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Quantum and Qrew set out to make First Contact with the intellectually and technologically superior Vissians. However, when Reed and a Vissians go off to eat cheese and see his guns, things start taking a turn toward the sexual. Not one to be left out of a surprisingly well done episode, Trip gets tangled up in a Vissian couple's baby-making procedure by teaching their third-party-conception thing how to read and watch movies. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Aside from the glaring fact that Quantum seems to pick and choose his ethics based on whether or not they go with his outfit, this was a pretty interesting episode.
Enterprise checks out a big, bright, flamey thing. No, not Graham Norton. If reports can be believed, it's a "hypergiant." I'm giggling over the thought of mothergiant being annoyed that neighborkidgiant fed hypergiant too many Nerds. The qrew talks about the flamey thing going supernova in a few hundred years, and Quantum regrets not being there for the big bang. "Speak for yourself, I may very well be around," T'Pol comments. Trip tells Quantum they can't forget about Vulcan longevity and then asks (again) how old T'Pol is. T'Pol just looks at him. BAH! How great is it that she can quell him with a look? I should try that. They attempt to move in closer, and discover another ship deep in the flames ahead of them. They call them up and agree to make an amiable First Contact with the Vissians, who are from Vissia. Over the audio connection, Quantum and the Vissian captain discuss scanning the hypergiant. "Have you measured its rate of nucleosynthesis?" Capt. Vissian asks. Quantum pauses. "I'm afraid we haven't developed the technology to do that," he answers. Hee. He has NO idea what Capt. Vissian is even talking about, does he? Capt. Vissian is more than happy to shareware their technology with the humans. Quantum invites them over for dinner, since both species admit that meeting new species is one of their primary goals. "It'll be nice to have a First Contact where no one is thinking of charging weapons," Trip comments. I think Reed's actually disappointed by that fact. No worries -- he gets to play with his gun later.
I really wanted to exercise my primal scream during the song, but the cats were so peaceful-looking with their noses tucked into their paws, I just had to restrain myself. It was a struggle, but I don't mind suffering for my children.
Captain's Mess. Quantum and Capt. Vissian -- previously Tomalak on TNG -- have a quiet dinner alone together. Quantum discovers how technologically advanced the Vissians are. As Quantum laments the fact that they can't go into a star to explore it the way the Vissians can, Capt. Vissian offers to take him along in their stratopod. Capt. Vissian also makes a point of consoling Quantum with the fact that their technology will someday evolve to allow them to do what the Vissians now do, so we know that they aren't just handing over random technology. They make a date to see the star together.
Mess Hall. Flanked by two women, Trip explains the concept of a vanilla and chocolate sundae to two Vissian females. He instructs them to eat the cherry first. "A human tradition?" one of the Vissian females asks. "Exactly," Trip says, as the other puts the cherry in her mouth and eats it. How did she know not to eat the stem? Reed interrupts this tete-a-trois and asks to be introduced. Trip invites his armory buddy to make the fair acquaintance of Traistana, a xenobiologist, and Velo, a tactical officer. Hey, "velo" is bike in French. Wonder how many rides she's given. And yes, I know the captioning spelled it "Veylo," but this way I can make a sex joke. Reed sits down and suggests that Trip go elsewhere to meet the Vissian chief engineer. The idea of meeting a man who deals with throbbing parts is more attractive than watching two females deal with their first cherry, so Trip pushes his sundae over to Reed and happily trots off.
"I'm told you're the chief engineer," Trip says to a table of three. The man introduces himself and his wife and acknowledges that Reed pointed him out earlier. Trip takes a seat and confirms that they are enjoying their meal. "I hope that you get the chance to sample our food -- it's more fragrant than yours," the Vissian Chief Engineer comments. Trip agrees, but admits to being more interested in the engine room. Trip sticks out his hand to the third person at the table and tries to introduce himself. The third person doesn't look at him and just says, "Hello." Shot in a very unflattering light, the features of this third person are definitely androgynous, and the voice is female, but a deep female. "It has no name, it's our cogenitor," the Chief Engineer's wife explains. Trip doesn't get it, so the wife explains, "We're hoping to have a baby." "Ah," Trip says, clearly not still not getting it in the least. The Vissian Chief Engineer, who from now on I think I'll call Massa, tells Trip he should get inoculated against Omicron radiation. Trip agrees, and steals another look at It.
