Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Get it on. Bang a Vaughn. Get it on.
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.11.2003
While I'm chatting up my new would-be boyfriend, Vaughn's trying to assure Syd that the CIA won't let Sloane get away with the gyroscope theft. They'll make a defective copy of the scope for Syd to give to SD-6, and all will be well. Unfortunately, the pictures from which the CIA could actually make the copy are currently accompanying Dix to Nice at the moment. Vaughn's all, okay, well, then we'll get a team to France. "When you're through with the mission," he concludes, "make sure you're holding the gyroscope. We'll duplicate it on site. And, Syd, you should know that, uh, we've been doing everything we can to help your father."
Screeeeeeech! Someone just ripped that needle right off the record. Syd's cheekbones sharpen and clarify until it looks like her face is made of soapstone, not flesh. No wonder Face wants to switch with her. Syd's all, uh, WHAT? You've been helping my father. Vaughn's all, yeah, so? Syd's all, so you KNEW the Alliance was investigating my father. Vaughn's all, again, yeah, so? Syd's all, well, uh, would you care to share just how LONG you've known this? Vaughn finally clues in to the fact that Syd's a wee bit perturbed. "Two weeks," he responds, moving toward her. "Syd, I understand you're upset." Uh, YEAH I AM, she spits. Then there's a lot of "So you --" and "Then I --" and "But you --" and "He's not --" and "How dare --" and "You bastard --" and "What the --" until, finally, Syd goes OFF. "There's no upside to keeping me informed?" she carps. "You didn't tell me about Monolo or that you had discussions with my mother! You didn't even tell me that you were seeing Alice again!"
Screeeeech! Again, needle off the record time. What? Whuh? Uh. Syd? I think you went a tad too far with that one. Vaughn obviously agrees with me, because there's this sort of stunned pause and then he's all, uh, I beg your pardon but how in the HELL does my seeing Alice have jack-all to do with you? What is this about? Syd waffles and backtracks and brings it to some lame-ass conclusion about how this is about her being too old to be coddled. "Your life is complicated, Sydney!" he shouts defensively. "Forgive me for trying to make it any easier!" Syd leans in, thins her lips until they practically disappear, and goes, "I don't need you for that." Vaughn just grimaces and stubbornly nods his head as if to say, "Yeah? Well, good! Because I don't need you for that either! Or again! Or WHATEVER! Fuck you!" They glare at each other, and Syd flits off in a well-controlled huff as Vaughn's left behind to stare at the floor in search of secret to figuring out that infernal creature known as "woman."
Oops Center. Jacky's chillin' at a computer, playing a refreshing game of QBeez, when a message comes through from Sloane. In a voice-over, we hear Sloane telling Jack that he informed Face Doneaway of Jack's late-night visit to Sloane's place. "Not because I believe you're guilty -- I don't -- but because I had to." He goes on to tell Jack about the Alliance, and we flashback to F. Murray Abraham sticking Sloane in the neck with the tracking device. Okay, I know it's not F. Murray Abraham, but the guy TOTALLY looks like him. I mean, really, would the man who so brilliantly portrayed Salieri in Amadeus actually do time on a network show? I highly doubt it. Of course, the man who recently appeared in the horrific Thir13en Ghosts probably would relish doing some time on a QUALITY network show. Because, you know, an hour spent in the presence of Matthew Lillard is one hour too many, my friends.
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