Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Get it on. Bang a Vaughn. Get it on.
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.11.2003
The French guard pulls her aside and she's all, watch the hands, Romeo! This ain't a date! No, I'm not kidding. She looks back, sees that Schatz is about to come through and that she might lose him, and says, "Okay, wanna get your thrills?" And then she rips off her top, exposing a relatively disgusting black and red PVC bra, and stomps her way through the security gate, conveniently bumping into Schatz on her way through, cutting through his holster, and relieving him of the gyroscope.
And she does this all with Phyllis Diller's purple fright wig on her head.
She goes "excusez-moi" at Schatz, passes through, dumps her coat on the belt, turns and faces the French guard in all her punk rock glory, and then stomps back through the gate, eliciting no alarms. The French guard thanks her, she thanks him, and then she openly, in front of EVERYONE, puts a big-ass silver disc of a gyroscope into the pocket of her bag. It's the size of an ASHTRAY. Dix, not realizing that EVERYONE IN THE AIRPORT HAS SEEN THIS, congratulates Syd on her good work and tells her that he'll see her in L.A. Syd stalks off, bag in tow, with a semi-grin on her face.
French Oops Center. Syd enters and hands the gyroscope off to Agent Sean. She looks over and sees Vaughn on the phone. "Base ops," says Vaughn, "this is Boy Scout. Mountaineer has just delivered the package. We're proceeding with the copy." He hangs up. Syd clomps over and thumps her bag onto the end of the table where Vaughn's standing. He moves over to her. "We're estimating two hours 'til the duplicate is ready," he says. She just looks down at the floor, unsure as to whether or not those big frosty black things on her eyelids are false lashes or radioactive mutant spiders. Vaughn looks over at Agent Sean, who gives him a sideways nod; the universal guy sign language for, "Dude. Go for it. Or I will." Vaughn looks back at Syd, looks down at his shoes, looks back at Syd, wonders if he can unbutton another button on his oxford without attracting attention, and finally says, "Listen, uh, do you want to go to dinner? When we were driving into town I saw this place. Rousseau, I think it's called."
Syd drags her eyes up from beneath their burden and just looks at Vaughn. She looks totally surprised. But Syd's wig is totally psyched. The wig's all, hell yeah! In fact, fuck the dinner, let's just FUCK! Unfortunately, Syd's all, Vaughn, uh, whuh? We can't do that, dude! Vaughn's all, why not? Syd's all, I'll give you two good reasons why not. My mother and my father. They've been married for over fifteen years and they hate each other -- oh, sorry. I just channeled Cameron Frye there for a moment. Syd's all, for a million reasons. "If Alliance security sees us together, they'll kill us." "The nearest Alliance cell is in Zurich," he says, determined to get a yes out of her. "The CIA tracks SD-6 security section. There haven't been any signals, no movement." Syd's all, you're SERIOUS? Vaughn just goes, "We've been to restaurants and sat near each other. We've met in parks and convenience stores, and all of them in L.A. where we are much more likely to be seen. Look, two things -- one, I think it's not that great a risk and two, I am hungry. I'm starving." If Michael Vartan said ANY of this to ANY of us, he would have had us at "Uh, do you wanna have dinner?" But when he tosses in the "I am hungry, I am starving" comment, and his mouth kind of turns up at one corner, just hinting at the beauty that is his full complete smile, I think -- no, I KNOW that we, all of us, would have PASSED OUT DEAD from the glory of it.
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