Episode Report Card Demian: A | 210 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Big Gay Chris Went To 2026, And All I Got Was This Lousy Headache
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 10 | Aired on 2003.11.23
Future attic. Mangy Jesus strides across The Conveniently Squeaky Floorboard Of Massive Contrivance to tower above not-so-Big Chris and the I'm-just-noticing-this-now tiny LesBianca. I have to admit that despite the hair, Mangy Jesus is kind of hot. Don't tell Chris I've got a jones for his brother, though. I'll never hear the end of it. Mangy Jesus orders the henchdemons to leave them alone. The henchdemons obediently squiggle out in groups of three, the better to save on the effects budget. "Et tu, Chris?" Mangy Jesus menaces, only He mispronounces it as "ay-two," so Mangy Jesus can now shut the fuck up. Big Chris insists he didn't travel backwards in time to betray Mangy Jesus, but rather to save Him "from whatever evil it was that turned" Him in the first place. "That's always been your problem," Mangy Jesus condescends as he stalks away from them across the room. "Stuck in the old good-versus-evil morass." "I'm so past that," He adds with a shake of his head. "It's all about power," He exposits. "That's why I keep this 'museum' intact -- to remind everyone the power from which I was born and that which I possess." "Too bad the rest of the city isn't faring as well as your little shrine here," Big Ballsy Chris snorts, advancing on him. "If anyone else tried what you tried," Mangy Jesus threatens, "I'd kill them on the spot. But you?" Mangy Jesus pauses for effect before magnanimously continuing, "I've forgiven Bianca, and I can forgive you too -- if you promise never to cross me again." Big Chris challenges him, so Mangy Jesus hoists a hand into the air and draws his fingers into claws. Big Chris clutches at his throat, gasping for air. He slowly drops to his knees, and once he reaches the floor, Mangy Jesus telekinetically bitch-slaps him across the room into a low cupboard.