Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT One Flea Spare
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 03.29.2005
Scott is a fucker and I hate him.
I'll tell you about the singing, because it's my job, but first I feel it's my duty to direct you to The Smoking Gun, this week's second scandale, because as much as I hate knee-jerk reactions, I hate jerk reactions even more, and I don't want to get into a whole thing, but fuck you, Scott Savol. Real men don't go to the violence place, ever. And fuck you for taking every joke I've ever cracked at your expense, about how you're creepy and violent and a lurker and a freak and a bad, rotten person, and making them all true, because that brings down the quality of my recaps and I can't have that. 8 Mile is just a movie, you dick. You're nobody's hard-luck story. And FYI, I just got a call from upstairs and I'm supposed to tell you that God is not only in the tub, but as far as you're concerned, will be taking the waters at Biarritz until your ass is back on the couch in Cleveland taking advantage of a little bit of the old talking cure.
After high school, besides being warned verbally and in writing to stay off campus before eventually being arrested for that too, Scott had a few "odd jobs" at like barbecue spots and pizza shops, but was always dreaming of being in the music industry, so eventually he had to put those things aside -- those money-earning things called "jobs" -- and pursue his singing career. He sings Brian McKnight's "One Last Cry" (McKnight's another favorite of mine; sometimes whole evenings are devoted to turning off the lights, sparking some candles and listening to the remix of "Anytime" with a glass of wine and some zazen feeling of emotions) and I wish, oh how I wish it were your last cry, because that would be fun to watch come Wednesday. The song's moderately boring, and really tests his upper range, so there's a lot of straining in parts where you're like, fuck it, just go to falsetto, but when he actually does, it's mighty nice. I kind of like this performance, on the whole, but just barely. He sounds whiny and shouty for a lot of it, and the last bit is a little flat, but whatever. If the best Scott song ever was a solid 100, this is like a 75. Great thread title suggestions -- because one must soldier on and get it out of the way -- included:
dolcepienza: "Scott Savol: I Don't Like Wednesdays"
ld1: "Scott Savol: Vote or Die"
AgentX: "Take A Look at Him Now, If You Must: Scott Savol"