Episode Report Card Demian: A | 210 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Big Gay Chris Went To 2026, And All I Got Was This Lousy Headache
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 10 | Aired on 2003.11.23
Manor parlor. Big Gay Chris sprawls on one of the sofas as the Dolt applies the tingly touch to the gaping wound in his chest. When the tingly touch doesn't take, the Dolt realizes, "Something's draining his powers and blocking mine. It's like a virus." While the Manor Morons bang their heads together to come up with a plan, Phoebe's Fucking Backup Band kicks in to further along the plot. I think. "Oh, my God," Phoebe breathes, kneeling at his side. "He loves her -- she broke his heart." Whatever, Feebs. Still not buying this whole Big Heterosexual Chris thing, but you carry on trying to sell me on it if it makes you feel better. Big Chris's hand twitches, and Phoebe opens his fingers to discover the tacky engagement ring. "Obviously an acrimonious split," Raige harrumphs. Piper collects the ring to scry for LesBianca, and orders the other two to work on a vanquish "in case she's not willing to help" once they locate her. The ladies exit, leaving the worried Dolt alone with his younger son. Big Chris pants LesBianca's name once more before dropping his head to one side, and we…
…flash to the future Manor, where Lisa Kushell from Mad TV leads a group of tourists through the main floor. "Welcome to the Halliwell Memorial Museum," she tells them, "a tribute to magic and, of course, the Charmed Ones." She instructs the group not to take photos or use magic while on museum property, and adds they should ignore the whirring camcorders floating in the air, as "they're merely scanning for witches." The tourists follow Lisa down the hall as Big Gay Chris and LesBianca linger at the entrance to the parlor. Big Chris wiggles his fingers at the probes, knocking them across the room to scan the head of a dress form wrapped in a black evening gown I should probably recognize, but don't. "Nicely done," LesBianca whispers as Big Chris chews on one of his knuckles. By the way, the "Egyptian" urn from that first-season episode I have yet to recap is rather prominently placed in the parlor's display area, and I thought they returned that thing to its rightful owner in exchange for Clay's life, but whatever. Big Chris and LesBianca trail after the group as Lisa announces, "Around you, you'll notice just a few of the many mythological creatures the legendary sisters transformed into in their demon-fighting heyday." The camera pans past Pre-Raige's green velvet medieval gown, Piper's Little Red Riding Hood cloak, the gals' super-heroine costumes, and Phoebe's mermaid tail. I'd note the reasons why none of these items would be available for display, but we eventually learn the Memorial Museum's all bullshit, all the time, so why bother?