Episode Report Card Erin: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Long Kiss Goodnight
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.25.2003
Oh. Do you get it? Server forty-seven! Do you get it? DO YOU? Do you see? DO YOU?
Subbasement Of Dreams And Desires. Sadly, Syd walks in with Jack and not Vaughn. "There's only one reason Sloane would keep secret the existence of a computer," she says, sliding open a gate. "Because this computer server forty-seven is a vulnerability." Jack's all, uh, until you give me a clue as to what the fuck you're TALKING about, I can't respond in an appropriate manner. Namely, with disdain and mistrust. Syd says, "I think there's a central Alliance computer, I think that's what server forty-seven is. A network that links all the SD cells. It makes sense, doesn't it?" Yes, Syd. Yes, it does. ON MARS. Jack's all, I'm trying to find a flaw in this line of thought so that I can make you feel bad about yourself and make me feel bigger and more fatherly. Syd's all, I gotta find this computer. If I'm right about this, and I think I am, it could tell us EVERYTHING; names of the Alliance partners, locations of their offices -- Jack's all, honey? Bring it down a notch. You're starting to scare Daddy. "Dad," she says, all business, "this could be the silver bullet." Jack considers her for a second. "I'll get the CIA to sanction it," he says.
Oops Center. Vaughn and Syd make their way over to Agent Sean's desk as Vaughn says, "We tracked down server forty-seven. The reason you couldn't get a twenty on it is because it doesn't exist on this planet. It's in the sky. It's a 747 purchased by the Alliance in 1998. They retrofitted the interior to contain a secure server and a satellite uplink." Yeah. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about either. But he looks real purdy, don't he? Anyway, Syd's all, so the server's airborne? Vaughn's all, yeah. And this guy, Gils Nancor, oversees the operation. He hands Syd a sheaf of pictures. Yeah, you guessed it. It's Fat Guy. Turns out he's not just a shrimp-stuffing idiot -- he's also an accomplished computer security expert, and he and his bodyguards travel with the server at all times, only stopping to refuel.
Syd's all, okay, so, this guy spends his life on a plane with a computer? Agent Sean's all, yeah, but it's a REALLY nice plane. Complete with a whore's den and red paneling. Vaughn says, "How did they convince an upper-level asset to do that job, right? They provide him with women." "Oh, you're kidding me," says Syd, along with the REST OF HUMANITY. "Nope," pipes up Agent Sean. "Twice a week, alternate airports in England and Spain. A high-end escort agency provides a new...friend." Okay. Ew. And, like, EW. Syd agrees with me, because she's like, okay, so I have to be this dude's friend? Vaughn quickly tells her no, she doesn't have to make the beast with two backs with Fat Guy; she just has to get him alone. He goes on to explain that the computer's in the belly of the plane, but there's terminal access in the main cabin. Agent Sean informs them that the team will be in Barcelona in order to ambush the drop-off of Fat Guy's latest date. "But they'll deliver you in her place," says Virtuous Vaughn. "Just get onto the plane, get [Fat Guy] alone, access the server, and transmit the content to us. We'll be in a cargo jet flying at altitude." Oh, not too hard or anything, boyfriend. Why not just have the server on a fucking space station or something?
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