Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 60 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Smartest Guy In The Room
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 01.28.2014
Aria: "Get the fuck out of my bedroom, you creep. Why are you in my house?"
Mona: "Because I am friends with Mike. Does that blow your mind?"
Aria: "I've met his friends and honestly, no it does not."
Mona, FTW: "This may come as a shock to you, but there are people who don't tuck and roll whenever I walk into a room."
She compliments the wallpaper on her way out, how it suits Aria, which is a total in your face: The wallpaper is a toile print of a carnival made of tiny dead birds, a rare amusement from Victorian times. Tiny dead bird ringmaster hollering into a megaphone while tiny dead birds ride pennyfarthings around a giant spherical cage and a tiny dead bird with a chair and a whip tames a tiny dead bird.
NEXT AM
Aria: "Michael, a word?"
Mikey: "Sup."
She fully summons him into the room to like, mediate his childhood for him and how she doesn't want to be a hardass but also she is a cool mom but that doesn't mean there aren't rules. She does this in an aqua Navajo racer-back tank-top with a metal dickie, which you would think would undermine her point but really it just underscores the topsy-turvy world of Aria Montgomery telling you how you should do anything. If this is who's driving the bus now, Mikey thinks to himself, We are all laxboned.
Aria: "Explain Mona Vanderwaal."
Mikey: "I met her in a sort of discussion group. Like an after-school meeting thing."
Aria: "That sounds like Jesus. You're being evasive in a Jesusy way. Or is this for terrorists?"
Mikey: "More the latter. It is for people who do things such as break into houses to steal guns, or are A. It is for crazies."
Aria: "But surely there must be a faculty supervisor..."
Mikey: "The one that knows Mona spent years of her life trying to murder us retired. Now it's just some dummy who thinks he's helping It Get Better."
Aria: "Not to mention she broke up our parents."
Mikey: "Pretty sure that was Dad and good ol' Meredith that did that. And you spent a whole episode forgiving him for that shit."
HASTINGS
Emily's wearing plaid, so you know something is about to occur.
Dad: "Nobody can figure out why your GPS tried to kill you that time. Do you think it was a hacker ninja?"
Emily: "Oh, hell. Well, I'm not driving that shit from now on."
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