Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 76 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Zach & Gracie Make A Porno
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.10.2013
Diane: "Anyway, if that's all, let's get her the hell out of here before she takes the bait."
Schmidt: "Nope, actually. Mrs. Florrick, describe this random document to me?"
Alicia: "It's an L/G check for ten grand, made out to the Chippewa Nation, which I honestly have never seen before."
Schmidt: "Would it surprise you to learn this was a bribe intended to buy off the tribe?"
Alicia: "I mean, this is a Family Law case, which means David Lee, which means..."
David Lee: "Why does everybody accuse me of doing the shit that I secretly do? It's defamatory! Stop accusing me of my acts!"
Schmidt: "...How about this affidavit from Chief Joshua Proudfoot -- one word, just like gesundschrumpfen -- that asserts the check worked against you?"
Alicia: "I mean, that is a shocking thing to hear. Yes, technically I am surprised about this. Insofar as it's surprising that anybody is this gross."
Schmidt: "And yet you say you were performing the day-to-day..."
Diane: "Schmidt, shut it down."
Schmidt: "You're not going to turn on these bastards?"
(Endless pause.)
Alicia: "...No, I'm good."
Diane's relieved and David Lee only has one mood, surly, but listen to it: Good as in satisfied, yeah. But also good as in person, good as in Wife. She's had ratfuck teachers and solid ones, almost always in the same person, and maybe she's grown up and maybe she's a little tarnished or a little disappointed or maybe she's just gotten to know herself better, maybe the world is a mirror that tells us the stories we don't know about ourselves: She's good.
POLYTECH
DeLaney: "[Shitty mean things to his publicist.]"
Will: "Professor DeLaney? I need to talk to you about that girl you didn't kill."
DeLaney: "No thanks!"
He bounces, still just a horrible person, and Owen runs up out of nowhere. He's always been Team Will, but he's also reached a lovely understanding with Peter, which means we can trust him. Even if he's a little bit awful, just naturally. I can imagine a lot of pressures in life, I relate passably well to others, but I literally cannot imagine being the gay son of Veronica Cavanaugh. That sounds like a horror story.
Will: "Owen?"
Owen: "Dr. Cavanaugh, around these parts. I teach Math Sciences? I just got Professor of the Month, which means unlimited free fro-yo from U-Go Gurt, which even though it's not a big deal is absurdly fun to say. How is my Alicia? I haven't talked to her in at least a week. Has anything interesting happened in that time frame?"
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