Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "Your Phoebe's So Ugly..."
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.30.2005
Considered to be little more than a hag by most upper-level demons, Imara dreams of power and beauty denied to her in the Underworld. She is a master of spells and incantations, however, and her ambitions make her dangerous and unpredictable.
Gosh, but Phoebe and Imara have a lot in common, don't you think? The camera pushes in on the hideous watercolor before the screen flares white, dumping us...
...down in Imara's Underworld Boudoir Of Very Bad Wigs And Even Worse Body Issues, where Imoebe quickly convinces the gullible underling to release her from the cage. The second the fool opens the gate, Imoebe grabs onto the upper bars of the opening and plants both heels in the idiot's chest, sending him sprawling to the floor. As she smirks in triumph over the temporarily stunned demon, the shriek of Raige's arriving orb cloud assaults her ears. "Took you long enough," Imoebe giggles as she spins to greet her sisters. The giggle quickly dies when she spots Phoemara at the far end of the chamber with Piper and Raige. "Actually," Phoemara ices, "I think we're right on time." With that, she flips a vial into Imoebe's considerably saggier Fun Bags as Imoebe impotently cries out, "No!" Imoebe's physical form is quickly engulfed in flame but, oddly enough from Raige and Piper's perspective, the immolated demon releases a glowy white spirit that shoots up through the ceiling. "What was that?" Raige gapes. "That was Phoebe's soul," Phoemara enthuses, stepping over to place her hands on the underling's shoulders. "We just killed your sister!" Um. Hooray? I must admit, I'm not feeling any joy, here. Mainly because the wretched Feebs is still befouling my television screen. Bitch. In any event, Raige and Piper goggle as Phoemara squiggles with her minion into the final commercial break.
Manor. Aftermath. The only one who seems to care about Dead Phoebe is Piper, but even she drops it after the Dolt assures her that they can still reverse Imara's original body swap. Oooo-kay. Whatever you say, there, Dolt. Piper next frets that the spell requires a lock of Phoemara's hair. How ever will they manage that? Raige has a plan. Because she's so smart.
Courthouse Where Cole Used To Work When He Was Still Pretending To Be An ADA, Like, Five Years Ago, And Even Though I Don't Feel Like Looking Up Its Previous Nickname, So Devoted Am I To You, Dear Reader, That I Shall Now Travel Back In Time (Or At The Very Least, Back Through The TWoP Database) So I Might Remind You We Called It "Courthouse" Back In The Day. Well, that was a waste of time. (Or not, maybe, as I discovered in the process that the first recorded use of the word "shimmer" to describe the squiggling method of demonic transport appeared in "Sleuthing With The Enemy." The more you know! Yeah, yeah: The more you want to kill yourself.) Long story short, Phoemara and The Underling confront Benzoyl, who's masquerading as "Judge Thomas Hendricks" (and, by the by, Gavin Newsome might want to start vetting his elected and appointed officials a little more carefully, because this is about the eighty-fourth dark demonic public servant we've seen in the last seven years. Believe it or not, not one of them has been Tom DeLay. Yet), and then Phoemara vanquishes him, but not before Benzoate lobs a shot of something sinister that takes out the minion. And before you know it, Mitch super-speeds into the room, super-deftly snips off a lock of Phoemara's hair, super-slowly pauses to make with the quippy remarks, and super-quickly skedaddles. Phoemara phreaks.