Episode Report Card Joe R: B- | 25 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Don't Cry Out Loud
By Joe R | Season 6 | Episode 3 | Aired on 01.22.2007
Of course, we're just moving on to the waiting area, so Sarah can continue to freak out even more. She yells at some blonde girl who only wanted to comfort her with empty platitudes. Then she starts yelling at the home audience. "We are people, too!" she screams, utilizing an argument that always works so well. "Just because we don't have a million dollars and don't have singing deals, doesn't mean that we don't have lives and doesn't mean that we don't have important things in our lives!" I hope that when you were watching this on Wednesday, you were paying attention to the first row of auditioneers behind Sarah, who are straight-up laughing at her. Sarah says she's become friends with these people, with "Ray and Jen and BILL THE SECURITY GUARD!" Bill, it seems, was nice enough to film a pickup shot so it looks like he emerged from a doorway all, "Crazy girl said what?" Sarah continues that she was told the judges were "out drinking in New York City until THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING! And that is rude!" That was the goofiest thing...I still have no idea where any of that was coming from, but I'm glad she was able to give everyone else a good laugh just then. Crazy ass.
All of this foolishness may not have been entirely necessary had Simon been here all day, but he's here now, still on that goddamn phone call to no one. The judges re-shuffle their positions -- Simon's not sitting next to Carole anymore, you'll note -- and welcome the next audition...who is a fedora-clad, 47-year-old Rat Packer from Brooklyn who's wasting teacher's valuable time with his rendition of "New Yor, New Yor." Ugh. Next!
Next up is Jory Steinberg, who is wearing a shirt with one of those giant Aztec medallions that drive me so crazy on it. Jory is originally from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, but now she lives in Santa Monica. I originally thought the show was fudging with eligibility requirements again by letting the Canadian menace cross over into our proud reality show, but a little research tells me that other Idol finalists hailed from up north as well, including the ever-hated Carmen Rasmusen. Jory talks about her Ottawa upbringing and says she was able to meet with several Prime Ministers of Canada, other foreign heads of state, and then we see a photo of her just hanging out with the Queen of England. Now, I'm not intimately familiar with all the ins and outs of Canadian life. I've been to Toronto several times, and Buffalo has been derisively referred to as "practically Canada" enough times within my hearing, but I don't know. Is it normal for Canadians to hang out with the Queen? Maybe that's just what you do on the weekends in Ottawa. Bowling with the Queen and then on to Tim Horton's for a coffee. Jory thinks her Queen-hanging-with skills will have been more than enough preparation for "kickin' it" with Simon. Looking at her, she could be Alanis's younger, better-connected-politically-speaking cousin. She sings a song called "Chains" by Australian singer Tina Arena, and she's wonderful. Simon is very impressed. Carole thinks she's going to Hollywood, but Simon tells her to not jump the gun yet. Yeah, Carole. This is a process with defined rules that are quite important, especially when Simon remembers to show up. Anyway, Jory is headed to Hollywood, and outside, her mother (I'll assume) falls onto the floor even before Jory's fully out the door, which is funny.
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