Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 76 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Zach & Gracie Make A Porno
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.10.2013
Clarke: "In addition to being a huge douchebag, yes."DUMB THINGS 1 & 2
#1. Kalinda walks up to the half-brother, who is gross, and who is grossly chewing some gum, in this case about DNA. Right before she mentions the date of the murder (and after we've had it confirmed that he's a Ketamine dealer on the side) he spits his gum on the floor. A short time later, Kalinda picks herself up off that self-same floor, etc. Exactly what you think happens, happens, in the same way that the most famous person you see in the first ten minutes of any episode of Law & Order is going to be the suspect, and then not be the suspect, and then turn out to be the murderer. That's not our show. It's a fine way to make a show, it clearly works considering the top hundred shows in prime time are exactly that show, but it's not our show. And Kalinda getting poleaxed by gender and knocked on her ass and then scraping gum off the floor, that's not our goddamn Kalinda. Therefore, this didn't happen. Keep moving.
#2. Zach goes Googling (ChumHumming) for naked pictures of his sister, and he finds them on like the fifth page of results, and looks at every single one of them for about an hour, and then he stomps into her room -- again, without a knock -- and rips the damned Ethernet cable out of the wall, because how dare anybody look at his naked sister.
So tired of this. So ready for it to be something less fucked up and more like a relatable story. Or for them to act like they actually act, which is that Grace would throw a motherfucking fit right in the camera and probably flash her boobs while calling the guy a dick, then drop to her knees in prayer. Instead, creepy brothers doing creepy brother things, because this episode is a creep, and hopefully we're getting nearer a place of Grace telling her teenage brother he's not her fucking father and they are not in a fundamentalist cult and therefore he needs to be supportive, instead of controlling. But not this week, no. Nobody wins here.
LEE DEPO
Martha says the outfits Clarke Hayden is wearing (based on a picture I sent her of a gorilla wearing a black suit and red power tie, which I selected and sent to her purposely as an act of whimsy) denote someone whose idea of importance is a man in a Republican Presidential debate. It is a look that attempts and fails to say, and I quote, "I am a man who takes things seriously, but is also brave enough to wear red, which tells you that I can get more than just your taxes done, unless that is all that you want me to do, in which case, okay, but I will also lower them."
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