Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 60 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Smartest Guy In The Room
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 01.28.2014
Aria: "Says the bitch what took 'im for a three bed two bath and a quote "fancy summer camp.'"Maggie: "Says the bitch what sleeps with her teachers to boost her GPA."
Oh, Aria does not like that much. She grabs Maggie, ready to throw down some Jake on her, but instead she just knocks this pathetic box of stuff out of Maggie's hands, shattering a picture of Malcolm. (One of the Malcolms.) Immediately, Aria shifts into Anita mode and wants to help Maggie pick up her crap, but Maggie is too proud! So Aria takes off, knowing damn well she lost that round and it's her own fault even.
SCHOOL
Emily: "So you just... Bounced? You knocked her shit to the ground and bailed?"
Aria: "Yeah. I'm sure this'll help with his custody battle. For a child he barely knows and to whom he is unrelated."
Emily is walking her bike, which has no GPS with which to haunt it, and wearing a strangely cute waffle-cutout thing, and sweet brown leather jacket. Aria, meanwhile, is wearing a black jacket with one thousand haphazard grommets punched into at random. Sometimes you just wanna look on the outside like you do on the inside.
Emily: "I mean, he didn't put out a hit on her. You were just doing Aria. Any judge would understand within five minutes of meeting you that you are a rogue agent."
Aria: "You and I both know I'm mostly just worried she'll tattle."
Emily: "You were acting as a friend. It was a good thing you were doing, at least in your own mind. I mean, you're not his girlfriend, right? It wasn't just bitches fighting."
Aria: "Yeah, right. Right, I wasn't being a jealous girlfriend even a tiny bit. Anyway, I'm skipping class just in case. Cover for me?"
Emily: "Sure. I'm going to see him, actually. Codirecting the spring play."
I will give you five dollars if we ever find out what "the spring play" is. I will mail it to your house.
Aria: "But Emily, you're already freaking out because of school. Is this because you stopped driving your car like some kind of Amish?"
Emily, verbatim: "Because I tried to stab him with scissors."
Aria: "Your dad? That is an interesting thing to say... Hang on, I have to abruptly be all about me."
Emily: "There's a shocker... Oh shit, is that Mona and Mikey making out in broad daylight over there? What the fuck is going on today?"
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