Episode Report Card Erin: F | 1 USERS: C- YOU GRADE IT Did I mention the ass?
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.14.2004
Jack's all, uh, yeah, about that whole "mighta shot you" thing...I was under a lot of pressure...it was just circumstances forcing me...I don't really know that I would have gone through with it... "Oh, you would have," snaps Sloane. "I would have." Heh. Jack's still not stating that he would have done it. Sloane doesn't seem to care, telling him that doing everything you can to save your daughter's life is really noble, even when it involves blowing someone's brains out. Then he blah blahs something about how Jack is lucky and how Sloane has thought about his wife and how he misses her. He waxes messianic about his foundation work and finally concludes that nothing can erase the past or fill the void of being alone. Jack rather bizarrely suggests that Sloane talk to Dr. Nancy. "As someone who, at least today, has no intention of ending your life," says Jack, "I can arrange a meeting." Heh. Jack's funny. Not funny enough to erase this abysmal episode from my mind, but still funny.
Jack makes sure Sloane understands that it's of the utmost importance for Sloane to maintain his cover within the Covenant. Sloane agrees, but he doesn't think his "condition" can be helped by a psychiatrist. I'm not sure if he means "condition" as in "I miss my wife so much I want to die," or as in "I really can't be meeting with any new people because this Rambaldi shit I'm injecting into my veins makes me really susceptible to colds and germs." Oh. Wait. I'm getting ahead of myself. Sorry. More on the Hot Beef Rambaldi Injections later.
Fortunately, Syd doesn't have the same "condition" as Sloane, because she's chatting with Dr. Nancy right this second. In theory, Syd says, she should be able to move on with her life. You know, now that she knows all about the two years and everything. Too bad that all she sees in her future is Vaughn. And his lips. And his butt. And...man, Patricia Wettig's hair looks like crap. I'm so distracted by it that I practically miss Syd blabbering on about how she and Vaughn made out when they were in Korea. She blabbers some more about how the kiss is making things difficult, especially since they're supposed to go on another mission together. Yeah. Another. As in, you already went on one and didn't wind up licking each other's armpits or anything. I just...oh, whatever.
Dr. Nancy asks how Syd would feel if Vaughn left his wife for her. Syd doesn't think Vaughn would divorce his wife for her. But she does think he would divorce Lauren because they don't belong together. Right. Because that's not delusional or anything. Dr. Nancy asks if Syd thinks that Vaughn belongs with her. Syd just breathes heavily and asks, "Have you ever felt that someone's your soul mate?" Yes, Syd. Yes, I have. But Johnny Depp didn't share my enthusiasm, unfortunately, and it's really difficult to become one with your soul mate when you've been ordered to keep to a distance of at least three hundred feet at all times.