Episode Report Card Joe R: B- | 25 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Don't Cry Out Loud
By Joe R | Season 6 | Episode 3 | Aired on 01.22.2007
Outside, the cameras follow Phil as he takes off running. Running to Jacksonville! Better pace yourself, dude. Ryan tells us that 22 people from Memphis got golden tickets, including Perla Meneses's doppelganger, a girl dressed up like Dusty Springfield, and -- though I cannot be 100% sure -- Gina Glocksen, who got cut in the Hollywood round last year and who I loved. Post-montage, we hit the Stacy family hospital room, where Phil hauls his wife and kids in front of the cameras. Everyone is happy and beautiful, so it's nice. And he calls his wife "the most forgiving woman in the world," which I think still ain't getting him out of diaper duty for a long while.
Wednesday
Seacrest gets his misdirection on as he stands in the middle of Times Square and pretends like the Idol auditions aren't being held at the Meadowlands in New Jersey. He reminds us that the show hasn't been to New York since Season 3, and they've never found a winner from "this area," though he fails to place the blame for this on the Christian God, as I do. Seriously, though, you and I both know that this show only chooses contestants from Dixie or California, so what's the deal? We're supposed to feel let down that Kevin Covais and Anwar Whatshisname and Constantine couldn't bring it home to the Northeast? I try to come up with a reason to care as Ryan kicks it to credits on the giant NewsCorp video screen.
New York, New York is: pedestrians, taxicabs, cop cars, rampant commercialism, pigeons, bridges, buildings, Lady Liberty, and then a hundred billion freaks of nature looking for five seconds on television, accompanied by a dozen or so actual aspiring singers. An adorably young girl dressed up like a Gay Pride float -- well, the rainbows and beads portions, anyway -- who we will soon find out is Rachel Zevita, who I totally forgot to include in the recaplet, which is a shame, because she's excellent. Anyway, she tells us the American Idol will be from New York this year. Local pride runs strong in this one, as we'll see again. Ryan Adams's "New York" (you know, that song of his that isn't as awesome as "Come Pick Me Up") plays in the background as various people try to guess the amount of needy, delusional people showed up today. I suck at abstract numbers or measurements, so I can't exactly mock them. Some girl in a tank top tells us that "Everybody and their mother is gonna be here. Especially the crazy ones." (Cue shot of body-painted drag queens.) "And no," she assures us, "I'm not one of them!"
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