Sick Bay. Phlox inoculates Trip with a twelve-year dose, and Trip asks Phlox where Vissian babies come from. Phlox is not surprised to hear him tell of a cogenitor for a three-gendered species, and even explains that the Rigellians have possibly five different genders. "I'm pretty familiar with how it works with two sexes but..." Trip trails off. "Multi-gender techniques aren't always the same but in this case I imagine that the cogenitor provides an enzyme, which facilitates conception," Phlox explains. Trip wants to know what "provides" means. "Well, first the female has to --" Phlox starts, but Trip stops him, saying he doesn't think he wants to know. "Ah!" Phlox says, holding up a finger, "Well, I have PICTURES!" Hee -- he's so excited about it. Phlox goes to press a button above the SCAT, but again, Trip stops him, saying he'd rather not. Shut up, Trip -- I wanna see pictures! And want more of an explanation on the procedure other than just "enzyme provider"! As Trip starts to leave, Phlox advises him that as he came along on this road trip to meet other species, he should keep an open mind.
In the advanced driver's ed class, Quantum and Capt. Vissian pilot the Vissian stratopod through the hypergiant while Capt. Vissian quotes Shakespeare. Apparently, he read all the plays the night before in an effort to better understand the humans. Easy Reader, that's his name. Reading words, that's his game. Having dispensed with Shakespeare, Capt. Vissian thought he'd speed-read his way through Sophocles as well, and asks what Quantum would suggest for his night's reading. "Seems like you're picking the good ones all by yourself," Quantum comments. Hee -- Quantum has so much water on the brain, he doesn't have a clue what to suggest. Just a few minutes ago he thought "Sophocles" was a laundry detergent. Quantum and Capt. Vissian express mutual admiration of one another's cultural advancements, and continue on their way into the hypergiant.
Vissian Engineering. The Massa explains stuff about their engine to Trip, who is a lot more interested in the Three Gender Problem. "I don' meen to pry, but does ev'ry family have a cogenitor?" Trip pries. Massa explains that a cogenitor is not needed unless the couple is trying to make a baby. Trip asks what happens when there's no babydancing going on. "The cogenitor is assigned to another couple," Massa tells him. "They make up about three percent of our population, which seems to be a perfect ratio. Nature has a way of finding the right balance." Clever way to make sure we know this tri-gendered species' way of procreating was handed down naturally and not genetically engineered, which, of course, further blurs the line between right and wrong. Not that Trip ever saw the line in the first place. To Trip's invasive question, Massa confirms that the cogenitor Trip met is the only one on their ship at this point: "Once Calla and I are finished with It, I doubt It'll be needed before we return home." More half-hearted technolistening on Trip's part as he susses out that It lives in a room within Massa's and Mrs. Massa's quarters. "What does it do when you're not..." Trip trails off. "It eats and sleeps. There's not much else for It to do," Massa says, a bit puzzled by Trip's question. Then why did they even bother bringing It aboard Enterprise if they put It away when not in use? They weren't exactly cogeniting all over the table. Unless I missed it. "What about school?" Trip asks . "They only serve one purpose, sending It to school would make no sense. Why are you so curious about them?" Massa asks. Trip shrugs, "Humans are very curious." "Nosy." I think "nosy" is actually the word you're looking for, Trip. Back to their original purpose of being in Vissian Engineering in order to learn more about their ship, Massa drops the first year chemistry bomb that some polymer they have is composed of over two hundred naturally occurring elements. Trip freaks a little. "I read in your database that you've only discovered ninety-two, I understand that this might seem unnerving," Massa admits, launching the anvil of That's Not the Only Thing He Finds Unnerving into the stratosphere. "A lot of thangs around here do, but I'm tryin' to keep an open mind," Trip smiles sickly.
