "With respect, ma'am, they don't seem to want our help," the Uh-Oh says. T'Pol yanks the Uh-Oh around to face her and says, "You heard me!" The Uh-Oh looks to Quantum, who reiterates T'Pol's order.
Two Vulcombies walk stiff-leggedly around, and the Uh-Oh calls Quantum over. "What are they doing?" Reed asks. We see the Vulcombies standing over the manhole opening to the sh'pod. If they heard a doorbell, do you think the Vulcombies would belch, "You raaaang?" Instead of taking their shots and stunning the Bridgekeepers out of the way so they can escape, Capt. Moron wastes time trying to explain themselves. Unfortunately, it's long been established that you can't reason with creatures with warty faces and hollowed-out eyes, so the Vulcombies flip a switch and raise the drawbridge on the Away Team, completely blocking them from any access to their ship. T'Pol tells them that there isn't another way to the airlock, just as more Vulcombies burst through other doors. "Doesn't anyone have a stake on them?" the Evil Dr. Mathra demands.
They fire, run, fire, fall down, fire, run. Fight scene at night, recapper's delight.
The Away Team crawls up a trapdoor. True to The House on Vulcan Hill, the Vulcombies grab at Quantum's legs and try to pull him down. Luckily, the three members of the Away Team are much stronger than a horde of crazed Vulcans -- who surely possess fiendish super-strength on top of the strength that is significant to their race -- so the captain is pulled to safety. Whew! Quantum tries to comm Enterprise, but all the phone lines were snipped by a gloved hand, so he can't get through. Plus, I think it's raining. T'Pol thinks they can possibly use the comm system on the Bridge, which is seven decks above them. Did she say "Se7en"? Quantum starts to climb, and Reed asks how many Vulcans are on board. T'Pol guesses one hundred forty-seven -- if they're all alive. For some reason, this makes Reed decide that going for the Selaya's launchbay is a good idea. He wants to boost one of their pods. Just make sure the license plate doesn't say "Chr'stine." Because, you know, it might be named for Nurse Chapel. In the future. I don't know. Quantum, tired of going up and down three rungs while no one follows, insists that they have to get to their own sh'pod, but T'Pol points at a red screen and says that all four bulkheads leading the airlock have been sealed. The Vulcombies make "breaking through to the other side" noises on the trapdoor, and Quantum stomps on it. To...scare them? Quantum checks on the Uh-Oh's arm who insists that he's fine. However, Reed says he's losing a lot of blood and they have to treat the wound. Quantum asks the way to Sickbay. Do you know the way to Si-i-ckbay? Sorry, but living out here means that a trip to Palo Alto gets "Do You Know The Way To San Jose?" stuck in my head for three days. Those stupid eBay commercials aren't helping matters either. T'Pol gives weak directions, and as soon as Reed and the Uh-Oh are out of sight, Quantum asks a waning T'Pol if she's okay. "Since we've come aboard I've been experiencing anxiety. Whatever's happened to this crew maybe starting to affect me," T'Pol tells him. Quantum promises they'll get her out of there as soon as they can. And he's even nice about it! Sit, Quantum, sit! Good boy.
Meanwhile, the Acting Captain sees fit to leave his Acting Command and lark about the asteroid field with May-All-That-They-Could-And-Do-Leave-Behind. I don't think Trip needs to worry about his little grey cells becoming cervelle de veaux for the Vulcombies any time soon either. May-All-That-They-Could-And-Do-Leave-Behind sets them down so they can wield a pick-axe, lick it, and spit, "Nuthin'!" May-All-That-They-Could-And-Do-Leave-Behind's landing is a little asteroidy, and he comments, "I hope you won't write that landing up in your log." "Are you kidding? I'm going to recommend you for a medal!" Trip announces. "The Medal of the Unknown Soldier?" the Evil Dr. Mathra wonders. May-All-That-They-Could-And-Do-Leave-Behind and Trip walk around the asteroid.
