Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Right Now I'm A Race Car
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 04.08.1999
"I demand to speak to the [fucker] in charge! I will not be treated like this! How dare you bury me in mud! Are you listening? You're nothing but barbarians! Don't you know this is an act of war? When my council hears of this, the Hynerian Navy will scorch this hell-hole!" Buried in mud, yeah? His next-door neighbor growls, frighteningly. That's Jotheb, a four-throated insectile beast that takes up almost his whole cell, and I think it's probably best that (puppetry cheat again) we never get a good look at him beyond his sinister glowing red eyes and his very scary voice. Rygel congratulates himself on his rhetoric, and Jotheb murmurs that his "sleep cycle has been disturbed." Rygel assures Jotheb that he doesn't give a fuck, and then they introduce themselves to each other politely. Jotheb (next in succession over the Consortium of Trow) has never heard of the Hynerian Empire, and vice versa. So they're both kings of nothing, in jail. "The imperfection is yours," says Jotheb, on learning that Rygel's never heard of it, and brags that it's "ten thousand" in size. Rygel goes, "Shyeah! I have six hundred billion subjects!" and Jotheb clarifies that he meant ten thousand planets, or roughly four billion Trow. These are the two most boring people in the universe. This is like what if you had to sit with Trump and Vijay Singh, and on top of that pay attention. Rygel doesn't believe him, and Jotheb assures him again that the imperfection is his. They might actually be comparing dick size at this point, but they're aliens so we can't tell; either way I'm positive the imperfection is Rygel's, because that's how you end up like that.
Segue! "This malfunction is Rygel's fault?" Pilot says that Rygel borrowed "a vital component" of Moya's circuitry, "just for a while." Aeryn's like, "And you were...high?" but Pilot insists that he "flatly forbade it." Aeryn goes almost entirely nuts as Pilot explains that Moya's synaptic processors really are pretty, and John figures out that it's the thing on the end of Rygel's scepter that was all up in his face before. Aeryn offers to kill him, and John asks how long Moya can maintain orbit with part of her brain missing -- it's actually already deteriorating. I guess that explains the fake systems malfunction that wasn't so fake. "I'll torture him, then I'll kill him," Aeryn revises. She comms to Zhaan to check on D'Argo, but he's still out.
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