Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT One Flea Spare
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 03.29.2005
Nadia went through…a lot of hair changes in the nineties. I think it's a metaphor or something? First she was a Dolphins cheerleader with bone-straight hair, and looked totally boring, then she cut it all off and turned into Skin from Skunk Anansie, and now has the most amazingly responsive and agreeable hair in the biz.
Sometime after the nineties, ld1 came up with Nadia "I've Never Heard This Song Before!" Turner, and katiedid went straight for the gold with a simple and succinct "Nadia Turner Overdrive." Other runners-up included SnippyScholar and Gimme Cat, with "God's Got Her Back, But We're Not Sure About the Hair," the very productive Purplish for "Nadia 'We Never Do Anything Nice & Easy' Turner," and Yes I am a for "What's Range Got to Do, Got To Do With It?" Brilliant submissions from all quarters on this one, as well. The best suggestions all came for the people you'd think: Nadia, Constantine, Carrie, Mikalah. Janay got like three. I mean, they were all very good, and I'm saving them for later, but it's not surprising or anything that everyone on the boards didn't immediately get creative about it.
Nadia's singing "I'm The Only One," by Melissa Etheridge, tonight. And of course she sounds great, if a little distracted. At least she's making a minimum of those faces she makes, and every time she makes one she immediately stops and smiles all pretty to make up for it. Her voice sounds really great, of course, and the stage business is awesome, and you know, she's just great. I love watching her. This song is perfect for her voice, not least because Melissa has no range either and writes her own songs. I think I'm immune to arrogance of the Nadia type. I need you to show, not tell, me how awesome you think you are. I'm telling you this lest you to think that I'm so unobservant as to be indifferent to the cloud of respeito that hangs around Nadia like her nimbus of lovely hair. Guys, I see it, and honestly? I don't care. She backs it up, in my opinion, given that this show is becoming more of a joke with every week that goes by, and by all rights she is better than what's going on around her. But most importantly, she never, ever says it out loud. That's why I let Nadia go with a warning each week but can barely even watch The Amazing Race this season. Can you imagine if Constantine or Nadia told the judges shit like "Sometimes I even surprise myself?" Pandemonium.
Randy calls her "not the greatest singer" but a really great performer, and says she made something of the song. He liked it. Paula Paulas that it's "miles better" than last week and celebrates that Nadia's back. Simon calls it a "thousand percent improvement over the horror we saw last week." However, he's nervous about the song -- although the performance was great -- because he thinks that the song may leave the crowd cold, because it is not a great melodic song. I don't remember this, but some people have mentioned that Kimberly Caldwell, who gives off at least as much of a lesbian vibe as Nadia herself does, got the Simon treatment for singing this song because of the lesbian thing of Melissa Etheridge. I wonder if he's saying the same thing but toned down? Anyhow, Ryan congratulates her on bouncing back from the bottom three -- for a sec -- and then she waves crazily to her buddies in the audience as we get video of the next person.