Selaya, the playa. In Sickbay, the Away Team checks things out. Reed stuns a flying Vulcpire bat, and the rest of the team stands around looking at it. They get the flying Vulcpire bat under Plexiglas and start examining him. Where are the dripping test tubes, percolating beakers, and Peter Lorre cowering in the corner? As she scans die Fledermaus, Quantum asks T'Pol what's causing the outbreak of Texas Chainsaw Massacre-ness. "I'm not a doctor," T'Pol trembles. Quantum reminds her gently (gently!) that she's his science officer and he wants to be able to depend on her. T'Pol lemon-pledges to do her best. She names the guy as someone she served under during her tenure on the ship. He was the chief engineer. The Vulcpire Bat comes to, and T'Pol speaks to him. In English. Considering that he's out of his Vulcan mind, wouldn't you think he's not exactly scrambling for his language skills and would better respond if he was addressed in his native tongue? Oh, I just had the weirdest thought for a Halloween costume. You could dress like a tongue that had the flag of your choice patterned on it. Then you could go around saying, "I'm a-dressed in my native tongue! Won't you please address me in my native tongue?" These thoughts come to me at night. They scare me. The Evil Dr. Mathra just told me that I'm a "total freak" and I've "clearly totally lost it." Totally. Clearly. Now give me another drink. We went to Beverages and More today and we are now fully stocked. And stoked. We even found the Vernor's ginger ale of my Traverse City childhood! I made a Horse's Neck with it. It's an old drink from the thirties that Tommy and Tuppence often drink. It's bourbon and ginger ale with a lemon curl. It's kind of gross and I feel nauseous now. Do you know what's good for nausea? Gin! The huge bottle of Bombay Sapphire kind works best. Good for cramps too.
T'Pol introduces herself, asks if the Vulcpire bat remembers her, and tries to find out what turned him so green around the skin and blood. Vulcpire Bat quickly turns into Dr. Frankenvulcan's Monster and thrashes at his bonds and groans and moans. "You've lost control!" T'Pol tells him angrily. "Tell me what happened. TELL ME!" The Monster breaks free of one of his cuffs and tries to grab at his inquisitionist. She pulls away. Luckily, the Monster is in a Plexiglas tube and can't really get out. Although that is really large hole T'Pol was speaking into -- I'm surprised he doesn't just tear right through that. T'Pol tells Quantum that she's turning into a Vulcombie and she can feel her control slipping away. Quantum tries to calm her down -- have you ever tried to calm an emotional Vulcan down? It's messy -- and tell her that she's going to be okay; they'll get her and her scans back to the ship and Phlox will make everything better. Quantum grabs T'Pol by the shoulders and gets her to concentrate on opening the bulkheads. They head to an auxiliary control room on the Engineering deck.
Partway there, T'Pol stops in the crawlspace and breathes heavily. The Uh-Oh is worried about her. Quantum urges T'Pol to concentrate, and the Uh-Oh helpfully takes her arm. "I don't need your help!" T'Pol snaps, yanking her arm away. Really. I mean, they're crawling in a crawl-space -- how is taking her arm even helpful? Reed reads two more Vulcombies coming up in their way. Quantum and Reed go to deal with them, leaving the Uh-Oh (Quantum finally calls him "Hawkins" -- as in "Young Master Hawkins, arrgh!"?) to hang with T'Pol. Uh-Oh Hawkins offers T'Pol some of his water: "No offense, but you look like you could use some." Now why would she be offended that he just called her a dry, shriveled, dehydrated muskmelon? T'Pol gulps his water, hands it back, and thanks him. Uh-Oh Hawkins sincerely apologizes for wanting to murder her race: "You're right, this is a rescue mission." T'Pol silently accepts this. Uh-Oh Hawkins has a question for her: "How is it possible that this crew could turn so violent when Vulcans aren't supposed to have emotions?" This is going from Bermaga straight to all the complainers out there. "A common misconception. We have emotions. We simply keep them suppressed, under control. Something has obviously happened to make them lose that control," T'Pol explains. Uh-Oh Hawkins wonders why they want to kill them. Duh -- because they're crazy. That's a wasted question, Uh-Oh Hawkins, you just lost your turn. T'Pol tells a story of Vulcans stalking Vulcan like two giant stalking things with homicidal rage and paranoia in their breasts. Uh-Oh Hawkins looks slightly nervous that he might be sitting with a paranoid, homicidally mad Vulcan.
Quantum and Reed crawl through the tubes and fight the two Vulcombies. A lot. I really like that they've kept Quantum's face an oozing mess of blood all this time. No, it's not because I like to see Quantum hurt -- well, not just because of that -- I like the makeup reality. Quantum comms Uh-Oh Hawkins and T'Pol to get their cotton-candy asses down the tubes to join them.