Quantum's Quarters. Quantum packs up for a three-day Getting Trip's Authority Figure Out Of The Way So He Can Butt Heads With A Vulcan Whose Judgment He Doesn't Entirely Respect When He Decides to Interfere with Another Culture tour into the hypergiant with Capt. Vissian. Quantum juices over all the stuff he's going to scan. T'Pol thinks three days is a bit of a journey to take in such a small craft with someone he doesn't really know. Quantum's not worried in the least, and drops the Casa-blah-ca anvil: "This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship." Shut up, Quantum. You're not worthy to quote Bogart, especially if you can't even get the damn words right. Misquoting a movie from two hundred years ago reminds Quantum that the Vissians would like to borrow some DVDs. "I put together a few suggestions," Quantum says, handing over an e-pad. T'Pol says she'll see to it. "You're in charge," Quantum says, hefting a bag and happy-trailing out. "Of the ship or the movies?" T'Pol wonders. That was a really weird line.
Engineering. T'Pol passes the movie downloading buck to Trip who asks if she met their engineer. T'Pol met him. "He and his wife are trying to have a baby," Trip comments. "How interesting," T'Pol says, sounding exactly like me when I read over synopses for upcoming Enterprise episodes. Trip says, "There was someone else with them -- they called her a cogenitor, do you know what that is?" T'Pol knows, and wonders why he calls It a her. "Well, she looks more like a her than a him," Trip blunders, and then expresses his issues with It being treated like a pet but a pet without a name. "It's not our place to judge the customs of other cultures," T'Pol points out mildly. Man, I'll bet she really regrets being put in charge, because you just know she can see exactly what is coming. Trip goes on some more about this being more than an issue of respecting a Japanese household. T'Pol suffers to explain that tri-gendered reproduction is not out of the norm. "That's not what I'm talkin' about -- this is a question of human rights," Trip says. Like the idiot he is. "They're not human," T'Pol says, probably agog that she has to point out such an obvious fact about their new friends. Then again, since it's Trip, she's probably used to pointing out the freakishly "duh." T'Pol feels the need to mention that the captain is really excited about their newfound friendship with a species that doesn't feel inclined to shoot them as soon as Quantum opens his gazelle mouth, so Trip better not do anything to screw it up.
Not liking T'Pol's perspective, Trip goes off to Sick Bay in the hopes of getting Phlox to agree with him. However, since in the course of his conversation with T'Pol, Trip compared It to one of Phlox's leeches, I wonder why he thought Phlox would be at all sympathetic to his "moral" dilemma. As predicted, Phlox also thinks Trip should stay the heck out of the Vissians' bedroom. Ignoring Phlox's statement that it's not a question of "right" or "wrong," Trip wonders if, when the doctor scanned the Vissians before they came on board, he scanned their neural nets as well. Phlox didn't. Trip decides he wants to scan It's brain functions to see how they compare with Massa and Mrs. Massa's mental capacity. "Why would you want to?" Phlox incredules. "Jes' curry-us," Trip lies.
Mess Hall. Reed introduces Velo to the art of smelly-cheese-eating. "You said our food was aromatically bland and I thought this might change your mind," Reed explains. He could have sliced open a few white onions and made her snort them as well. Velo sniffs a piece before putting it back and judging, "Mild but very nice." Reed spears another cube and offers it to her. Velo sniffs, "The odor's a little spicier -- what's it called?" "Stilton," the Brit proclaims. "Chef says it's pretty pungent." What kind of British household was he raised in anyway? Stilton, port, and nuts are all par for the course with the families I know over there. Reed admits that it's been a long time since he tried it. So long that he's forgotten how it tastes? How is that even possible?
