Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Get it on. Bang a Vaughn. Get it on.
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.11.2003
Tiki Torture Room And Luau Lounge. Face Doneaway's plastic surgeon is about to stick her with another needle full of Botox when she notices that Jack, strapped to the official Chair Of Crucifixion, is slowly rejoining the land of the living. "Hello, Jack," says the woman who, with every new tuck and peel, gets that much closer to Jocelyne Wildenstein territory. "There's a plane waiting to take us to London, but I thought we should wait for your daughter to return before we left." Jack just stares at her. Really, there's not much more he can do, considering that he's buckled into a chair with his left arm readied for an injection. "I came here to investigate a blackmail but...you've proven far more compelling than a simple thief." "I know what you did," rasps Jack slowly. "Do you? I'm eager to hear what that may be." Dr. Dermabrasion moves over next to Jack's arm as Face explains that what's in the syringe is sodium pentothal. The camera closes in on Jack and then Face and then Jack and then Face and GOOD GOD NOT THAT CLOSE! Jesus. That visage was NOT meant for extreme close-up, people. Shudder. "Won't take more than a few minutes," she says, taking a seat. "Then we'll talk about Sydney."
Anyway, before Dr. Dermabrasion can administer the truth serum, the doors burst open and Sloane makes his deus ex machina entrance. With no sound, we see Face sort of fling her arm out and mouth, "Get out of here this instant!" I seriously think this woman is entirely put together with rubber bands and epoxy, because it looked like that last arm fling was going to send her appendage winging off into the corner. As Sloane's men grab the feisty and ferocious Tiger Lady, we hear Jack explain in voice-over, "Five minutes longer and I would have told everything. Sydney and I would have been revealed as double agents and killed."
Jack is lifted off the chair and Sloane puts his arm around his back, supporting him and walking him out of the room. "Fortunately," continues Jack in voice-over, "Sloane saw the email that I sent him from the server room, detailing what I discovered." Face Doneaway is tossed into the Chair Of Crucifixion, and Dr. Dermabrasion prepares HER arm for injection. Considering how much growling and shrieking she's doing right now, and just what havoc it's wreaking on her distressed facial tissues, I seriously hope that after Dr. D extracts all the info he needs from his truth serum-injected quarry, he'll perform a little chemical peel free of charge.
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