Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 60 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Smartest Guy In The Room
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 01.28.2014
Hanna: "No, it is Hanna. I have gone crazy in a new way. Let me tell you about James Patterson. He is a mystery writer and I think maybe his understanding of the criminal mind will..."I have never read a book of his, although we share a birthday so obviously he is a premium human: It is written in the stars. Also I think my very hip mom once mentioned enjoying his YA books, which from what I have pieced together involve magic teenagers that are half bird and like to drive cars real fast. Or the cars are magic? Or possibly it is the cars that are part bird. I don't know, sounds fun either way.
Spencer: "You're reading grandma books? Is Travis reading them to you?"
Hanna: "First of all, sick burn. Secondly, don't be an ass. Third of all, no. I no longer have time to make Travis feel weird about me and his own body, for I have discovered genre literature."
Spencer: "I feel like this is actually going to factor into this episode, somehow. Listen, do you think that Alison's mystery date would involve novels and travel, or shovels and gravel?"
Hanna: "Given every moment of our lives so far, plus Ali's wacky ways, the latter. Although if the date were Aria, totally the former. Anyway, I gotta go read like a hundred more books by this guy so I can figure out who the dead girl is in Ali's grave."
Spencer: "Is this your life now?"
Hanna: "Until Emily stops being pissed at me for not being pissed at you, my only friend is Mr. Patterson."
Spencer: "I totally thought James Patterson was that kid in World History that sniffs his fingers."
Hanna: "Is he half bird?"
MONTGOMERY
Aria and Emily are both rocking a tremendous amount of hair. Aria is wearing I think regular skinny jeans, a checkerboard button-down, and a plastic jacket in eye-burning aqua along with one necklace too many. Emily is dressed like a Mata Hari superspy, as usual -- uses her wits, her skills, her sex appeal in equal measure -- mixing it up with a graphic tee that is red with an orange lightning symbol like she is super.
Upstairs you find Mona, just chilling in Aria's bedroom like it is no big thing. Too bad that Spencer and Hanna, her frenemies, are on the other side of the Liar Schism this week: Either one of them would have something to say to her. But because it's Aria -- who barely clocks who Mona even is -- and Emily -- who hates everyone and everything indiscriminately right now -- they have to just work with side-eye and bitchiness and hope she doesn't strike. Aria really rocks this scene.
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