Episode Report Card Joe R: B- | 25 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Don't Cry Out Loud
By Joe R | Season 6 | Episode 3 | Aired on 01.22.2007
Melinda Doolittle, 28, is a backup singer looking to make it on her own. She's got a hat and everything. She is crazy nervous and tells us that she's had to sit on her hands to keep them from shaking. She's got her shoulders in a perma-hunch, like she's trying to shrink away from sight. She tells the judges that she's a background singer, and Simon asks if she hates every singer who she's had to back up. Melinda demurs, because she's a nice young lady, but you know Simon's all about some All About Eve in this place. "Did someone say All About Eve?" Quiet, Seacrest! "Oh goodness no," Melinda says, which I loved. Then she says what she liked best about singing backup was that it allowed her to stay in her comfort zone, but she knows she needs to get over the fear of being front and center by herself. And why not in front of the largest audience on television? She sings "For Once In My Life" by the underutilized-on-this-show Stevie Wonder, and honestly, what a beautiful voice. When she's done, she looks to the judges for validation, and Paula's like, "You're good! You're really good. Why do you need us to tell you this?" Randy notes that she looks "scared to death" and then expresses his belief that backup singers are rarely able to make the transition to solo star because they don't possess "the Simon Cowell thing" wherein they are a giant egotist. Simon, you'll note, does not disagree. He does, however, think Melinda was fan-freaking-tastic. He says even without the bravado and confidence of 99% of the auditioneers we've seen, she is a "brilliant" singer. Top 2%, says Simon, as he kind of goes on and on about it. He really likes her, which is great, because I do too. I hope she can develop a personality should she make it to semi-finals.
Well, it's taken us almost the whole hour, but we finally arrive at an Elvis-singin' fool. And he comes in the form of Robert Lee Holmes, who is blacker than Elvis, to be sure, but he's also more learning disabled as well. And he's got a chipped front tooth, like he's Lloyd Christmas. He says there's only one rock song he can sing, which is "Hunk O' Burning Love." You're officially a dick if you encouraged Robert to go on this show. Ryan literally asks him to dance, as they stand outside the audition room. Robert stutters that he's not going to dance so much as "do little movements." Ryan just stares at the weirdo without saying anything, because while part of his job lets him goof around with marching bands, the other part of his job is to make fun of people like Robert. Robert tries to use his big words to say that his "outstanding voice and outstanding vocal" will allow him to be the next American Idol. Inside, he says, "I sing, dance, act, and I write stories." What kinds of stories? "I write stories about the music of Robert." "How does the current part end?" Simon asks. "With a period," Robert answers. Good Lord. Whatever, on with it. Robert's touched, and he cannot sing, and Simon's beyond over it and is harsh as a result, and three "no" votes means he's done. Next!
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21Next