Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 76 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Zach & Gracie Make A Porno
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.10.2013
Alicia: "We knew it would be hard. I for one was maybe not prepared for the bullshit of having this entire law firm living in my house. But you know what? Stern-Lockhart started in an airport hotel room. So hold it together. What we're going through now will make our firm stronger."
First of all, compare with Will's similar rallying cry immediately above. Secondly, who's at the door? That funny, neat process server we've already met twice before!
Cary: "Ugh. Are we getting sued again? Can we not just destroy those guys already?"
Alicia: "Actually, it's much cooler than that. I'm a witness in a case against them."
Cary: "Can you be as little Alicia in these dealings as possible at least?"
Alicia: "I will absolutely try, although to be honest my first impulse is to bring those fuckfaces a batch of cookies when I go."
THE STATION
Will: "Jeffrey? You're the only white person who has ever been arrested, so I assume that's you."
Jeffrey: "I have an Italian midterm! Why won't they give me this fake breathalyzer?"
Will: "It probably has something to do with sneaky old Geneva Pine over there. Hey, before I let her unload her new found awesomeness all over me, you got priors?"
Jeffrey: "I got a DUI but I'm never doing that again."
Will: "Okay, anything else?"
Jeffrey: "That lady over there is not a cop? But she was in the patrol car. And last time they didn't swab my cheek..."
Will: "Geneva Pine, why are you DNA testing this little boy?"
Geneva: "Because of the law!"
Will: "How are you supposed to test him for alcohol when he's been sitting over there for an hour metabolizing whatever alcohol?"
Geneva: "You have a lot of questions, my friend."
Will: "Okay, I don't know what kind of goat rodeo you're running, but I'm taking that kid home. And you better dump that DNA swab, too."
Geneva: "Actually, we're putting him under arrest now that you mention it. And because of his priors, I'm keeping the swab."
Will: "This is clearly something weird."
Not only weird, but reminiscent of lots of Alicia cases, which means part of the fun is going to be putting Will in an Alicia situation, which I would guess means that whatever this DNA is for -- and yes, this episode is such a collection of clichés you've already guessed it's either for rape or murder, so I'll just tell you it's the latter -- is going to end up with the kid being guilty and never admitting it, so then Will has to wonder about life and people and if we ever really know anybody and also whether his new found blood lust to conquer the world is really worth it.
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