Episode Report Card M. Giant: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's a Little Funny
By M. Giant | Season 3 | Episode 25 | Aired on 08.30.2004
Then he's chasing her -- fully dressed again -- through the motel parking lot as she basically figures out what happened with him that day. Matthew wants to know why she didn't just tell him the truth, and she says, "Because I loved the way you looked at me." Like she's hot? Has it been that long? Doesn't everyone look at her that way? That's all we get, though, because she walks off, hurt and pissed. He just lets her march off into the night. Dude, you're driving. Must you pass up every chance to be a gentleman here?
The end. Oh, not really. Matt's back at school the next day, walking sadly through the halls. He spots a poster counting down the nine days until Samnang's arrival. Poor Matthew. He's lost Spawn, and now the only love he has is Samnang. Matthew goes back to hanging with his friends, and because it's been a good ten minutes since our last montage, we're overdue. He studies his speech cards, and we see that he's crossed out half the JFK "ask not" quote. Dude, the only thing worse than using that quote is using half of it. Then it doesn't even make sense. He looks out his classroom window as another delivery truck passes by. This one has failed to conjure Spawn. You suppose he misses her?
Later, she opens her front door and he's standing there with a whole speech and apology and excuses and how the only thing he cares about is Spawn, and she just stands there in her fishnet sleeves and lets him talk until a man's voice says, "It's a real nice place you got here, D." The remark comes from a veritable paragon of male skankiness who's suddenly standing behind Matthew in plaid pants, a wifebeater, a devil woman tattoo, three days' stubble, an appraising grin, his own heavy-metal soundtrack sting, and hair that's beyond bed-head. It's centrifuge-head. And in tonight's production of Risky Business, the part of Guido the Killer Pimp will be played by Timothy Olyphant. Spawn asks Matthew if they can talk about it later, which is fine with him since his balls crawled up into his chest the first time he got a look at Guido 2.0. Matthew books.
Out on the front walk, though, he hesitates and turns back. He hasn't gotten more than a couple of steps when the door opens and Guido 2.0 comes out, throwing Spike's red shirt on over his wifebeater and lighting up a smoke. He gives Matthew a sunny smile and expresses his approval at Matt's sentiments, gesturing warmly at his heart. He sits down and introduces himself as "Kelly." Matthew gives his own name and they shake hands. Awkward pause. The confusing nature of Matthew's relationship with Spawn is summed up for Guido 2.0 thusly: "We're kinda going out." Kelly pretends to look impressed. Spawn comes out the front door in a leather jacket and a crushed velvet beret. "Look at you," smarms Guido 2.0. "You are a forest fire." In the sense of being something that should have been prevented, maybe. They're on their way out for the evening, and Guido 2.0 invites Matthew along. Spawn would rather he didn't join them, but Matt's taking Guido 2.0 at his word: "Where're we going?"
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