Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 76 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Zach & Gracie Make A Porno
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.10.2013
Alicia: "Because it happened five seconds ago and I'm now entrusted with the care and feeding of about a hundred frat boys, including one of their pets, an adorable hobgoblin?"Owen: "So what actually happened? I know you never talk, so it would really help. On behalf of like, the entire viewing audience, if you were to actually say it."
Alicia: "Will pushed me out, short version."
Owen: "Long version being that you were stealing clients?"
Alicia: "Motherfucker said that? I have a very strong personal belief that something other than that was happening."
Owen: "No, he was perfectly level about it. I'm just looking at your body language, you're in Warrior Princess mode and I..."
Alicia: "You're like the creepiest concept of a gay dude from 1995 as imagined by a person who is still in 1995 and also never met a gay dude."
Owen: "We say the lines as printed, sweetheart."
Alicia: "It is true that I am kicking ass."
Owen: "No doubt! But also I know why you really left L/G. It was the end of last season."
Alicia: "Oh, this should be good."
Owen: "You wanted to keep Will at arm's length so you wouldn't leave your marriage."
Alicia: "Do you want some food or to talk to cute lawyers or hey the kids are here, you can bother them with your psychic powers."
Owen: "It's like, the nuclear option."
Alicia: "I hate this with every molecule of my body."
Owen: "Am I wrong?"
Alicia: "If I squeeze my eyes very tight, will one or the other of us possibly be teleported very far away? You're the scientist, you tell me. Is that a thing that could ever happen?"
Grace: "Why's Mom doing that? Is she praying? Well done, Mother."
Alicia: "God no. Just entertaining your plot device of an uncle."
Grace: "Can you point me in the direction of Zach? It is for no particular reason."
Zach: "I'm here, what do you want? Do you want me to beat up some boys for looking at you? Do I need to spank you for being naughty?"
Grace: "Possibly both. Come with me."
They inch adorably around the corner toward her room, and she motions a few times with her head toward her computer, whose spy cam is activated! David Lee be creepin' on a kid! Very quietly, they whisper about how this started up about five minutes ago. It's satisfying, if you don't know the endgame, because they are being just precious at the moment.
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