Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Right Now I'm A Race Car
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 04.08.1999
Kyr eats in the dining hall. We're visiting so many of the locations from the Premiere! And in the same order! Docking bay, command, holding cell, dining hall -- and aversive and rebellious and cuffed the whole time, at the hands of a self-professed anarchist! It's almost like there's a conscious parallel! Kyr calls bullshit on the chronically awful Moya food, and Zhaan is irritating and hilarious some more: "You're welcome! Thank you for being such a gracious guest!" He laughs, and asks what her whole deal is. What she is. Which somehow manages to be a plot point for like a million episodes, like her being a vegetable person is this huge spoiler. It's not. The fact that she's fucking Bunnicula, that's a spoiler. "Older. Wiser. Certainly not as hungry as you." She drops a plate for him, and Kyr asks him about the Delvian trick where she buffered his DTs. "When I kissed you?" He's like, "No? Yes? Um, shut up!" She explains how she's a Delvian Pa'u and calls herself "priest of the Ninth level."
Kyr draws a funny mirror about how a Pa'u learns to share pain, while Tavloids learn to inflict it. (What were we saying about how there's no funny so very funny that it won't eventually stab you in the lung with horrible emotion? Fuckin' Zhaan. Ouch.) She says he's impressive in action, and he gets proud, even though it's not actually a compliment, and he proclaims about how he was awesome when they boarded the ship and stole the "king." (Um, that's amazing! You totally said, "Knock knock!" and they were like, "Hey, come on in!" And so you did, and then you stole a two-foot puppet. Will you be my boyfriend?) Zhaan says that's who Kyr is when he wears the gauntlet, but nobody knows who Kyr actually is. Which is a good point, and she's not being so horrible, but Kyr hates that she's even bringing up his junk at all. Which is also kind of valid. "Have you ever been through anything like this before?" she asks. "Your body being freed of poison..." Kyr takes offense at this characterization and says that the Moya food is the only poison he's taking in, and she just smiles calmly. "Why would I want to be free? Our gauntlet is our food, our blood, our life! It makes us capable of anything!" He sighs loudly, like she's so thick, and she just asks again what he, "alone," is capable of. A real Ninth level doesn't end a sentence with a preposition, Zhaan. They stare, but neither of them knows the answer. Neither does Rygel, for that matter. Or Aeryn. The imperfection is yours.
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