An asteroid. Trip talks Trellium-D problems with May-All-That-They-Could-And-Do-Leave-Behind, who wonders if it's safe to bring the stuff aboard. "Don't worry, it only blows up in its liquid state," Trip assures him. Are they going to build an asteroidman now? The asteroid starts to rumble like it went to Suppenküche for dinner, ordered the Hering nach Hausfrauenart mit Schmand, Zwiebeln, Gurken und Kartoffeln, and is having second thoughts about it. Wavy-gravy lines anomalize the asteroid face. Hoshi comms them that they're experiencing a spatial anomaly (really?) and should hie home.
Okay, this is bullshit. The Evil Dr. Mathra just got an email from a student saying that her coach "would rather" she not miss practice to take his midterm. WTF!? Someone explain what academics is coming to when some snot-nosed, overprivileged, whiny student can get my husband to sit with them for yet another two-and-a-half hours out of his personal time (which, by the way he now has to do with half a dozen other students at half a dozen different times already) while they take the midterm at an extra-special time just because their coach "would rather" they not miss their precious practice? I'm boggled, just completely boggled. This is COLLEGE! You go there to TAKE MIDTERMS! Then again, this is an institution where windsurfing can be taken for credit, so I shouldn't be that surprised. Yet, you see how I am.
In the sh'pod, Trip and May-All-That-They-Could-And-Do-Leave-Behind barely miss a planet-sized asteroid as they take off. The effects are really cool. They have a few problems but ultimately make it back to the ship on one thruster.
Selaya. The Away Team goes somewhere. I forget what they were trying to do. There was talk of the launchbay and then Sickbay. But they got to Sickbay. Now I think they're going to an auxiliary control room on Engineering to do something. Yes, that's it -- they're definitely going there to do something. T'Pol cries out that the transceiver's been damaged; Quantum asks if there's a chance of repairing it, but T'Pol's already flipping out. Looking this way and that, rolling her eyes, flapping her arms. Quantum brings T'Pol back to the here and now and gets her to concentrate.
Enterprise. Trip lists damages to his sh'pod to a repair team. Hoshi comms that they're getting a transmission from Quantum. Quantum explains the situation to Trip and says they need help getting off the ship. Trip can't get to them for a few hours, so Quantum sends over the medical data on the Vulcan crew and orders Trip to get Phlox working on it.
Selaya. T'Pol tremblingly explains her repairs and asks Reed if he's finished with his part. He is. T'Pol tries to do something but suffers a nasty shock for it. I wonder if it will show up in her hair as a white lightning bolt. "What did you do?!" T'Pol shouts at Reed, who stammers out an explanation. T'Pol literally throws him aside and shouts that he didn't sequence his technobabble properly. "Then we'll have to try something else," Quantum says firmly. "It's pointless! The circuits are DAMAGED!" T'Pol throws the damaged (and plastic) circuits at Quantum and Reed and shouts that she should've been watching him. This is really funny. T'Pol comes over all paranoid and accuses Quantum and Reed of treachery, betrayal, and general plotting to undermine her. Quantum tries to calm T'Pol down and tells her they need to find another way off the ship. Reed offers that he may have found one, but it's going to take a significant amount of technobabbling. What Reed's plan will result in is a reactor breach -- I've watched Geordi roll under that descending fire door too many times not to know that that's very, very bad. T'Pol doesn't like that idea, but Quantum thinks it may be their only choice. T'Pol backs away from them and says, "You want to kill all of us!" She pulls a gun. Reed fumbles with his. "You don't trust Vulcans! You never have!" Reed whispers loudly to Quantum that her gun is set to "kill." Quantum tries to talk the weapon away from her. "Don't think I've forgotten! You blamed us for holding you back -- for undermining your father's work! Now you've decided to take revenge!" It must be exhausting to talk in constant exclamation points. Quantum and Reed move forward, and T'Pol promises that she'll fire. Quantum reminds her that they're on a rescue mission, not a vendetta. He also asks her to consider why he would order the weapons on "stun" if he really wanted to kill the Vulcombies, and I'm just waiting for the inevitable addition. Voila: "It's not logical," Quantum adds. Vulcombies pound at the door, distracting T'Pol, and Quantum forces the gun out of her hand. I think this is where T'Pol should kick his ass. Not because I'm mad at him -- not this time -- but because she's Vulcan and she's wicked strong, and should be more so if she's a little nutty. Quantum pulls a gun on her.
