Episode Report Card M. Giant: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's a Little Funny
By M. Giant | Season 3 | Episode 25 | Aired on 08.30.2004
Matt and his guys are walking across campus. Hey, what's Guido 2.0 doing there? He's chatting up a few female students, who, oddly enough, didn't turn and run the other way at their first sight of him. He's talking to them about being "hot," and asking if they've ever been "photographed" and if they're "eighteen," and not a single alarm bell appears to be going off inside their heads until Guido 2.0 spots Matt walking toward them. "Do you guys know Mattie?" he asks the girls. "I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits." That's an expression we don't hear nearly enough of any more. As Matt, Eli, and Klitz join the little conversational grouping, Guido 2.0 cranks up the oily charm, going so far as to pretend he's pulling a baggie of weed out of Klitz's backpack. Now they all have the girls' attention. But Guido 2.0 is just playing for now. He leads the boys off to his shiny black vintage convertible and they all pile in as he says, "Always leave 'em wanting more." Just then a truck full of cool kids rolls by and picks up the girls. There's significant eye contact between the school alpha males and the guy who's invading their turf, but not much ever comes of it. Guido 2.0 talks about an idea he's having right that moment about shooting the students at a football game or at prom -- ahem -- "humpin'." "Where do I get these ideas?" he continues. "It's like a gift. It's like I can't control it." Then he turns to Matt and says, "So. What are we doin', man?"
With Matt in charge of the crazy times, he and Guido 2.0 end up at…the bank. Matt, slow down, man! You've got your whole life ahead of you. Plenty of time for out-of-control stunts later, okay? The teller, a middle-aged redhead named Jeannie, congratulates Matt on raising the $25,000 for Operation Get Samnang. They talk about his genius and how he taught himself calculus without using a textbook, which poor timing, Samnang, because a few centuries earlier he could have actually invented it. "Those crazy little fuckers," marvels Guido 2.0. "They sure do know their numbers." Matt lies and introduces Guido 2.0 as his student advisor. Why? Because anyone could ever look at that sketchball for one minute and think "student advisor"? Because he feels he has to make excuses for every person who accompanies him into a public place? Or because it sets something up for later? Hmmm. Guido 2.0 flirts with Jeannie and she responds in kind. Matt stalks off, pissed at this guy for stealing his movie right out from under him.
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