Episode Report Card Joe R: B- | 25 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Don't Cry Out Loud
By Joe R | Season 6 | Episode 3 | Aired on 01.22.2007
We next meet Wandera Hitcheye, a pretty enough girl who nonetheless has the distinction of being the first black girl I've ever seen don a mullet. And it's dyed red, to boot. It's...a bold stylistic choice, to be sure. Instead of a preface, we just hear her sing "A Change Is Gonna Come," and it's pretty average, but not awful. Simon starts off by saying that there are a thousand other singers at her skill level in this competition, and there's nothing that makes Wandera stand out from the crowd. From home, I say, "Besides the ruby-red femullet," but nobody hears me. Paula and Randy agree, and it's not like I'm prepared to go to the mat for this girl, but she was a decent singer. Good enough for Hollywood at least. Though Simon's right, on the merits, I'd have passed her through. Like many of her fellow Memphisians ("Memphisites"? "Memphisticuffs"?), Wanda resorts to begging, which is sad. Then, like many of her fellow Idol auditioneers period, she starts pitching a fit once she's in the hallway, cursing and crying and threatening a cameraman.
Wandera's ouster leads to another Montage O' Suck, which tells us that a good number of the Memphis rejectees took it hard, while another, more encouraging portion took it with good-natured humility and attractiveness. Then, in a weird segue, Ryan transitions us into a Mini-Montage O' Love and Tinkly Piano, all of which lead up to Travis McKinney. Travis can't seem to shut up about this song he's going to sing -- how it represents his and his girlfriend's rocky relationship, and how it's super-emotional. He honestly says "emotion" about fifteen times in the lead-up, all, "When I do that song, there's gonna be so much emotion in that room. I almost hate singing it, that's how emotional it is. You're gonna second that emotion. Caution: falling emotion! Seriously, y'all, bring a poncho, because the first three rows will get emotion all over them." Ryan tells us to prepare ourselves to feel the love...and then Travis kicks off his audition by flailing his limbs about in a bizarre Michael Jackson jujitsu, nearly knocking Randy and Paula out of their chairs, due to an excess of the emotion we call "fear." Oh, and he can't sing. Did I need to mention that? Honestly, beyond the ninja kicks and Paula and Randy almost falling down, there's not much else to say. Travis is yet another Memphis auditioneer who asks to sing a second song. Were they all given a different set of instructions? Ones that said "begging and pleading will certainly help your case, should your freakshow of an initial audition prove unsuccessful"?
Next up, "local girl" Danielle McCulloch, 18, who looks like what would happen if Kristen Bell started hanging out with Paris Hilton. Dude, Kristen Bell, please don't ever hang out with Paris Hilton. Not because of Danielle, just because. Danielle actually could be pretty cool, if we (and she) could get past her outer Tara Reid. She sings an Aretha song and sounds like one of those soulful country singers. I could see her as cannon fodder in the semifinals, to be honest. Randy wasn't "blown out," but Simon liked the "blues" in her voice. Randy votes "no" and says she'll be out "first day, first minute" in Hollywood. Paula deems this "harsh" and votes yes. Simon says he agrees with...Paula. Danielle's in. Randy gets all, "Prove me wrong, children. Prove me wrong," about it. And thus ends Day One, though Ryan refuses to tell us how many made it to Hollywood. He's so withholding sometimes.
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