Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT One Flea Spare
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 03.29.2005
BarbC: Anthony "I Can't Believe I Survived Another Week After That" Fedorovspoonofchoice: "Anthony Fedorov: Foreigner"
Miss Aquarius: "Hey, Who Put Diet Clay In My Capri Sun?"
Argillus for "If You Look Closely Enough, It Winks"
ChunkeeMunkee: "Anthony Fedorov: It's a Cut-Throat Competition"
spoonofchoice: "Anthony Fedorov: The People Seem To Like This"
Emperor Penguin: "Trach My Breath Away," and
dolcepienza: "All he Needs is the Air That he Breathes."
Hee! Randy says, "Innocent Anthony's kind of grown up now," and I agree with that, in terms of the spirit behind it rather than the nasty way it comes out (which is in all honestly probably my problem and not Randy's). Randy then calls the performance a'ight five times in row while barely changing his tone or inflection. And I've gotta say, I agree with that too. Experientially, that's maybe the perfect way to describe it: all right. All right. All right. All right. All right. That's how it was! Paula basically says the same thing, only slurring it; she thinks he did a "great job," and gives him a drunken "Good for you!" Which is like the first thing you always want to say to Anthony: "Good job, buddy!"
Simon wants to be nice, because he likes Anthony -- Five Point Palm Exploding-Heart Technique! -- but feels that in parts, it was "absolutely excruciating." Paula wonders which parts, considering Anthony's one of the few people who sounds exactly the same the whole time, every time, and Simon goes to the hyperbolic limit where she normally makes her home: "Beginning, middle and end." Everybody goes wild because that's just kind of dumb, and Paula calls him "insane," which coming from her literally means less than nothing. Simon goes on some kind of "We saw 100,000 people for this competition!" and they fight about how he deserves to be there, which, like, I kind of agree that he seems kind of out of his little league based solely on that performance
Carrie "Ruxpin" Underwood (tm baby pickles) had her first date at 16 (blink blink smile) and down in the parlor (cock head to the side and blink) Daddy was cleaning his shotguns (roll eyes, blink, and wrinkle nose) and her mom yelled at him (blink smile blink) and then the guy never asked her out again. I'd call bullshit on this incredibly cornpone story, but the sad thing is that I totally, utterly believe it. And that's the saddest thing about the show, tonight. One thing you learn with age is to never doubt people's ability to fulfill the stereotype that they are. "Clichéd until proven interesting" is my rule of thumb, especially with someone so clearly devoid of that thing, that spark that comes with a rich inner life. She actually is a Christopher Guest character, and she's happy that way.