As lis grows green with envy, Velo feeds Reed the Stilton and he likes it. Velo points out a third cheese and asks its name. "Alsatian Muenster," Reed shouts out to me, since that was a question on my Provincial French Exam. Velo shoves the piece under Reed's nose and asks if he doesn't find it sensual. Yes, I find it to be the most sensual of all the stinky cheeses. "Very," Reed says, taking a bite. Velo draws one of her fingers across Reed's lower lip -- I think she was trying to clean up his smudged lipstick -- and pulls the bitten cheese away. "Can we visit the armory later? I'm interested in seeing your tactical array," Velo says. "There's an old Earth expression: 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours,'" Reed smarms. Velo bites into the Muenster. You know that pick-up line only worked on her because she's an alien and doesn't know any better. If he tried that cheesy (ahem) line on a human he'd get a Cosmopolitan in his face. Although, does anyone really throw drinks in people's faces? Especially in the faces of people they don't even know? Maybe the worst he'd get is a muttered, "Um, I think my friend needs help sitting down. 'Scuse me." I just refuse to believe the Hollywood stereotype that the average female barfly is really that much of a bitch.
Hypergiant. More pleasant male bonding between Capt. V. and Capt. Q where Capt. Q. invites the Vissians to Earth for potluck.
Vissian Engineering. Trip allows a few words regarding real work to pass between them before he again launches into his roundabout questioning of Massa's private life. With faux nonchalance, he asks what kind of quarters married couples are given aboard the Vissian ship. "The captain's very generous," Massa states. "Well, I wish ours was," Trip says looking around Engineering. "I've got a room not half the size of this one." Well, I'd hope so! I mean, they're standing in the Vissian ship's Engineering-- that would be like saying your bedroom's not half the size of a gymnasium. Plus, Trip's not married, so why should his quarters be any larger than they are? I mean, know it's all a ruse to wrangle a way to see It again, but it's not a very believable one. Trip's an idiot. Shamelessly, Trip invites himself into Massa's rooms, saying that if he could describe it to Quantum, maybe he'd knock down a few walls to expand Trip's quarters. Massa invites Trip to dinner at their place: "You did agree to try our food." After Trip exclaims over Mr. and Mrs. Massa having a dining room, Massa promises not to prepare anything too pungent.
Massa Plantation. Trip plays with a brightly-colored plate of food. He sniffs his forkful of something and flinches slightly. Mr. and Mrs. Massa smile expectantly at him. Trip nervously puts the fork in his mouth and relaxes. He shrugs slightly and comments, "It's pretty mild considering the, um, smell." Damned by praise so faint it needs smelling salts and a velvet couch. My mother taught me how rude it was to smell one's food before eating it, but here is a culture where it would be rude not to smell the food first. I think that's keen. Of course, when you smell it, I don't think it's strictly polite to curl your lip the way Trip just did but, then again, he's a moron. Mrs. Massa explains that smell is more important to them than taste. Trip comments that the meal must've taken her all day. Mrs. Massa laughs charmingly and says that if she'd had all day, she would've prepared a "far more scented meal." Beaming with pride and swaggering his head a little, Massa explains that Mrs. Massa's job as head honcho of the microgravity lab prevents them from making extensive meals. Trip pretty much dismisses that and asks if It will be joining them. "It rarely eats more than one meal a day," Massa responds. "Oh, so in our Mess Hall..." Trip trails off, hoping they will fill in the blanks. "Bringing our cogenitor aboard your ship was an exception," Mrs. Massa explains. I assume it was because they took Mrs. Massa's temperature and decided they could have one-off in a broom closet somewhere? Trip comments that that's unfortunate, as he would've liked to say hello. Mrs. Massa can't see why he would want to do that, and Massa explains to his wife that Trip is very interested in their reproductive practices, since humans are bi-gendered. In that case, Mrs. Massa immediately gets up and says she'll see if It's awake. Trip nods and forces out a smile.
Sick Bay. Phlox examines the neurological scans Trip must've taken surreptitiously of the Vissian three, and determines that there is no difference in brain power between any of them.
Stratopod Of Male Bondage. Quantum begs to take the joystick. Capt. Vissian objects at first, not thinking Quantum can handle it, but Quantum persuades him. There could be so much Corned Beef Slash stuck in the teeth of the Quantum/Vissian scenes, but I just don't have a big enough toothpick to poke it out.
