Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT One Flea Spare
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 03.29.2005
ravenous: "Scott Savol: Sing Torture Kill"Purplish: "Scott Savol: The Una-Crooner," and
lexiselaine: "Scott Savol: You Know You Want To Leave Him, But He Refuses To Let You Go"
Randy calls it a tough song to sing, given the Brian McKnight of it all, but says it was all right: pitchy in spots, but it ended well. All true. Paula didn't "hear pitchy" at all, because she heard hardly anything, because she's viking so hard right now, the dolls won't even let her open her eyes. "I was swaying back and forth. I was 'vibing' it. You've got my heart." Randy asks if Scott "got Simon's heart" as well, and Simon smoothly replies, "Not in the slightest," and then calls it a karaoke performance for which he'd have unplugged the microphone. Again, overblown and not necessary, but at least Scott's only displeased at this, and not as shitty as he has been in response. Then Ryan ushers us to commercial, saying, "We'll be back before you can figure out what happened to Right Said Fred," and I'm riding a rage wave so hardcore right now that even that manages to piss me off, because…okay, I'll admit it. Up is one of my most favorite albums of the entire decade, because it presages a lot of what ended up happening in dance pop, and totally got run into the ground because of that one awful song, when really it should have had like four singles at least. Aaaand the fact that I just got righteously indignant in response to a dig at Right Said Fred? Means it's break time. Scott Savol poisons even my complicated but basically affectionate relationship with Ryan Seacrest.
Vonzell "She Came In Through the Mailroom Window" Solomon (tm badge9) started her martial arts training at five years of age, and in the mid-nineties got her first place trophy (six feet tall!), and her dad (also her instructor) was totally proud. Vonzell is the best kind of daddy's girl. I love it when she brings it up. She sings "I Have Nothing" and looks lovely, smiling and dimpling the whole time. Which is not really in line with the sentiment of the song, but whatever. She's great. I don't know if she has the best posture in the world, really, but I do hope people start finding her memorable, because she's fantastic. I sincerely doubt that the AI people will let her win, because of their obvious marketing plan for the show, but we'll see. This is her most polished performance yet. It's lovely. I'm generally of the opinion that you shouldn't sing Whitney, ever, not even and maybe especially if you're Whitney herself, but this is nice. Other great thread suggestions here included ChunkeeMunkee and TrueBlue's "Destiny's Step-Child" and SnippyScholar's "Vonzell Solomon: Gruntled, With Dimples."