Episode Report Card Erin: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Long Kiss Goodnight
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.25.2003
Once he's out like a light, Syd jumps off him and runs over to a framed picture on the wall. She spins it and discovers a handy computer terminal complete with built-in wall keyboard. She click-clacks away on it, and some numbers race across the screen. She runs over to her super-spy silver suitcase, opens it, and whips out a PDA device and plugs it into the terminal. A few more click-clacks and she says out loud, "We're transmitting." Is she talking to herself now? Is it like when I walk from one room to the other in search of something, forget along the way, and then stand in the middle of living room going, "Okay. Regina. You know you came in here for a reason. What was it? What. Was. It. Oh! Cigarettes! Yeah! Got the cigarettes! Now I'm gonna get the...what was it?" No. It can't be that. She has to be talking to someone. Doesn't she?
So, Syd-licious changes into something far more appropriate, grabs the PDA and her gun, and sneaks out of the room, ready for action if Useless Henchman shows up. Sadly, AC/DC is no longer in residence; instead, we're treated to a little ditty from the James Bond back catalog as Syd and her artfully constructed last-minute chignon make their way into the main cabin of the plane. Useless Henchman's nowhere in site. He's not even hidden in the closet where Agent Jones has placed several potentially useful parachutes.
Syd makes her way through the cabin, thoughtlessly leaving her back exposed to the rest of the room, and opens a door at the end, exposing a mirror that some imaginary people to whom Syd might have been announcing the transmittal might have appreciated much more if it had been back in the bedroom where Syd was sporting the latest styles from Frederick's of Hollywood.
Syd spends one moment too long looking at herself in the mirror, and that gives Useless Henchman just enough time to appear out of nowhere and make himself useful with a gun to her head. He orders her to her knees (hee), and she complies. When she doesn't immediately give him a well-timed blowjob complete with captioning, he orders her to drop her gun. She inexplicably tosses it behind him, almost as if someone told her to do that so Useless would have to search for it. Because he's more useless than useful, the moron actually LOOKS BACK FOR THE GUN, which of course gives Syd an opportunity to kick his brawny ass.
There's kicking. And there's hitting. And some more kicking. And then there's a wine bucket to the face. Then Useless whips out a knife and starts slicing at Syd. Of course, since she's invincible, he doesn't even get a chance to leave his mark upon her. She pulls a table off its post and whams away at him, but his kung-fu skills are in evidence and he deftly knocks it aside. By the way, this scene was entirely constructed for the purpose of not scaring away the Stupor Boys, and not pissing off the Stupor Boys' girlfriends who watch this show on a regular basis and are determined to make their boyfriends watch it with them. Judging by the combination of lingerie and ass-kicking present so far, I'd say it's probably working.
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