Vissian Engineering. Trip pretends to be paying attention to what Massa is telling him, but then asks where the Mess Hall is, saying he hasn't eaten since that morning. Massa offers to show him if he can wait a few minutes, but Trip wants to find it alone. Walking through what I'm convinced are the hallway sets of "Dead Stop", Trip finds a circular door and rings the doorbell several times. Finally, It answers. Without looking at him, It says, "They're not here." Trip tells It he came to see It in order to bring It something that will teach It to read. Man, that is one weird sentence. Trip hands over an e-pad. So, if I wanted to make "It" possessive, would it be "Its" or, because it's actually being used as a proper name, "It's"? Heh -- every time I write "It," I think of the huge throbby brain in A Wrinkle in Time that controlled everything on the planet. Wouldn't it be cool if It was really It? Unbelievably, I haven't even started drinking yet.
A "Passion Pink" razor for women? What's -- razors decorated with rainbow heart-chasing unicorns?
It's Room. Trip tries to explain why he wants to teach It to read, and It tells Trip he shouldn't be in It's quarters. Trip gets up to leave, but pauses to tell It that It is as smart and capable as Massa and Mrs. Massa. It doesn't believe him, and says It is only needed by Massa and Mrs. Massa so they can have children. "It's not a question of what they need," Trip pontificates, "You have the same rights -- to learn, to choose how you're going to live, to have a name." It tells Trip things don't work that way on Vissia. Trip asks who's going to raise the baby when it's born. "They will," It responds. "Why? You're just as crucial in creating the child as they are," Trip insists. Except that it doesn't sound like It contributes any significant DNA. It again tells Trip that he doesn't understand. Trip sits down again and tells It that his doctor looked at It's brain scans and determined that It has just as much potential as any other Vissian, and the only thing that sets It apart is It's gender. "Haven't you ever wished you could read?" Trip asks. "It won't hurt you, you know. There's nothing to be afraid of." Well, looky there -- the anvil of Oh Yes It Will! and his twin Oh Yes There Is! just made it to the round on American Idol. Shack's going to have his hands full with those two -- I hear they have a large internet following even more annoying than Clay's. It smiles slightly and stops with the arguments, so Trip pushes the e-pad over to It. It pushes a button, and the non-Majel Barretted e-pad says, "Today we're going to read." I think Trip is making a mistake in not starting It off with the classic Frog and Toad Are Aliens or Targ and Gagh for Frances.
Stratopod of Human Bondage, sans Bette Davis and Leslie Howard. Quantum is still steering while Capt. Vissian takes scans. They experience mild turbulence, but Quantum brags that he can handle it.
Armory. Velo admires Reed's torpedo array. No, not that way -- well, yes, that way, but not yet. "I'm afraid our weapons are somewhat more sophisticated than yours," Velo comments. I don't think that's the kind of thing a guy wants to hear. "This technology must seem rather antiquated to you," Reed says. "Well, where I come from, 'antiquated' can be kind of quaint," Velo says. I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but in my twelve-year-old head, I keep replacing "weapons" and "technology" with words like "dinners" and "pee-pee." And I'm doing a lot of snickering over here. "Is that how you see us -- 'quaint'?" Reed wonders. "And charming," Velo adds. They examine some plasma rifles, and Reed explains how they're charged. "I suppose that's very quaint too," Reed adds. "Not at all," Velo contradicts him. "We charge our weapons the same way." Bamp-chicka-wocka! Reed offers to show Velo some cannons. He opens a small door and says, "After you." Velo steps in and gives Reed an eyeful of fanny, of which Reed takes full advantage. Reed follows her in and elaborates on how his cannon works. God, everything I write here is a double entendre without me even trying! Reed apologizes for how small his area is. Okay, he apologizes for how cramped the cannon vestibule is, but it's the same thing, especially since Velo says the size doesn't matter because she's wanted to get "a little closer to [him] all day." Reed can't believe his luck. "I was hoping to spend some intimate time with you, in fact, I was hoping we could sleep together tonight," Velo says. Reed jumps at this and bangs his head on an overhanging pipe. Wonder what Freud would make of that. It pisses me off that I would have actually laughed at the physical comedy if UPN hadn't whacked it off all friggin' week. Reed attempts to recover his dignity by telling Velo that on Earth it's customary to ask a woman to dinner first before spending the night with her. "It's very different on Vissia. It's only when a woman enjoys her intimate time with a man that she'll join him for dinner," Velo says.