Enterprise Sickbay. Phlox analyzes the scans Quantum sent. Trip is confused: "T'Pol and I have been working with Trellium for weeks -- she hasn't shown any symptoms." Phlox points out that they haven't been successful in synthesizing the Trellium in any significant quantities. "The crew of the Selaya, however, had the misfortune of wandering into an asteroid field filled with the compound. Trellium-D is a potent neurotoxin to the Vulcan nervous system. It disrupts the synaptic pathways that allow them to control emotions. Unfortunately, the rate of decay is accelerating." I'm glad they actually came up with a pseudo-scientific reason for all these emotional upheavals, one that actually prevents them from finding an easy way around the anomalies. Kudos to the Poor, Stifled Writers.
Selaya. The Vulcombies wreak more havoc on their ship. "Is it too late?" Quantum comms Phlox. Phlox thinks he can rebuild T'Pol, but he needs to start right away. Quantum asks if there's anything he can do to help the Vulcan crew, but Phlox believes it's far too late for them: "The neurological damage is irreversible -- they're dying, Captain." T'Pol screams from the floor that Phlox is lying and wants the Vulcans to die. Quantum loses his connection. Dry ice creeps into the area, and Uh-Oh Hawkins announces that the Vulcombies have flooded them with hexofluorine. They may be completely bughouse, but those Vulcombies sure are resourceful with the fake toxins.
The Vulcombies pound on the bulkheads. The Away Team cough. Quantum confirms that they have fifteen minutes to get clear after they initiate the system overload. "No! Murderer!" T'Pol screams at Quantum. Quantum tells her that the people can't be saved and, keeping a gun on her, gets Uh-Oh Hawkins through the trapdoor in the ceiling. He calls Reed over and boosts T'Pol through into Uh-Oh Hawkins's care . Vulcombie hands appear on the edge of the door as they force it back. Quantum hurries Reed, who finishes the overload and goes through the trapdoor. Quantum follows. The Away Team run through the corridors and go through more trapdoors in the ceilings. It's like Alice in Wonderland on this ship. Some explosions start along the surface of the Vulcan ship. At one point, T'Pol tries to escape down the rabbit hole, but Quantum grabs her around the waist and lifts her away. She flails like a tantrumic child. Too bad he doesn't know the Vulcan neck pinch. Uh-Oh Hawkins runs ahead and gives them an estimation of how far they have to go before they sleep. On the way, T'Pol stops to look at a dead Vulcan on a snowy evening. Uh-Oh Hawkins sees a giant hole in the floor and gets upset. Yanking T'Pol along, Quantum joins them as they fight off two more Vulcpire Bats. "How are you with the long jump?" Reed asks. Thrusting the sulky Vulcan into Uh-Oh Hawkins's care, Quantum gets Reed to help him lay a beam across the gap. He encourages T'Pol to walk the balance beam with him, but she'd rather die. Actually, she'd rather kill him. She lunges at Quantum with a roar, who finally stuns her and bodily carries her across to (arguable) safety. If he dragged her by her neck, he could just say he was trying to protect her and he's sorry for the toothmarks. Fending off a fresh wave of Vulcombies, Reed orders Uh-Oh Hawkins across. I wonder if their guns are set to "kill" now. I mean, they're going to blow up the ship anyway, so what does it matter? In true horror-flick fashion, Uh-Oh Hawkins can't finish his balance beam routine without a Vulcombie hurling himself at his feet, trying to drag him down. Damn Soviet judge. Uh-Oh Hawkins kicks him into the crevasse and gets to the other side. He and Quantum tug at the door. Reed leaps across the balance beam -- in one jump, it seems -- and subsequently destroys their Bridge to Terabithia. The Vulcombies gesture madly from the other side as the Away Team scuttle under the door. A few lemmingish Vulcombies even run right into the pit of despair.
Many more explosions on the exterior of the Selaya. The sh'pod is still docked on its side, and Quantum can't shake them free. Uh-Oh Hawkins announces that they're being hailed. Is it the Vulcombies, and are they going to say, "Now I'm on the fifth step. Now I'm on the fourth step. Now I'm on the third step..."? Because that would be awesome! Sadly, it's only Trip to their rescue, with May-All-That-They-Could-And-Do-Leave-Behind as his pilot. Quantum explains that they can't release the docking clamps. Trip tells him to stand by, and we see a beam fired at the docking clamp holding Quantum and Qrew. It neatly severs it, and they both fly home. Behind them, the Selaya explodes. Quantum and Reed exchange relieved looks and then look at T'Pol. She's napping in the back. Breathing heavily.
