Episode Report Card M. Giant: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's a Little Funny
By M. Giant | Season 3 | Episode 25 | Aired on 08.30.2004
Afterward, Matthew, Klitz, and Eli watch through a window as the entire popular crowd skips class and heads off to the beach. Matthew gets a case of late-onset senioritis and tries to get his friends to skip class with him, but they're not down with it. "The beach is for fags, man," Eli pronounces. Oh, how I miss high school. Matthew's had enough of this, and heads. Out in the parking lot, the cool kids are covering up their California license plates. Matthew says to himself, not for the last time, "Fuck it." Because, as anyone who's seen Risky Business knows, sometimes you just gotta say, "What the fuck." It's just that when they were stealing the material for this movie, they didn't have enough room in the truck for all the words and had to leave some behind. Matt gets behind the wheel of his chick-magnet Taurus station wagon. He clicks his seatbelt as the in-crowd tears out, piled into pickup beds like letter-jacketed migrant workers.
The cool-kid convoy screams past the school security officer, throwing beer cans at him and making it impossible for him to identify anyone. Matthew, some distance behind, sees this and realizes he's screwed, but he tries to play it cool. That's something else he's going to be doing a lot of. Badly. At the exit, the officer flips on his siren and pulls up next to Matthew, hollering at him to pull over. Matthew guns it. I thought this kid was supposed to be smart. As Matthew watches, the security officer's vehicle gets in a head-on collision with an oncoming car, his skull rupturing in a cloud of blood and brains and glass. Okay, maybe I was wrong about what kind of movie this is.
Oops, it's just fucking with you again. Matthew has actually hallucinated that entire scene and he's still sitting in his car in the parking lot. Great.
Matthew comes home to the accompaniment of some Tangerine Dream music on the soundtrack, yet another one of the many, many invocations of Risky Business we're about to endure. A VW convertible is parked in front of the house next door, and Matthew looks at it like he's never seen it before. Who do you suppose it belongs to? He walks into his house, where his parents are sitting and visiting with another couple. The other guy, Mr. Peterson, congratulates Matthew on his admission to Georgetown. The thing is, Matthew has to work on this speech for a scholarship competition so he can actually afford to go to Georgetown. The MattRents look a little uncomfortable at this remark. I guess they don't have much equity in this huge house in this nice neighborhood they're living in, hmm? Maybe they're renting. Or squatting. Anyway, Matthew explains that he's in a competition to be the student with the most moral fiber. So we already know he's fucked.
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