Episode Report Card Erin: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Long Kiss Goodnight
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.25.2003
Oops Center. Syd comes stalking in, her braid slamming against her back. Vaughn meets her halfway (and, really, doesn't he always?) and hands her a stack of papers, saying, "Analysis just got done with the hard drive." Syd takes the papers and looks them over and then looks at Vaughn in that way. No, not THAT way. That way. Like there's something important in the papers! God, get your minds out of the gutter. There's plenty of time for that later.
Subbasement Of Dreams And Desires. What the? Syd, Vaughn, Jack, and KENDALL are hanging out in the SDD. Why? WHY? They can't talk about this shit upstairs? I mean, they're all on the same side, right? Like, what's wrong with the Oops Center? Were they hurting for locations or something? I don't know. I really don't. Syd's all, Kendall? We can totally destroy the Alliance NOW! Kendall's all, yeah, okay, Spy Barbie, but, uh, I suggest you don't rush an operation like this. Syd's boyfriend steps up and says something about how, as soon as the Alliance realizes that there's a breach in their system, the information they've gleaned from server forty-seven ain't gonna be valid anymore. What, Vaughn? You mean, like, THE PLANE HOLDING THE SERVER GOING DOWN IN FLAMES? Like that? God. This episode is draining my brain fluid.
For the folks out there who didn't watch the episode with Shovelhead, Kendall goes on to explain in detail about the C-4 that's buried in the subbasement of SD-6. "And probably every other SD cell! If this intel is wrong and we move on it," he says, "we're talking about the deaths of hundreds of civilians!" Jack steps up and claims that the answer's in the document. "According to the information you retrieved, each SD cell uses a code which changes weekly to operate their security systems," he says. "The current code is listed right here."
Valiant Vaughn attempts to spell it out for the idiots out there when he says, "So you're saying we need to get into SD-6 and find out what the actual code is right now?" Syd's all, totally! If it matches the one in the document, then all the rest of that crap I gathered from the plane is right on! Way to go, honey! They mentally slap hands and bellies as Kendall informs them that, if they get the code, he can go to Langley about raiding the Alliance facilities. "Do we have the current SD-6 code?" asks Vaughn, picturing in his mind the things he'll do to Syd's bod when the bombs drop on the Alliance. "No," says Jack, exhibiting his full "I am the MAN" facial expression. "But I can get it." He looks pointedly at his daughter. Heh. I just love it when Jack's all, I will HANDLE this shit, okay? BACK OFF! And then tempers it all by looking at his daughter in a really heartfelt way. God, I love Victor Garber. And not in THAT way.
Plot Device Diner. Syd, Foolio, and Will are hangin' at a table. Chairs are upended on tables around the room, so we're supposed to think that they're hanging out at the PDD after closing. Syd's sitting by herself on one side of the table, sipping a glass of red wine, while Foolio and Will blatantly advertise their recent liaison by sitting on the other side and whispering at each other as if Syd's not there. Syd watches as Will's all, was that a new sauce? Oh, and that guy at table forty-five was totally checking you out. What, not table forty-seven? Because, like, that would TOTALLY tie in with everything else in this episode. Foolio's all, he was not! Shut up! Will's all, no you shut up! Foolio's all, no you! Syd's finally can't stand it anymore and asks what in the hell is going on. Will and Foolio both look up in surprise. What? What do you mean? What? What're you talking about? I was NOT licking his neck! Shut UP! Syd's all, dudes? You're acting like you're on drugs. The really good Whitney Houston kind, okay? Foolio's all, okay, well, um, we made out. Syd's all, oh. My. God. Will's all, yeah, this is my cue to leave the table and go organize the salt shakers. Syd and Foolio just giggle at each other.
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