It's Room. It reads a book out loud to Trip, who marvels at how quickly It picked up reading. He tells It that It could study all sorts of things and not sit in It's room all day. It says that "they" would never let It learn any of the things Trip mentioned. "Then you've gotta convince them. It's not just learning, it's experiencing things. Music, swimming in the ocean -- you do have oceans on your planet?" Trip asks. "Yes!" It says. Slapping on a wimple, Trip encourages It to climb every mountain until It finds It's dream. It really wants to climb mountains. Mother Triperior then makes to leave, saying he's expected at the astrometrics lab. He promises to see It as soon as he can. On his way out, It stops him and says It would like It's name to be the same as Trip's. Trip tells It that his real name is Charles. It decides to be called Charles as well. That's all sweet and syrupy and (tear!)-ish, but I'm still calling It It.
Stratopod Of Messy Male Stuff. The turbulence gets a bit rougher -- just the way Quantum likes it, I'm sure -- and they seem to be in trouble. Quantum can't manage to get them over the top of the huge phallic phlare, and is very anxious about it. He gives up on mounting the phlare and decides on another course of action. Capt. Vissian wonders what he's doing. "If you can't get over a wave, you gotta dive through it!" Quantum announces. So, what -- he surfs now? I guess he does all the water sports. ["Ew." -- Sars, age 5] Quantum's gamble works, and Capt. Vissian is impressed. He asks where Quantum learned that little move. "North shore of Oahu. Body surfing," Quantum smugs. If he likes to play in the water so much, why doesn't he go soak his head? Having proven himself, Quantum hands the controls back over to Capt. Vissian.
Enterprise. Trip sneaks It on board. It asks if Trip will be punished for his actions. "Punished? No, but they might get a little angry," Trip brags. It says It will be punished, so Trip suggests taking It back. It says It wants to see the ship, so Trip says they have to be careful and not get spotted. As Trip takes It to the transporter pad, you can see officers walking by at the other end of the corridor. Way to keep an eye out, Capt. Obvious. He explains the uses of the transporter, and It really wants to give it a whirl, but Trip discourages It. It wants to see where Trip works, so they head off to Engineering.
They come through a small door -- much like the one that gave Reed the vantage point view of Velo's bum -- and enter Engineering. Where, of course, NO ONE is working. He points out the engine and talks about how sophisticated the one on the Vissian ship is. It now wants to see Trip's quarters, so Trip offers to show It a movie.
Trip's Quarters. Trip scrolls through some movies before finally selecting The Day the Earth Stood Still for It's viewing pleasure. "Nuthin' like a little science fiction to break ya in," Trip says. Or to confuse It royally while scaring the hell out of It.
in Trip & It's Day Of Fun, they play Go and discuss the movie It just saw. Trip explains how humans reacted when they first saw Vulcans and how that relates to the movie. Interesting parallel here. Trip pick up on the obviouser than obvious reflection of the true human attitude toward aliens in The Day the Earth Stood Still, but the subtler nuances of Frankenstein totally escape him. Just more proof that Trip's an intellectual fruit fly. I think the Go pieces look like Mentos, and I really want to chew on one. I used chew on game board pieces a lot as a kid. It discovers that It has beaten Trip at his own game. Trip marvels at this, and he claims that no one aboard the ship has beaten him in the last two years. Yeah. Okay, buddy -- what color is the sky on your planet again? It really wants to watch a Western movie , but Trip thinks it's getting late and It should get back home before anyone realizes that It is AWOL.
