Episode Report Card Demian: A | 210 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Big Gay Chris Went To 2026, And All I Got Was This Lousy Headache
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 10 | Aired on 2003.11.23
Lisa reminds the tourists that the Glamorous Ladies slaughtered more than a thousand demons "before they themselves were vanquished." She then plants herself at the foot of the staircase and activates a holographic screen that replays the scene of the reconstituted Charmed Ones basking in the bluish white glow from the chandelier. Complete with reverse angles and differing points of view and jump cuts at the entrance of Fruma Shax, but again, bullshit museum, so whatever. The one thing worth noting is that Lisa claims this event took place "twenty-five years ago," so I'll be assuming Big Chris was sent back from 2026. Lisa drags the group through the kitchen before directing them upstairs to the attic. Trivia freaks will be thrilled to hear that, as her voice fades out, Lisa drones that the original Manor was destroyed in the 1906 earthquake, but the house was rebuilt because of its location above the Nexus. Big Chris and LesBianca remain after the others have left, nervously grasping at each other's hands while gazing impassively at the cordoned-off kitchen table. A demonic bouncer squiggles in across the room to snarl, "Move along." LesBianca surreptitiously conjures a dagger in her right hand and waits until the bouncer closes in on them to spin around and plant the thing in his chest. After the bouncer's howled his merrily blazing way to Hell, LesBianca darts over to the cellar door and twists on the knob, calling for Chris to follow her. He tosses her a frightened and wary glance before following.
Once downstairs, Big Chris collapses onto the lowest step while LesBianca magically disposes of the dagger. She peers around the gloom and announces that they should be safe in the basement until the museum has closed for the evening, after which they'll head upstairs to get the Book of Shadows. She finally notices Big Chris's glum expression and wonders what's wrong. He gently admits, "Sometimes I forget who you really are." "Hey, come here," she smooves, offering him her hand. "You mean who I used to be, before I met you." Big Gullible Chris swallows this line of crap and moves in for a clinch. Well, I never said he was smart. Just pretty. "So, what do we do now?" he asks. "Say goodbye," she whispers, unbuttoning her shirt, and bamp-chicka-bamp get-your-skanky-hands-off-my-man-you-bitch. Off comes the blouse, and no, she's not wearing a bra, so I guess witches have a genetic aversion to proper foundation garments. The two rather unconvincingly mack, and LesBianca stretches out her right arm to drop the blouse to the ground with an absurd flourish just so we can…