Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Don't You Wish You Never Met Her?
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 07.02.2013
Spencer: "Because it became about murdering Garrett?"
Melissa: "No comment."
Spencer: "Fine, bitch. Nice heads up on the Train thing, btw."
Melissa: "I have been protecting you since it started! I have been protecting you since before it started!"
Spencer: "Okay what about the Lodge? Why set me on fire?"
Melissa: "We weren't there to burn you, we were there to watch you. To see if you were there to meet Redcoat. Wilden set the fire. I don't know who saved you, but probably it was her."
Spencer: "How do you know Jenna and Shana? What are they doing in this? Why do you think Ali's alive?"
Melissa's Face: "(Girl hand me your phone and your wallet because you are about to go in that lake.)"
Spencer, psychically: "Whoa, you killed Wilden?"
Melissa, verbatim: "Let it go, Spencer. You have to let it go, or it will come apart in ways that you cannot even imagine."
Even Spencer: "Daaaaaamn."
But also isn't that kind of what we thought? The whole "Melissa has been shady but only by way of protecting Spencer" thing? I don't know if we talked about it, but when she said that my whole body nodded. Yes Melissa, that makes total sense Melissa. Like, her sketchiness just never adds up. And the whole show is about protecting people that way, where you bear the full brunt of the sketchiness. Covering for people who are covering for people who are covering for people who are addicted to pain cream. And Melissa's always come through before -- even when she was ganking people's yogurt, it was only because she had a pretend pregnancy. She was eating yogurt for pretend two.
Although you know, she did call the Liars "bitches" at the Lodge, that was not so nice. But still it's Melissa, and I like her. Plus, you know how many of my boyfriends you get to fuck before I join a conspiracy to destroy your life? Less than one. Certainly less than "All."
U SWIM U DIE
Paige is up to her old tricks of swimming laps in near-total darkness, as is done by the Rosewood Ladysharks, and there are shadowy movements, and but then it turns out to be Emily. Who is looking very Hastings Beefmo right now. (Or maybe it is a MEDUSA! Wearing a MASK OF EMILY!)
Paige: "Whew! I thought it about to be murder time."
Emily: "No, just total crying like usual."