Situation Alcove. T'Pol takes Trip to task, telling him that he is no longer welcome on the Vissian ship. "Why?" T'Pol asks. "I wunnit 'zackly where I wuz s'posed to be," Trip answers, his hands clasped behind his back as he stands at partial attention. "No, you weren't," T'Pol says, and details all the ways the Vissians tried to find him. Trip admits that he was with the cogenitor. "Where?" T'Pol demands. "At first in her quarters," Trip says, and then he decides to take the offensive to deflect guilt away from himself: "Actually, they're not her quarters, they belong to the Chief Engineer and his wife. She gets a room to sleep in, and if she's real gud she can use their living space." T'Pol wants to know why he was there, and Trip tells her he was teaching the cogenitor to read and watch movies. T'Pol wonders why he's concerning himself with It's edumacation, and Trip argues that It isn't getting any sort of education. "It appears you are doing everything you can to undermine the Captain's wishes," T'Pol comments. Trip babbles about It learning to read in less than a day. T'Pol tells him he may have irrevocably damaged this particular First Contact. "Yer not listenin' to a wurd I'm sayin'," Trip says in her ear, and leaves. Dumb-ass, I think yer the wun not listenin'. I'm sure it's all T'Pol can do to keep herself from dancing around and sing-songing, "Oooh, you're gonna get it when Quantum gets hoooome!"
Engineering. Trip tends to his engine, and It walks in. Apparently, the Vissians don't want It to climb every mountain, and It is very upset about it. "Don' worry, they will. Give it time," Trip says. It says, "They're angry with you. They'll leave as soon as our captain returns. They won't help me but you can," It says tremulously, and asks to stay on Enterprise.
Stratopod. T'Pol suggests Quantum get his ass back, but fast.
Quantum's Ready Room. Quantum starts to yell at Trip in front of T'Pol, but when Trip tries to explain his motives by saying, "I did exactly what you'd do, Cap'n. It's not like I had much choice, I wunnit jest gonna --" Quantum, not taking his eyes off Trip, cuts him off and says, "Will you excuse us, Subcommander?" Day-um, he is so majorly busted! Quantum rips Trip a new one and says he can't believe Trip thinks he did exactly as Quantum would have done. "If that's true," Quantum continues, "then I've done a pretty lousy job setting an example around here." Well, that's pretty accurate, buttmunch. I mean, you've bungled a helluva lot of First and Second Contacts, and though some may argue that you've now learned from your mistakes and are doing better, we never really saw you openly address those mistakes, admit them to the rest of the crew -- or, at the very least, the senior officers -- and explain why you think what you did was wrong. So wipe that damned Holier-Than-Thou Furrow off your face, because you've done some asinine things in the last two years, and while I think Trip's a total ass at times -- and especially now -- you're not exactly eating fish every day, either. Trip says he didn't think it would hurt to teach It to read. "Then you didn't think hard enough -- we're out here to meet new species, not tell them what to do!" Quantum hypocrites in a loud bellow. Trip, micro-brain that he is, doesn't see the difference between teaching It to read and Quantum's giving them books. Quantum yells the difference -- the Vissians asking for the books is not the same thing as Trip telling It to defy It's culture. "And sneaking into her quarters, bringing her on Enterprise, lying about where you were going -- why?" Quantum demands. Trip looks down, because he doesn't have an answer to that. Quantum orders Trip to come with him.
Trip's Quarters. Quantum talks to It. It insists that It can't go back, and that Trip told It that It has the same rights as they do. Quantum tells It that Trip doesn't know what he's talking about. It asks if Quantum is going to force It to leave. Quantum doesn't answer.
Mess Hall as makeshift mediation room. Quantum paces around the table in front of Capt. Vissian, and Massa and Mrs. Massa. Capt. Vissian says, "Some men can work together for years without creating the friendship and bond that we did in only two days." What exactly went on in that stratopod? On the strength of that, Capt. Vissian is certain that they will resolve this little problem. Quantum fears it's not all that easy, and explains the whole requesting asylum thing that takes place on his world. "We're not on your world, and I doubt this person truly understood what your engineer was suggesting," Capt. Vissian points out. Quantum says that he is given to believe that "this person" is as capable of understanding as any of them. Massa gets impatient that they are even bothering to debate any of it, and says that the cogenitor belongs on their ship: "Or are you suggesting that my wife and I abandon our plans to have a child?" Massa and Mrs. Massa clasp hands emotionally. Quantum repeats what we all know -- he has been asked to protect someone who thinks It has been treated unfairly, and he can't ignore that fact. "We're the one who've been treated unfairly!" Mrs. Massa shudders. "Do you know how long we've waited to be given a cogenitor?" "'Given'?" Quantum questions. "You sound like you're talking about some inanimate object." Massa jumps up and tells Quantum that he has no right to judge them. Capt. Vissian tries to calm his Chief Engineer down, but he won't be calmed. "What if one of your stewards -- the men who are forced to serve you food -- what if they should ask us for asylum?" Massa demands. Quantum says they aren't forced to do anything. "I apologize, but it's easy to misunderstand someone when you know nothing about their culture," Massa says, and sits down. Oh, he's a sly one -- did you see what he did there? He set that whole thing up to make A Point. Quantum tells Capt. Vissian for the FIVE HUNDREDTH TIME in this scene that he can't ignore a request for protection. "We're in no rush to leave," Capt. Vissian smiles. "Take your time. Consider what we've said." Quantum considers.
