Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Get it on. Bang a Vaughn. Get it on.
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.11.2003
Jack winds up his synopsis, and Syd wants to know why the Alliance investigation is focusing on him. "I was no more a suspect than anyone else," says Jack, "but as they examined my conduct, they realized I had secrets. Elements of my alibi that, because of our work for CIA, I can't fully justify." "And Sloane -- does he think you did this?" asks Syd. "I'm not certain," he clips. Syd's all, so what? You gonna just hang around Oops Center until the Alliance grows bored or something? Jack's all, yeah, for the moment. They have good doughnuts and, you know, Lena Olin's in a cage at the back. Wouldn't EVERY MAN IN THEIR RIGHT MIND stay here?
"The man I went to meet at the movie theater," says Jack, "had information about the Alliance. Intel I'm not sure the CIA can access." Syd's beeper goes off. It's one of her many SD-6 pimps. Jack's all, you better go in. Syd's all, no way! I'm calling in sick so I can help you! Wait. Can evil spies working for underground organizations even call IN sick? I mean, it's not like they're accountants or anything. They fly around the world and steal global secrets and kill people in the name of justice or whatever; I don't think calling in sick is really an option here. Whatever. Jack's not really fond of the idea of Syd not going in because, basically, Face Doneaway ain't interested in Syd yet, but if she fails to show up for work, Face's interest is pretty likely to be piqued. "You can't allow that to happen," he concludes.
Credit Dauphine, a.k.a. "SD-6," a.k.a. "The Place With The Big Shiny Red Light Room," a.k.a. "Where Good Agents Go Bad," a.k.a. "Captain Crackers's Cave Of Chaos." Syd exits the extra-special elevator and enters The Big Shiny Red Light Room. She then walks in slo-mo through the super-techno lanes of SD-6 and passes by Face Doneaway, who's just milling around some desk with one of her minions. As Syd passes, Face looks after her with this expression on her face that's totally, "Okay, THAT'S the face I want! That one! Grab her! We're gonna do a little Face/Off on her sharply sculpted cheekbones!" Seriously. She looks like a rabid hyena. I am more than a little frightened of her at this moment.
Conference Room Of Endless Expositions. Sloane, Syd, and Dix just sit there as Inspector Dingus stutters, "Okay, let's be honest. Among life experiences to be avoided, getting kidnapped definitely ranks near the top. E-except, actually, third grade kind of sucked, too. There was this whole thing -- lunch money thing. That's all right. I kind of overdid it but you saved my bacon. Thank you." Then he gives Syd an arrangement of pale pink roses that's roughly the size of a late-model Ford. Then Dingus hands Dixon a gift of cologne and blithers something about how it's a really nice scent and it's going to be nice on him, not that Dixon needs a new scent because his natural scent is really -- Sloane's finally had it. "Marshall?" he says, managing NOT to crack up completely. "You know, I'll be quiet now," says Marshall. "I appreciate that," says Sloane, ready to get down to business. "Actually, Mr. Sloane," continues Marshall, obviously not aware that Sloane would kill him just as soon as look at him, "I noticed you're not wearing the tie I gave you." Sloane shoots him a glance; Marshall just goes, "That's okay," and finally shuts up. Ron Rifkin just swivels and looks over at Carl and Jen as if to say, "Okay, I am NOT laughing this time, you guys. I am NOT. You guys! Oh, shit!"
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