Episode Report Card Joe R: B- | 25 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Don't Cry Out Loud
By Joe R | Season 6 | Episode 3 | Aired on 01.22.2007
Oh, okay! Sorry, I just figured out the geography of this whole thing. The cattle calls were in East Rutherford, but this sign here tells me the actual auditions in front of the judges were at Chelsea Piers? That makes sense. Not making a whole lot of sense is Isadora, who looks like if Jennifer Connelly really went to pot. She tells Ryan Isadora is her middle name, but she won't tell him her first name. "It starts with a J and I'm not telling," she says, and Ryan plays the guessing game (it's "Julie"). Isadora tells us she's a "clairvoyant for a living" and she reads Ryan's palm, while Ryan makes faces to us that indicate she's full of shit. He keeps calling her "Julie," too, which is funny. We keep seeing random shots of Isadora playing guitar on the busy streets of New York. It all adds up to "crazy person," even if she doesn't entirely seem so when she's talking, but I suppose it shouldn't be too much of a shock to see her sing "Lady Marmalade" in these very inhuman tones. It goes on for-EVER, and there are orgasm noises near the end, before she changes tactics and tries some Janis Joplin. Simon mercifully cuts that off before it begins. Simon asks her what normally happens when she sings in front of people. She rambles about singing with George Clinton, and also about how she sometimes gets arrested, as street people often do. Simon says she was terrible, an assessment she tries to blow off with this "you only like pop artists" stuff, like she could win if only their taste in music didn't suck. Paula brings up "Chris Daughtry" as an example of "rock," which Isadora could easily shoot down in spectacular fashion, if she only knew who Chris Daughtry was. "Versace?" she asks. Okay, Isadora. That's all. "I'm a good singer," she stubbornly assures us, before making with the crazy eyeballs outside with Ryan. Back inside, there's an incredibly fake shot of all four judges, open-mouthed in the horror that was Isadora. That's so lame.
Ryan asks Isadora to sum up Day Two of New York. "Day Two or Three?" she asks. Ryan's like, "We've only been here for two days. How many days have you been here?" "Three," she says. That...seems kind of rational, really. Ryan, however, "think[s] that pretty much sums it up." Whatever, Ryan. You did what you could with the not-as-crazy-as-you-hoped person. He calls her "Julie" once more ("Isadora," she reminds him), and then we're done. Bye, crazy New York people! Way to ruin it for the rest of us!
Next week: Alabama! God-fearing Christians! We're sure to find an eventual winner there! Jacob will lead you, cautiously, through the land of Taylor Hicks.
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