Enterprise. Trip and Quantum look at some chunks of Trellium. "Should be enough to line the foreward hull," Trip says. Quantum closes the metal case and says, "It may be awhile before Phlox finds away to inoculate T'Pol. Take this to cargo bay one, store it in the bio-hazard locker."
Sickbay. Quantum checks on T'Pol, and Phlox says they got her out in time; now her synaptic pathways are mending nicely, although it will be a few days before she's back to her old, repressed self. Can't you just see the crew tiptoeing around T'Pol until she can control her emotions again? She'll throw spoons when there's no plomeek soup and start crying at Kodak commercials. Quantum wants to talk to her, so Phlox hyposprays T'Pol awake. She looks naked under her blanket. Hey, writers, why is T'Pol naked under her blanket when the problems she's having are above the neck? Does her skintight velour interfere with the scans of her skull? Quantum tells T'Pol that she's going to be okay, but the Selaya went down with all hands. Do you think the band played "Nearer My Surak To Thee"? Quantum apologizes for not having a choice, and Phlox adds that their fate was sealed long before Enterprise arrived to blow them up. Phlox leaves and tells Quantum not to be long. Quantum explains T'Pol's allergy to the Trellium Trip successfully mined. "It's essential that you protect this ship," T'Pol says, staring up at the ceiling. I'm so certain Phlox has those "I hate Mondays" or "Hang in there!" posters taped to his ceiling. Although in his case, they're not Garfield or kittens, they're slugs and worms and bats with twelve eyes. "Leave me on the habitable planet," T'Pol dramas. Quantum isn't going to do that. T'Pol sits up and passionately almost preaches the "needs of the many" speech. Quantum's got a thumb on her shoulder for some reason. Quantum assures her that they'll find a way through all this, and he's not planning on leaving people behind if he can help it. "I can't try to save humanity without holding on to what makes me human," Quantum tells her. Oh, barf. Go put it on a Franklin Planner page.
Movie Night. A Violet Veloured Vulcan sits in the front row and watches what appears to be a mystery. What happened to the Bing and Bob idea? Phlox makes inane comments to Trip, who makes inane comments back. Without turning around, T'Pol hints that they should stop their yapping. "Part of the fun of a mystery is trying to solve it before it ends. Using logic. You of all people should appreciate that," Trip argues smugly. T'Pol gives him the half-turn and responds, "Then use logic more quietly." Trip's jaw drops hysterically, partly in disbelief and partly because he has absolutely no comeback. The screen goes dark, and Quantum orders everyone on tactical alert.
In the hallway, someone buzzes by the Violet Veloured Vulcan really fast. She pauses and turns around. It happens again. The screen goes all bulbous -- like looking through an apartment peephole -- as T'Pol gets on the turbolift. One of the Vulcombies appears in the turbolift and attacks her. She fights him off and runs down a corridor. Stuff explodes and T'Pol has to fight off more Vulcombies. They surround her and start pulling her down, hissing, "T'Pol! T'Pol!" But their "T'Pol" turns into Phlox waking her up in Sickbay. She opens her eyes, and another Vulcombie looms over her. She gasps and sits up. Still unnecessarily nude under that blanket. Phlox grabs her shoulders, shakes her, and tells her she's okay. "You're on Enterprise. You're safe." Shaking, T'Pol lies back down again. Credits.
Creepy. I mean, except for that "it's all a dream!" thing -- I liked that. I know the whole episode wasn't a dream, but I wonder which part was. Just the movie sequence? I fervently hope Quantum's "a human saved is a human earned" speech was a dream, because that would mean T'Pol sees him as handing out cheesy speeches as though he were sommeliering a wine tasting.
week: Hoshi gets sucked into Labyrinth. I hope she's not too bored to ask, "You remind me of the babe." "Which babe?" "The babe with the power." "What power?" "The power of voodoo." "Who do?" "You do." "Do what?" "Remind me of the babe," and then David Bowie starts dancing and singing with his Tina Turner hair. I love that movie. Maybe I'll have to Netflix it this week.