Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 76 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Zach & Gracie Make A Porno
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.10.2013
Alicia: "Gross me out! And this is that spice thing, I know it."
David Lee: "No idea what you're talking about. Honestly."
Alicia: "I will file a complaint with the ACDB, I will sue you for conspiracy..."
David Lee: "I like it when you sound nuts."
Alicia: "Stop ratting our computers! It's illegal!"
David Lee: "Yeah, like that. Anyway, good luck coming up with six million bucks. Bye!"
JAIL
Jeffrey: "I didn't lie!"
Will: "Well, you fucked yourself either way. So have fun with that."
Jeffrey: "But my DNA!"
Will: "Yeah, it's a pisser. Don't talk to anybody in County, they're snitches there."
Jeffrey: "I don't deserve this! Look at me! Welcome to my gun show!"
Will: "Yeah. Don't kill girls, I think, is the moral of this story. You sit tight."
Actually he's a lot more weepy and supportive and brokenhearted about it, which I get being the tough part of defense law and I normally like it, but in this case I don't get the point at all:
"Oh, that poor little boy for killing that woman and being punished appropriately. Oh, how sad when a rich white kid can't play the system. Oh, I am going to go cry myself to sleep over justice being served."
Should have just left it with the Geneva scene and not come back for more, because when you add this bathos to the equally bizarre, creepy misogyny vibe with the kids, it really comes back looking pretty ugly, altogether. I still don't hate this one quite as much as the DOMA one, but it's the only other episode, off the top of my head, that I would put in that category.
SWEET F/A
Carey: "First of all, welcome home. We missed you. Second of all, we hate Anthony."
Alicia: "How much would you guys say he can hurt us?"
Cary: "Every way. In all the ways."
Cary steers her gently into the kitchen with a hand to her back, and it's such a tender gesture that on first viewing it literally erased that last dumb scene from my memory.
Cary: "Upside, I have something magical for you."
Alicia: "Is this where you ask if we can keep him as a pet?"
Cary: "You know me so well! But watch him do the pitch. I dare you to watch this and keep a straight face. It is so fucking cute."
Clarke: "Ahem. Even without offices, you're dying from overhead. Malpractice insurance, salary, marketing. Even my fee, overhead abounds. You need to be billing hours, loads of them. And you're down a partner now, thanks to Bonus Dick. So..."
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