Walking through the corridors, T'Pol tells Quantum that he shouldn't have misgivings about his decision. In Trip's quarters, Trip watches It enjoy some chamber music. Now THAT'S a facet of Trip I like to see -- chamber music instead of harmonica twangs. Plus, did you notice the books on his shelves? C.K. Tucker-Haven, you have unsuspected depths! Quantum enters with a grave look to his furrow that's so expressive in its furrowness that words just don't seem necessary.
Outer Space. The ships unhitch from one another.
Bridge. Quantum and Capt. Vissian bid each other a fond farewell. Quantum stiffly advises his buddy, "I'm afraid Shakespeare only wrote thirty-six plays so it might be best if you took your time memorizing them." I really think he should have Phlox look into surgically removing that pole up his patoot. Capt. Vissian smiles and agrees, adding that he hopes The Unfortunate Incident won't hinder further good relations between their peoples. "You sure you don't have an extra stratopod you could spare?" Quantum suggests, not really answering Capt. Vissian's question. Capt. Vissian thinks Quantum's race will develop one soon enough. I think he's overestimating the human intellect -- I mean, they haven't developed one by Picard's time, have they? They say TTFN and hang up. Quantum says it's time to say goodbye to the hypergiant, and tells May-I'm-Afraid-Your-Time-Is-Up to get them underway. Quantum sits in his chair as though he ran out of Preparation-H last night.
Quantum's Quarters. Porthos! Aw, the puppy's on the bed while Quantum…hugs a water polo ball to himself and reads? Okay, let me make this perfectly clear: the adorable, fuzzy, alive dog is on the bed, and the ball is on Quantum's lap. You freak. Hoshi tells Quantum he has a call coming in from the Vissian ship, and that Cpt Vissian sounds upset. Quantum tells her to put him through.
Weight Of The World Window. I think this is the first justified use of it. Trip walks in, and Quantum tells him what I predicted in the first fifteen minutes of this episode -- It is dead. It committed suicide. "That can't be...why..." Trip stumbles, "It's my fault. I'm responsible." "You're damn right you are," Quantum gnashes at him. Trip is taken aback by his captain's tone. Buddy, it's just the beginning. Quantum tells Trip that it's not just It's life; because of Trip's interference, a baby won't be conceived for a good long while yet. Quantum paces, looking down, and says that Trip needs to learn the lesson that his all-too-frequently impulsive actions have their consequences. "I unnerstand," Trip says in a daze. "Do you?" Quantum bites out. "I'm not so sure you do. You knew you had no business interfering with those people but you just couldn't let it alone. You thought you were doing the right thing. I might agree if this was Florida or Singapore but it's not -- is it?" Trip continues to look stunned. "We're in deep space and a person is dead, a person who'd still be alive if we hadn't made First Contact. I guess I haven't been that successful in getting through to you. If I had, you'd have fought a lot harder before doing what you did," Quantum continues. "You're not responsible," Trip says slowly. "Dismissed," Quantum whispers, and turns his back on Trip. Trip looks all lip-trembly and inquires, "Cap'n?" But Quantum won't turn around to look at him. Trip looks down and slowly leaves. That's some tough love, people. Great scene.