Episode Report Card Erin: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Long Kiss Goodnight
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.25.2003
Back on The Plane Of Red Lacquered Cabinetry, Syd slams the door open to reveal the red ensemble. Wake UP, Stupor Boys! Virtuous Vaughn sees Fat Guy say "pas mal" and freaks the fuck out. "I swear I'm gonna kill this guy!" Like, what is he afraid of, that Syd's gonna do him before Vaughn gets a chance to do her? Hello? Try a little professionalism for a moment, Vaughn! I mean, this is not her first time, dude. And just because you have ants in your pants for Spy Barbie does not mean she shouldn't do her job. Turn the testosterone down a couple levels and keep your cool, Agent Amorous.
Then Syd's on the bed, and we get a monitor shot of Fat Guy comin' at her. "There's no way that guy smells as good as you," says Agent Sean encouragingly. "Aftershave," says Vaughn, not moving from the monitor. "I got a new aftershave." "Yeah, well, I'd lighten up on it," says Agent Sean, obviously having gained the power from his near-death experience to tell cologne-soused men that a spritz means a spritz and nothing more. "Yeah?" asks Vaughn, obviously under the impression that less is not more and that the better he smells, the more likely Syd is to jump into the sack with him. "Oh, yeah," says Agent Sean. "To the point of non-use." Heh. Heh heh.
Oh, and commonly, aftershave is used after YOU SHAVE, which Vaughn has clearly not done since 1984. I'm not joking. The man has more stubble than Sonny Crockett on a good day. Note to Vaughn: If you're going to pretend that your new stanky cologne is actually aftershave, you might want to remove the majority of your facial hair in order to back up your lame-ass story, boy-o.
Then we're back for a moment with Syd as she strangles Fat Guy. Agent Sean gives her a fist of power, but Agent Amorous is still grimacing. We get a monitor shot as Syd tries to get the server forty-seven location out of Fat Guy. When she elbows him, both Agent Sean and Agent Amorous look all pleased and happy that their non-girlfriend is free of the Jabba the Hutt.
Of course, now it should be completely clear that when Syd says, "We're transmitting," she's saying it to our boys on the cargo plane. There's some quick conversation about meeting at Heathrow in an hour, and Syd announces that she's going to take out the guard. We catch up with the beginning of the episode when Useless Henchman makes his appearance in the mirror with the gun. Vaughn and Agent Sean watch as he makes her kneel. "Throw the gun!" says Vaughn. "Make him reach for it!" Gee. I thought that was Syd, just being smart on her own. Huh. Color me stumped.
We go through the whole fight again in a condensed manner and wind up where we began, with Fat Guy pointing a gun at Syd. He shoots, but Syd wisely jumps behind a partition or something. He keeps shooting. Syd grabs her gun off the floor. Fat Guy keeps shooting. Syd looks up and sees the window in the exit door. She reaches over and grabs some partition or something (I have no idea what it is or why it's there, but it is, so let's call it a partition, okay?) and hangs on as she shoots a couple of times at the door window. Vaughn's all screaming at her, "Noooo! Noooo! Noooooooooo!" Too late, Vaughn. Your ass ain't here and hers is. The window's gone.
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