Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Right Now I'm A Race Car
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 04.08.1999
Meanwhile, Rygel is looking at what remains of the gruel, which I think is probably not "gruel" as much as it is total feces and Bekhesh was being poetic. "I can't eat this. I... couldn't eat this. I mustn't eat this." He then hums reflectively, and you think for a sec that he's just that gross, but he declares that maybe it has another use. Um, making your storyline as fucking sick as every week? Done. Jotheb's all, "In what way, friend Rygel?" and Rygel sandcastles his hands around in it: "Loosening up this soil." Gross me out, but points for thinking.
Aeryn and John jog through the "jungle" and then get in a 'loid fight about where to go that is usually the D'Argo fight about where to go. John offers that perhaps it's time to take the gauntlet off, and Aeryn says that it's not time to take it off, because the time to take it off is when Bekhesh is dead. At which point, one assumes, there will be a new designated time to take it off. And so on. John tells a very junkie-lookin' Aeryn that really it should come off, and she tells him that in fact she is going to go medieval on the collective asses of the Tavloids, Saint Patrick Genocide style, and once they are all gone, then they can talk about the arm accessory, and he pretends to put it away but stupidly tries to jump her. Um, it's Aeryn. PLUS DRUGS. This is the worst fucking plan. She totally pulls on him, and he's so stupid he deserves to get gauntleted, but D'Argo shows up whence nowhere and calls her out, so they go all d'Artagnan (Athos, Porthos, Aramis: two PKs and a fragrance) about how he called her a coward and she is a freak so can't she just drop the gauntlet and fight him fair and square? And I must admit that until just now I assumed it was because he was still ass-crazy, and that's why this is flimsy, but really, he just needs an excuse to call her a pussy and get her to drop the gauntlet. Which makes him vastly more awesome than I thought before right this second, because I was all, "What are they even fighting about? I'm going to cuddle with John over here until you work it out." Which is why you never doubt D'Argo, basically. She drops the gauntlet, D'Argo tongues her, and she falls...on D'Argo, unpredictably. They might as well have figured out a way where she'd trip onto John's crotch like in every other scene.
Rygel struggles in the shit-mud, talking to Jotheb. (Who's one letter away from somebody who's going to play this exact same penis-measurement game with D'Argo a few-score episodes from now, with far sicker consequences. Crazy, right?) Rygel asks Jotheb for help and Jotheb gives him some tentacle help getting out of the mud -- although it's around His Eminence's neck. Bekhesh enters quietly as Rygel gets himself out of the mud, and Jotheb's useless warning is not exactly helpful. Rygel has his neck under the door (he's so small they had to do the mud thing; I'm so dumb) and Bekhesh treads on it (Rygel's dumber than me) and then...Rygel dies. The fact that there's a commercial break means you're supposed to think it's actually happening. Here's my deal: why so many act-outs on Rygel dying supposedly, when he's the one person whose possible death is the...maybe it's so we'll keep tuning in? Anybody else you'd be on the edge of your chair; Rygel it's like, "I got time for popcorn now. Let's do this shit right!" That's brilliant.
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23Next