Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Right Now I'm A Race Car
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 04.08.1999
John and D'Argo sneak through the Tavloid camp, quietly and for one hundred billion boring years. At the cells, John steps on Jotheb's tentacle and he shouts, and John gibbers and flibbers and mibbers because he apparently has never...seen an alien before? I don't get this part. He's like, "D'Argo! Check out the alien! There are aliens!" Jotheb and D'Argo are like, "Your point please?" John adorably waves goodbye to Jotheb, then finds the scepter on the ground -- sans neural crystal from a thousand pages ago. He also notices about how there's no Rygel, and they take off, but not before Jotheb tells them that "Dominar Rygel" was taken away. I don't get Jotheb's motivation at all. He's like, "I am a hard-ass and I will sell you out and cut off your airflow! But first, a lovely chocolate soufflé I made just for you!" Jotheb explains how the soufflé he cooked for Rygel was to make Bekhesh think he's not worthless, and how they took Rygel away, and none of this benefited him in any way. John offers to get Jotheb out of there, but Jotheb's happy waiting for his ransom -- and sad that the Consortium won't be paying Rygel's. "His presence has been decided to be too disruptive," Jotheb almost laughs. Are we supposed to love him, or think he's an idiot, or be scared of him? He is many things. Outside, John and D'Argo are stopped by some guards. John attempts to strike up a conversation about the ransom and the Tavloids (including, I think, Hontovek from before) are so not feeling up to a conversation, because they are high on drugs.
"...Because they are high on drugs" is the ending of 7% of all sentences referencing this show. Science told me! Aeryn fires from the forest a few feet behind them, and there are fisticuffs, in which even John gets to take part. Shooting, shooting, fighting, Qualta-ing, gauntleting, jumping. Spray-painted flora. Up the hill, Aeryn explains to John that she has just demonstrated a damn diversion, and congratulates D'Argo on his Qualta. He requests that she bury him with it, and then collapses. There's a giant wound in his back, and black nasty blood all over!
John somehow manages to carry D'Argo back further into the forest, Aeryn covering. John says some Pat The Bunny stuff meant to comfort, but D'Argo just wants to know what color his blood is. John says it's almost totally black, and Aeryn responds by...kneeling and punching D'Argo fiercely, directly on the wound. John grabs her and asks what the fuck, and she explains Luxans: "The wound isn't cleansed until the blood flows clear." D'Argo yells to get her punch on, and as John looks on, afraid and confused, I take the opportunity to ask: is there a better metaphor for the entire way this show works? You're not safe until the blood runs clear -- until you've bled the toxins out, and healed. And you have to keep bashing it, if you ever want to get your shit together and working properly. Welcome to Farscape. You now know everything you need to know.
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