Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 60 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Smartest Guy In The Room
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 01.28.2014
MARIN
Spencer is rollin' in the deep by the time she stomps up to Hanna's bedroom and starts making her bed... with Hanna still inside it. Oh girl.
Hanna, verbatim: "You're lucky my mom finished her box of Chardonnay!"
Spencer: "Sorry I had to break into your house and you weren't answering your phone and I got a lead from this story that I imagined in my head and it is the Hart & Huntsman it's a pub see a college bar near Hollis College where Alison's mystery man Boardshorts took Ali for pie and beer and we gotta go there right now are you ready and do you need me to help you get out of this bed I have just hospital-cornered you into."
Hanna: "You wanna go to a bar? Spencer, I'm not even wearing underwear. Look, I scheduled a cleaning at the dentist, and..."
Spencer: "What does teeth have to do with this did you not hear me I said I found a..."
Hanna: "Spence, honey. They got Ali's dental records from the office I used to work at, supposedly. We know it wasn't her in the hole, so somebody switched the x-rays."
Spencer: (Zapping and flapping and twitching and fitching and wiggling and wriggling and winking and blinking and nodding.)
Hanna: "So if I can figure out who all was in there around the time they found the body, we can check those people for being A. I know the records room, I did the filing."
Spencer: (We got Bill the Cat over here.)
Hanna: "So you go to the pub, I'll go to the dentist, and we don't tell Aria and Emily until we have something, because she will go ballistic if she finds out we're, you know, doing anything proactive whatsoever about the person who has tortured us for years."
Spencer: (Ellen Burstyn ready for her television debut.)
Hanna: "I know, honey. But she won't hate you forever. We can't piss her off more than we already have. And once we find A, she will totally go back to being sweet Emily."
Spencer: "Yeah okay yeah that sounds good yeah."
(Disclaimer: It would be disrespectful to both Spencer Hastings and the actress who plays her to suggest that she is not doing a fantastic job of tweaking in a way that is visible to us, but not any of the Liars. I am not making fun of the performance -- which is subtle and already scary as hell just one scene in -- but of people who do not, for one reason or another, find it useful to moderate their use of Study Aids. Of course Spencer Hastings is going to down the entire bottle -- because 1) Spencer Hastings is both another Matrix Chosen One like Mona, reaching toward her hyperreal potential like a flower turns it face toward then sun, and because 2) the sociopathic mind thrives on intricate patterns -- and of course she is going to act more and more wigged out until some unlikely person takes notice that she is being Spencer to the Infinite Power, at which point it will be too late. The more time it takes people to notice this, the funnier it is going to be, and that has to start now.)
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