Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "Your Phoebe's So Ugly..."
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.30.2005
Imara's Underworld Boudoir Of Very Bad Wigs And Even Worse Body Issues. Imoebe vows her sisters will save her, and Suzanne Krull really is doing a good job here with the Phoebe-esque vocal inflections and such. Pity, then, that little about this scene matters in the grand scheme of things, because it amounts to nothing more than Lantos making with the threats and promises of Underworld domination we know are empty, because we know both he and Imara will be vanquished by the end of the evening, and yawn. The only thing I suppose we should keep in mind is the fact that, at this point in the game, Lantos believes Imara's ultimate goal is to destroy Phoebe's body, leaving Phoebe's soul with nowhere to go but up -- as in, towards the Afterlife. Don't think too hard about why a foul-looking demon so covetous of physical beauty would destroy a supposedly perfect physical form once she's wrested control of it from its rightful owner. I'm sure the typewriting crack monkeys didn't, after all. Though feel free to crack wise about how even one so repulsive as Imara will reject Phoebe's bony ass after taking it out for a test ride. God knows I did. Crack wise, I mean. Don't even go there with me taking her bony ass for a ride. Ew.
Oh, this is just stupid. Over in Raige's pointless subplot, a blonde has managed to wrap her car around an electrical pole just across the street from Mitch's auto repair shop, and the transformer-topped thing now threatens to topple over and mash the blonde to bits. Mitch, after carefully eyeing the surrounding area to ensure no one will see what he's about to do -- like, you might want to make a note of that, Raige -- super-speeds over to the blonde's car and yanks her through the driver's side door to super-speed with her back into his body shop, just as the electrical pole falls to flatten the car. Of note: Mitch's super-speed, unlike the last demonstration of the power we saw on this show, appears to be more of a swift-moving, earthbound orb cloud than anything else, which I suppose would explain how he could lug the blonde around at that velocity without having her burst into flames due to friction and such. Also? The blonde is actually a glamoured Raige, there to prove that Mitch could be a valuable part of magical society, or some such bullshit. This subplot can blow me. Mitchell blows her off again, some more, and stomps out of his shop. "Can someone tell me why I'm trying to help this person?" Raige puckers. Oooh! Oooh! Over here, Raige! I can answer that question for you! Come closer. Closer. No, closer. Okay, close enough! You wanna know why you're trying to help him? BECAUSE IT'S YOUR FUCKING JOB, ASSHOLE.